Thursday, March 31, 2011

My fitness game, shopping and finding a way to fit in fitness yesterday

Since the beginning of January, I've been primarily using the game Walk it Out for the Wii for my fitness. I've had to modify my movement a lot as I've gone along and gotten stronger, but it still works for me. Heck, I know fitness fiends that use this game, so it can be modified a lot. For me though, I'm bored of it. I've been doing the same thing, essentially, for three months and it's time to change things up. But I am glad that I found this game a great way to jump back into fitness. Using it along with eating better and less has helped me lose the 28 pounds I have lost so far.

Yesterday afternoon I went to Marshall's to return something and decided to try some things on while there. I didn't see much I liked, but I tried on a 16 summer knit dress, a 16W jean skirt and an 18 pair of linen capri pants. First, all of them fit to varying degrees. The 16 dress would probably look better in 10-15 pounds less, but it's wearable, especially if I wore a firming undergarment. But, I don't need a dress. I have a 16 in my closet waiting for me that fits me about the same. The 16W skirt fit just fine, but again, I have no need for a skirt. The 18 also fit, but was a bit tight in the thighs and they were low rise and I just don't have anywhere on my body for low rise to 'rest'. If I lost more in the hips, they would just slide down. So, I've concluded, I'm between a 16W and an 18W - depending on the brand.

I really don't want to buy much as I'm dropping fast and I don't plan to stay in any of these sizes very long, but it's fun to see where I am and how things are fitting better and better. Very soon, maybe by midsummer, I'll be able to buy the cute 'regular' size women's clothing. I can't wait to get out of the plus sizes and into regular sizes. That will be a huge milestone and when I get to goal? A big expense for my new wardrobe. I'll probably become a shopping addict! It's been so long since I've enjoyed clothes shopping and if that ties in with me getting a job and needing more than just mommy clothes... Wow... my closet will explode.  But for now, I'm going to get by on bare minimum stuff and just go try things on here and there for little rewards of my efforts. Looking and trying is enough. I don't need to buy.

No more additional weight loss for me today, but no gain either, so that's a small victory too considering how fast I dropped down recently. I got a good workout yesterday too, but how I got it in was a bit comical. So, yesterday I ran some errands and didn't get to exercising until my younger son was home from school. We went down to the basement and decided to do it together (meaning he walked beside me and held a wiimote and nunchuk too. I added his favorite song to the rotation too -Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas. I like it too, but it's slower than any of the other songs I use, but, I really move hard with that song as it just makes you want to move and it keeps my heart rate up there). Anyway, we were down there for about 15 minutes when the phone rang. I paused, answered the phone and it was my husband saying he was on his way home. A bit early. Little guy and I went for about 15 minutes more and then I went upstairs to start dinner. I made dinner, ate, cleaned up the kitchen, got the bread started with the fermented starter, and went down again. After 30 minutes I came up, punched down the dough, shaped it and left it to rise while I went down again. After another 30 minutes, I came up, put the dough in the oven and went down again. I was planning on staying down there the entire time the bread was cooking, but my knee was beginning to complain and it was getting close to putting the little guy to bed and it was my turn, so just 10 minutes. Add that up and that's a chopped up 1 hour and 40 minutes and 5.7 miles yesterday and because I had that nap and felt rested, all of it I pushed myself to get that heart rate up there. But I got it in and this time at least not late at night.

Stats for 3/31/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 227.6 (28 lbs lost)
Exercise total hours/minutes in 2011: 82 hours
Walking totals for 2011: 268.7/1000

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Whirlwind day yesterday, but my scale has become my friend

Yesterday I had appointments all day. My day started at 7:30 am with getting the kiddo ready for school and ended at 9:30 pm with a meeting for the older kiddo at his school for his upcoming band trip. I had so much to do and no time to exercise. Those are the days I don't really feel bad about missing exercise because there was nothing I could do about it. Days like that will happen and it had nothing to do with laziness.

