Those homemade little mini sausages (It's ground beef, ground pork and ground lamb with seasonings added - salt, pepper, garlic, parsley and a bit of hungarian paprika and egg.) must be very high in sodium. We ate the leftovers of it in a stew last night and my husband is up 4 pounds in two days and I'm up 2 pounds in two days and my rings are tight and my ankles are puffy. We are both just very sensitive to foods like that I guess. Plus, it's not our normal fare. We are very much a veggies and lean meats and beans family and the festive foods feel heavy on our stomachs. I guess in a way that's good because it makes me want to eat it less.
I was in a funk much of yesterday and I feel it again today. Darn hormones messing with my head. I'm hoping a good workout session this morning will get my mood lifted - it usually does. Of course, my super sleep deprived six year old seems to be finally sleeping in this morning and I will NOT wake him just to make a class this morning. I'm planning to do the double header of Body Step and Body Pump. First class is at 9:30. It's 8 am now and no sounds coming from the bedroom. If he doesn't wake up, I'll just do the second class and maybe pick up a class this evening. Him getting enough sleep is way more important because he's been driving me crazy with his crankiness and bad behavior the last several days. Good thing my schedule is still very flexible.
When the summer gets closer to finishing up, I need to start looking for a job. In many ways I am looking forward to it. I miss being in the workforce. I miss working with people and doing creative things and getting paid for it, but at the same time I worry about juggling everything. I have two kids - both with special needs in some way. My oldest has really strong ADHD and needs a personal secretary to keep him on task with school. My youngest is high functoning autistic (they are doing away with the term Asperger's, but basically, Asperger's) and has therapy appointments. My husband is gone from 7:30 am to 6:30 pm for work and then my mother in law lives with us and she doesn't help, but actually increases the work load for me. I do her laundry, cook all the food, do all the shopping, do all the clean up and have to do all the running of errands which has all increased by one when she moved in with us. She does take care of her bedroom, bathroom and living room, but she 'forgets' how to use the mop and vacuum and has to ask me every time how to use it and so on. And of course, we have a big house and big yard that I take care of too. I'm a bit worried about when and how I will fit in the gym when I go back to work. And even if the gym is out, fitting in working out in the basement.
And I think I worry because every time I have started a new job, I have gained weight. Every. Single. Time. Partly because I start eating lunch out of the house and I make worse decisions when I have more choices. Partly because my schedule gets so tight that getting good sleep falls to the wayside and with less sleep I make worse food decisions and feel less like working out. And partly because I just don't know what happens!
Because I know this, I want to get as close to my goal weight as possible before I start working. I want the majority of the weight to be gone because: A. It will be easier to find a job if I look better for two reasons - first I'll look better and second I'll feel better about myself which will show at an interview. And B. I think it will be more difficult to fit it all in once I start working and the journey will slow down.
Initially, when I started this journey, I wanted to work out at home, in my basement in the evening because that's all I'll be able to do once I start working. I won't be able to make a 9:30 am class. A 10:45 am class. Fitting in a 6:00 or 6:30 pm class will mean less time with the kids and around dinner time. So, the basement in the evening is where I went. But, I started to tire of that very quickly. I get tired in the evening and when you're already tired, who wants to exercise? I could say, "get up early in the morning and do it". I've tried that so many times in the past and sleep always wins out. I simply cannot give up sleep to work out. As it is, I tend to get too little sleep living in this household full of night owls, giving up even more sleep never works out.
So when do I fit it in? I think it will have to be after work! Which is why I realllllllllly want to find a job very close to home (no commute) and would love to maybe get into the school system where I can have hours similar to my kids' hours. Then I wouldn't feel as bad about taking a class at 6 pm or 6:30 pm. Chances probably aren't that great, but I can hope and try, right? And... I can't worry too much about the unknown right now because there's nothing I can do for it. I need to just deal with the now.
So, yes weight is up again this morning - darn yo-yoing with the water weight.
Stats for 7/6/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 198.2
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