It's also really beginning to hit me that I'm not just at the beginning of this any more. I've seriously lost a good chunk of weight now. If that pizza pie to the side had just three slices, 1/3 would be gone already and I'm getting really close to being able to carve out another slice as the 30 lbs mark is approaching quickly.

I'm having little moments of "wow". Like last night, I rested my face in my hand while leaning on my elbow and I realized, "Huh, my face is less padded!" I'm looking in the mirror and my shape is coming back. It's amazing really and I still have a lot of weight yet to go! More than fifty pounds, but I'm really beginning to see results now and that just pushes me harder to keep doing what I'm doing.

It's a sleepy day, but at least not a super busy one. I'll definitely have to fit a really good workout in here some time today. The scale was super kind to me this morning. I'm down almost another pound, but I have to earn those pounds lost and too little exercise will stall things out.

Stats for 3/30/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now 227.6 (28 lbs lost)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Wasted a day yesterday, but still exercised!

So, much of yesterday I was a slug. The lack of sleep the night before didn't help motivate me. Neither did the frigid temperatures outside. I didn't even run errands like I should have because I just couldn't muster the energy to do it.

Most of the day I figured out what I would need for my little one's birthday party in a bit over a month. We have to have the party after his birthday because his birthday falls during spring break and Easter weekend. So, I decided on the party supplies, some decorations and a design for the cake.

Since I obsessed about the stuff yesterday, I'll show you the loot we'll get. So first, the little guy wants a Dr. Seuss party and a Cat in the Hat cake. Here's the stuff for the party: party invites

And here is the cake design:

Which is a take off of these:

Which is made possible by a structure like this:

You can buy them or they are fairly easily make them yourselves. It's pretty ambitious, but I think it will be fun to do! I took out a lot of the artsy stuff I was thinking of doing because of time constraints and my lack of talent in that department.

So, that's what took over yesterday, but because I have decided on things, and even on some games to play, that obsession is over and I can move on to other things, like sewing my mother in law's curtains! Ugh!

Because of my slug state yesterday, I didn't get to exercising while everyone was gone. Instead I forewent Dancing with the Stars last night, let my little guy watch one show before going to bed, put him to bed and then went down finally at 9:30 pm. After 20 minutes the phone rang and it was important so I took it. After that 10 minute interruption, I got back to it and 10 minutes later my gut was telling me I needed the bathroom. Up two flights of stairs to go to the bathroom, and then back down again for the remainder of the 70 minutes. My reward for my diligence was cleaning the litter boxes and hauling it upstairs and outside for garbage pick-up in the morning.

I do exercise in the evening way too much because I really don't like exercising and I put it off until I can't put it off any longer. At least I do it though, right?

But  I got a real reward for my hard work this morning for being good. Another significant drop on the scale!

Stats for 3/29/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 228.4 (a bit over 27 lbs lost)
Exercise totals for 2011: 80 hours and 20 minutes
Walking totals for 2011: 263/1000

Monday, March 28, 2011

Getting obsessed about my son's 6th birthday

I have spent the last two hours and two hours yesterday looking at cake sites for ideas for his birthday. I just wish I had more talent! Artistic talent. Of course, everything I fall in love with is out of my skill level. Ugh.

What does this have to do with weight loss? Nothing, except it's funny I'm obsessed with cake I can't eat!

Like, look at this one:

And I would LOVE to be able to replicate this one:

I might be able to do something like this with my husband's help, but I wouldn't do an outdoor scene - probably thing 1 and thing 2 running around the house with kites:

There are so many cute things to do if you have the talent. I have the patience, just not the skill. Now, I'm not too bad, but it's not perfect! And I like perfection.

But this does tie into weight loss and fitness, sort of. My workout last night was late because I got so caught up into looking at cakes, that I didn't start until 9:30 pm. I felt strong and wanted to push it, so I worked it HARD, average heart rate was 137 doing the same workout I usually do and usually get 128-132 for an average. I just lifted my knees higher and swung my arms harder. The bad part was that then I couldn't sleep until 2 am. All because I was too busy looking at cakes instead of working out at a reasonable hour! LOL Oh well! I got the workout in.

Stats for 3/28/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 229.4 (a bit over 26 lbs lost)
Exercise totals in 2011: 79 hours and 10 minutes
Walking totals in 2011: 255/1000

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Finally out of the 30s

The 230s that is. The scale was finicky this morning. First it said 229.4, then 229.8, then 230.0 then 229.8, then 229.4 and finally another 229.8 I always take the measurement that seems most stable which was elusive this morning, but with the proper foot position, it liked 229.8 the best. Yes, even expensive scales wiggle around a bit. I don't really see the need for a doctor's scale.

I have a busy day today (again). Today is a spring festival so the weather decided to spit snowflakes. I still need to make the side dish. We leave the house in 1.5 hours. I am running a silent auction, I still need to get the papers into their folders. And I have some errands to run when I get home. JoAnne's is having a big sale and today is the last day. Yes, they always have big sales, but this weekend is bigger than usually.

I had a busy day yesterday too and because of it, ran out of time to exercise. Well, maybe I could have fit it in at 12:30 am, but that seemed a little extreme. Yesterday, I did some baking for home (bread, normal food), played with my 5 year old, ran errands, made a dozen phone calls for the auction, and then filled out all the auction forms, and ran errands. I was trying to find some things at Goodwill too for spring and boy, a big strike out there. I tried on no less than 30 pairs of pants/shorts and a big zero. Most of the 16Ws were too tight, a couple fit, but looked awful, and a couple were too big. I could only find 1 18 and it didn't look good and one 20 that was too big (even though it's the same brand as the jeans I'm currently wearing and they fit great, LLBean). Big, big strikeout. I guess I'll have to suck it up and actually buy new shorts/capris somewhere else as Goodwill and Marshall's are not working for me.

Not much else. Yesterday I was all deep, today I'm hurriedly posting and then busting my butt to get everything done this morning.

Stats for 3/27/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now 229.8 (25.5 pounds lost)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I was looking at my blood test results from January

Since I'm getting closer to my blood tests for my blood sugar around April 10th or so, I decided to take a look at my last blood work. I compared it to the blood work from December. In that one month my blood sugars got worse. I think as my thyroid got better, the sugars went up (which is the usual thing for someone hypothyroid who also has blood sugar issues). Everything indicates that indeed, I am diabetic. My fasting blood sugar results were 145 the first time and 209 the second time. The HA1C test was 8.7 in January, which is in the range of poorly controlled blood sugars.

Now, I am doing everything in my power to make it better naturally. I am staying away from simple carbs all together (just two occasions I had something simple carbs). I'm exercising 6 days a week. I'm losing weight at a decent, safe rate. I am worrying a little bit about what those blood tests will say. What if they are still high numbers? I can cut carbs some more. That's true. Right now I eat about 100 net grams of carbs a day - mostly from veggies and fruit (light on fruit).  I could eat closer to 50 if needed. I could take glucose readings after meals (1 hour and/or 2 hour) to see what my trigger foods are and eliminate them if needed. Beyond that, it's out of my control at this point.

It's a shame that I let myself get to the diabetic state. Sure, I can get test results back that have my fasting blood sugar well under 100 and my HA1C under 6.5, but those numbers would only appear because of  what I'm doing which is what any diabetic should do - naturally controlling blood sugar levels as much as they can. Most likely, I will need to eat like this the rest of my life - avoiding breads, pastas, rice and other simple carbs. Much of it I shouldn't have even if I wasn't diabetic, but I made it more difficult on myself by being overweight and unfit. The only way I could really know if I 'cured' my diabetes is if I took that 3 hour fasting test where you drink a sugary drink and they track it. If my insulin was able to take care of the sugars, then I am not diabetic and it was just the thyroid that was causing the problem and the extra weight and unfit state. But, they don't do those tests usually and I'm not sure I would want to sit through that (again) just to know. But, I will get some test strips and a glucose monitor so I can find out my triggers. It's something I should know.

I look at those tests and I think I knew I was going to have blood sugar issues. It's what kept me away from the doctor for several years. I didn't want to know. I was actually beginning to think to myself, "Well, I feel like crap. I don't really care if I live a long life. Long enough to see my kids grow up, but that's enough." I was surprised at the bad thyroid and the blood pressure issues, but in general, I felt like crap, so I didn't care very much. I was afraid to face a lifelong illness. So, I'm glad I had those terrible headaches for three months that finally forced me into a doctor.

It's obvious now that I was in a depression. I understand it, however. I had been in a funk since my pregnancy 6 years ago. The pregnancy was difficult and then I was handed a very difficult baby. He didn't sleep, which means I didn't sleep. It's one thing if you sleep most nights well and only occasionally lose sleep, but I was never getting a good night's sleep. Every single night for 3 years he woke up 5-7 times a night and had to be comforted back to sleep (with some nights he would be awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night). Once I finally got him to stop that, he would wake up only once, but at 2 am or 3 am and stay awake until 5 am. For over a year he did that 3-4 times a week, with it slowly decreasing in frequency. Finally, when he was about 5 I was able to teach him to stay in bed and to let me sleep when he had one of those sleepless nights. He still gets them about every 6-8 weeks, but now it doesn't disturb me.

Of course, by then, my health had gone to pot and now "I" wasn't sleeping 3-4 times a week for a year, and then the headaches started and got worse. I really wasn't even sure what I wanted, but a long, miserable life was not one of them. It was only having a young child that made me want to live long enough to see him raised.

Severe sleep deprivation is a killer. It really is. And so, the headaches forced me to the doctor and within a week, I was sleeping again and the depression slipped away very quickly - within 2-3 weeks as I recharged my brain. Sleep deprived induced depression. Who wouldn't be depressed? The body and head get completely messed up when it never gets recharged.

So, yes, it sucks that I still have high blood pressure. That I hope will disappear soon. Yes it sucks that my thyroid is messed up, but that is easily treatable. And yes it sucks I am probably diabetic, but I am sure hoping that I can control that naturally too and not have diabetic problems. I am really lucky that I hadn't done any permanent damage to my body yet - kidneys are fine, heart is fine, eyes are fine. If it wasn't for the high blood pressure induced headaches, who knows how long it would have taken me to go in to the doctor's office. I could have had a stroke, gotten kidney disease, or worse. So, yes, I'm thankful to the headaches for forcing me to face the doctor. It's not so bad to deal with what I'm dealing with. I feel great and hope to keep feeling better and better!

Stats for 3/25/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 230.4 (that pound disappeared, but those 230s won't let go!)
Exercise totals for 2011: 78 hours
Walking totals in 2011: 255/1000

Friday, March 25, 2011

I will not freak out about this pound I gained

Most nights before I go to bed I weigh myself. It gives me a rough idea of where I'll be in the morning. When I stepped on the scale last night, I went, "Yikes!" And sure enough, when I stepped on the scale this morning, my weight was up a whole pound.

While I don't like seeing it, I was fully expecting it. The same thing happened last month about the same time. For about 4 days it spiked up, and then came down - all around ovulation. Last month it sort of freaked me out as I don't recall that happening in previous weight loss attempts, but then, I didn't used to weigh myself daily either. And maybe it's a new thing. Our bodies do change all the time. Why can't this be a new change?

Yesterday was a cruddy day - cold and wet and dreary. So, I exercised in the basement. Like all things, getting started is the worst, but once I started, that 70 minutes flew by. For kicks I decided to step on the Wii balance board and do the Wii Fit Body test. It informed me it had been 30 days since I last checked in. After chastising me, it gave me my new BMI and weight. I had lost 9 pounds since the last weigh in. Well, wasn't that nice to hear!

I've been ignoring any strength training as I hate it, but I was beginning to feel guilty about it, so last night I did 40 girly push-ups (10, 10, 10, 5, 5) and then did 3 sets of 20 second hold girly planks. Amazing how tough it is for the core to support the body's weight like that.

Today is another cold morning, frost on the cars. I'm not sure if I'll walk around the lake or not, but I will jump around in the basement. Fun times! At least it's Friday! Woohoo!

Of course, I just announced publicly that I had dropped 25 lbs. Just so that I could gain a pound overnight. I just have to chuckle at my body's response!

Stats for 3/25/11:

Beginning Weight: 255.6  Now: 231.6 (up one pound to 24 lbs lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 76 hours and 50 minutes.
Walking totals in 2011: 251/1000

Thursday, March 24, 2011

When in doubt, throw it out!

This is what I always tell me husband, but did I heed my own advice? Oh no! Well, from now on, I will!

Yesterday I went to the international market to get fruits and veggies. I picked up some sprouted mung beans (soybeans) - those are the sprouts in egg foo young and chow mein. Well, I like to make them with scrambled eggs and a wee bit of potato and soy sauce. I decided to make that for brunch yesterday. Well, when I opened the bag of newly bought sprouts, they smelled a little off, but I don't have a ton of experience with sprouts, so I ignored it. I made the dish, sat down to eat it and the sprouts tasted a bit off, but I was hungry, I had made it. How could it be bad? It's just sprouts grown in spring water... Well, two hours later I'm running to the bathroom and my guts emptied out. My neighbor called about taking a walk and I decided to go. Fortunately, I was still Ok, but when I got back my stomach started churning. No up chucking, but very queasy for the rest of the day. I just ate some simple cookies (like arrowroot cookies) for the rest of the day to calm my gut and stomach. Fortunately, I only got a mild dose of food poisoning. By the end of the day, that bag of sprouts smelled super foul and out they went in the trash. Lesson learned! That is now the second time in my life I had food poisoning. First time was from eating bad cream cheese at a bagel shop near my work. That one was a vomit fest. This time I got off lucky.

Since I wasn't feeling that great yesterday, that walk around the lake was my only exercise. Well, and doing 5 loads of laundry, but I don't count stuff like that. Yesterday I decided to change out all the bedding down to the mattress. For the boys, I put their down comforters back on as they weren't complaining about being too hot yet. And, it makes sense. It's only one body in the bed, so the bed doesn't get as hot. On our bed I put on the quilt. Well, the quilt isn't enough. It's a thin cotton filled quilt. Se we go from buried in down feathers, to being covered by a thin cotton quilt. We have nothing for inbetween. Maybe I need to get us either a lighter comforter or add another layer under the quilt because at 1:30 in the morning, with my toes still cold, I went to the guest/craft room and brought out two smaller blanket to put over each of us on top of the quilt. Then I slept fine.

What do most people use? For the year we go: Down comforter (heavy) for winter, cotton quilt for spring and fall, to a woven lightweight hemp blanket for summer. Well, most people probably crank heat or AC, but we don't. I need to find a solution, for sure. Hmmm...

Hoping to get a better work out today. It will have to be in the basement. It's raining and cold and I'm not feeling it for outside. No way. I'll do the Walk it Out Wii game. I have about 6-7 more times to do it before I finish it, so I should just get it over with and then Hasta la Vista Baby!!!

And, I'm now officially down 25 lbs.

Stats for 3/24/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now: 230.6
Exercise total hours in 2011: 75 hours 45 minutes
Walking totals in 2011: 247/1000

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

How I'm feeling these days

First, I'll comment on my before and in the process of getting healthy pictures. Several people on Facebook and on a weight loss forum commented that I look younger now. I'm not sure I look younger because of losing some weight, changing my hairstyle, getting by blood pressure under control and getting rid of those daily, horrible headaches, sleeping better, or if it's that I'm eating healthier. It's probably all of the above, but I see it too. It's funny though, I am still very overweight, but those nearly 25 pounds gone have me feeling so much better.

I feel I stand taller (and I probably do). I feel I move faster (and I probably do). My complexion has cleared up (except for this week for some odd reason - could be the bad sleep these past few days I suppose) and feel alert and alive. Not only all that, but my mood is better. It's pretty hard to feel good about anything when you feel lousy and I was feeling pretty darn lousy. I laugh more, smile more and con tolerate frustration better. And I'm just starting. I still have 55 pounds to go to get pretty close to my ideal weight, so I'm imagining how much better I'll feel as I progress farther!

That's one thing I forgot or buried deep in the memory bank. I forgot how good it feels to take care of yourself inside and out. I remembered the exercise high while doing it, but I forgot the long term effects. I feel strong. I feel powerful when really, I'm still very unfit, but it's heading in the right direction. Just this morning while I was whizzing around, I realized that 3 months ago that would have wiped me out and I would have needed a rest. Now, I can keep going. And because I feel good, I want to do more. Every day it gets just a little bit better. I know my family feels that emotional side of me getting better the most.

And, that's about it. I walked 3.5 miles yesterday and managed to sneak in a nice nap later. Weight is the same as yesterday, but that's fine as it was a pretty big drop yesterday. In just .2 of a pound I'll have lost 25 pounds. About 55 more to go. I just hope it stays as easy to keep it all together as I go along. Spring helps!

Stats for 3/23/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now 230.8 (almost 25 pounds lost)
Exercise hours in 2011: 75 hours 15 minutes
Walk totals in 2011: 245.5/1000

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Two nights of little sleep and before photos

I could pin two nights ago lack of sleep on several things - I was too hot (we still have the down comforter on the bed), I didn't exercise that day, and I had too much to eat at dinner and had some indigestion. That night I got 4 hours of sleep.

Following up that 4 hours of sleep night I worked around the house a bit, walked 5.5 miles yesterday outside and didn't take a nap. I went to bed at 11 pm and I have been awake since 3 am and probably stirring before then. So, for two nights of sleep, I've gotten 8 hours total. Not good. And why didn't I sleep this night? Very, very frustrating. I can't even blame it on a full moon. That was 3 nights ago and I slept fine then!

Maybe it's my thyroid. I haven't had it checked yet like I should, but I really doubt that it's gone to the other side of hyperactive as I'm on a pretty low dose considering where I started with those numbers, but I can't rule that out. I really need to get that blood work done. Ack and YUCK! I need to find where I put that paperwork. I put it somewhere 'safe' in January, so I would remember it in March...sure...

Well, since I can't sleep, I decided to find a before photo, whole body if I could. Problem is, I hate the camera and the camera hates me, so even if I can find something, it's usually not a good picture. And while I am showing myself at my worst, that doesn't mean I want to air some super hideous picture of me either!

OK, I found 3 from October and one from Christmas. For the October ones this is when  I was in the middle of the daily headaches. I felt HORRID. It's also about 2 weeks before I got 24" of braid cut off. My weight there was between 255-258. When I see them now, I can really see what losing 24 pounds looks like. Pictures are good motivators. Here they are (you can click on them to get the full size picture):

This first one my husband was being cheeky with the placement of the pumpkins.

Big belly

I'm just round  - no shape at all.

Then I found this one from Christmas. In this one I had dropped a little weight to get to 255.6 (The beginning half of December I had gotten up to 260 with holiday goodies, but by the end got to my starting weight):

Again, my husband being cheeky while I blew up my 5 year old's boxing balloon.

Compare those to these (which I just posted a couple days ago):

I still have a LONG way to go, but I think, at least, I am looking way better. The shorter hair is better too. It was way, way, way too long (like past my butt long). I might grow it a wee bit longer, but not much past my shoulders ever again.

Well, my stats will be screwy for today as I didn't sleep last night. Oh well!

Stats for 3/22/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now: 230.8 (just shy of 25 lbs lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 74 hours 15 minutes
Exercise total miles in 2011: 242/1000

Monday, March 21, 2011

Not a very restful night of sleep

Last night I ate more for dinner than I usually do. It was good food and food I needed (fish and vegetables), but after tallying it all up, it came to about 850 calories. (Quite a bit of olive oil and a half glass of wine). I also didn't exercise yesterday. We were running errands much of yesterday so we ran out of time. First chance I had to exercise was 9 pm and I was tired and had a slight headache AND my stomach felt too full.

Last night while sleeping I was dreaming about getting fatter (and I feel bloated). I think it was more that my stomach felt too full going to sleep and I had a bit of indigestion. I know I was tossing and turning quite a bit too. I think I was also tossing and turning because it's getting too warm in our room for a down comforter. I think it's time to take out the quilt and put away the winter stuff for the year.

So here I am at 7:15 am, awake before I need to be and I don't feel like I got enough sleep and since my dreams were a bit unsettling, I don't feel good overall. Also thunder woke me up and it will be a rainy day today, so I also know that means I have to exercise in the basement today and I'm tired of exercising in the basement. I got a taste of spring this weekend and I like it!

Part of our errands yesterday was getting tennis rackets for everyone. My husband and I used to have rackets, but we hadn't used them in 12 years. Our littlest one has been asking about playing tennis. Our older one had tennis as a gym subject last year and my husband wants to play again. We live near tennis courts, so it was time. A few months ago I wouldn't have gotten a racket for myself. I was in no condition to be playing tennis and couldn't foresee myself getting into any sort of condition to be able to play. But now, I can see being able to do that very soon. Only thing I don't like about tennis is that usually courts are out in the complete open under the beating sun. I really hate getting super duper hot and that's almost a given with tennis. We used to try to play at night, but that's not always possible, especially when you have young kids. Well, we have one young child, but that's all it takes!

OK, off to get ready this morning. I'm not overly excited to take the little one to school in the rain - not my favorite activity. But it's spring!!!! Nicer weather is bound to happen and rain is important too.

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now 231.6 (24 lbs lost)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Some update pictures

Some people have been asking me for some updated pictures. I don't have much for before pictures on this computer. On the side, I have posted two similar pictures. One taken in late November at my before weight and one taken yesterday at 23 lbs down. You can see it in my face, for sure. I don't have a before body shot. Well, I do have some photos of me before and will find them on other computers, but for now, I'll just show the current body shot too.

Yesterday was another really nice day. Not quite as warm and a bit breezy, but lovely for taking a walk. The whole family went on the first walk around the lake. Second time I went alone. I'm getting faster, but still a good fast walk is all I need to get my heart pumping and to get me panting. Those steep hills though are getting easier every week, so I know I'm getting stronger.

Ok, here are three additional shots: Shot one is another face picture:

Shot two is a full body shot:

And shot three is a picture of me, my husband (who has dropped 9 lbs recently too) and my soon to be 6 year old:

During that walk an acquaintance stopped me and said I was looking great. He said, "You are looking great. I can tell you've dropped a lot of weight!" Now, when someone who you see just outside around the lake every few weeks notices, then it must be noticeable! Made me feel good!

Not much else for today. I'm just happy spring is here. Saw lots of people out this weekend, lots of dogs too! Oh, I saw a couple out walking 4 Great Pyrenee dogs! Wow! That's a lot of dog!

Stats for 3/20/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 231.6  (24lbs lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 72 hours 30 minutes
Walking totals in 2011: 236.65/1000

Saturday, March 19, 2011

About my home and how I think it's helping me and will continue to help me

The peace that comes over me in my neighborhood is unbelievable. We've lived here for a year now and while living with my mother in law is no picnic, it allowed us to live in a home and neighborhood I've always dreamed about. You would think that after 16 months in our new residence that the novelty would have worn off, but it hasn't. Yesterday I walked home from my little guy's school and a smile spread across my face as I reached the lake glowing in the sunshine and with three geese gracefully swimming across. The area is established (built between 1967 and 1969). The homes aren't fancy, but well kept and all the houses are unique. Everyone has decent size yards, trees are everywhere and birds galore. It's restful, well connected to everything in the town and it's home. Probably for many people here who grew up in nice suburbs or who have seen so much better, won't get what this means to me, but I feel like I've landed in my little haven.

I was thinking to myself, "why do I feel so extreme about this"? And it's pretty obvious. I think. I've never lived in a place like it in all my adult life and we've lived in some pretty undesirable places on our way here.

First, with growing up, we did live in a nice location. I could walk to school, downtown, to all my friends' homes and life was pretty good. In many ways it's much like what I have now. I grew up with everything so close - including water, woods and parks within feet of my home. I loved that in my elementary years. Then my parents got a divorce and we went to one rental after another. Some places better than others, but nothing was ever permanent. Then college years. I moved all the time from year to year, summers and back home there was no home. My family kept moving to less and less desirable locations (at least for me).

Then I got married and moved to Chicago. Our first apartment literally felt like a shoe box and our view was a brick wall 5 feet outside the window. Then a slightly bigger shoebox, then into a pretty icky apt. building on the north side, but in a great location. Then a move inward in another nice location, but in a very tiny apartment. We always lived in something a bit too small for us. All seemed to be progressing normally though - a little bit better with each move.

Then my husband started a PhD. program. We knew it would mean tightening the belt, and just dealing for awhile. We moved halfway across the country and settled into another too small apartment, but in a good location to live, not so great for commuting to and from work - well connected, but LONG commutes. Then we moved into a dorm for two years when I was a residence director. Loved the job, the housing saved us money, but boy, what a bad location (inner city Philadelphia), no view and it was a 'we can deal with it' situation. Then, we moved again and bought our first house in Canada. We loved that house, but it was a starter home and we would walk to other neighborhoods for our walks and we talked when we hoped to be able to live there. But that home was well connected, had a great yard and deck and it was our home.

But another move was forced on us and we moved again, back to the heartland. This time for less than a year, so we rented. The house was fine enough, but it wasn't ours and didn't feel like home. Then another move back to the east coast just during the housing boom (before the peak) and the only thing we could afford was a townhouse. We looked at 42 homes, put bids on 11 before getting this one. And, we had a surprise baby, which we were thrilled about, but it made our home too small again. And we found townhouse living was not for us - no storage, no room for bikes or anything for outdoors as we had no garage or no shed. Plus our area was so disconnected from stores, schools, even taking walks was difficult as there was only one boring path to take. We were constantly looking ahead to our next house. I don't think we even realized how trapped we felt in that townhouse until we got out of it.

Then another move was forced on us. I wasn't happy about it. First, we had finally gotten established a bit in our old community (living there 5 years  - he longest I've lived anywhere in a very long time) and moving is so hard. I was dreading it. But we went house shopping and after figuring out what we needed, we were deciding between two homes. One home was move in ready, a great house, but in a nowhere neighborhood. The other house needed a lot of upgrading, but it was in an ideal location. A few steps onto the walking path behind the house sealed the deal. I wanted location. We had gotten a good house before without the location and it really is everything about location. We could fix up the house, we couldn't relocate it to a better neighborhood.

So we bought the house and renovated. Gutted the kitchen, master bathroom, expanded a half bath to a full bath, painted, pulled up carpet to get to the hardwoods underneath and so on. We even had to replace every appliance and will still need to do gutters, the driveway and soon enough the roof and siding, but every day I get to look out the windows and see fairly open space, trees, wildlife and 500 feet from the house is a wonderful lake with a walking path, park land, benches and waterfowl. Professional photographers will come park in front of my house any day the weather is nice. One even thought of buying our house, but didn't want to deal with the remodeling.

My children can walk to the elementary school, middle school and high school from home. Heck, even the community college. We are less than a mile from the main mall for the city, a mile from the central library and various restaurants and more lakes and walking trails. My husband's commute to work is 25 minutes door to door and we are still close to Baltimore, DC and northern Virginia, but far enough out to avoid the traffic nightmares.

This is our forever home. We have no plans of moving again, or if we do, to stay in the same area, just a smaller house as our family gets smaller over time. We love it here and I think it's helping me with this journey. I walked my son to school and back. That's a mile of walking. I can pick him up and back, that's another mile. A walk around the lake, that's another 1.5 miles. Look how easy that is to fit 3.5 miles of walking in the day. Come summer we'll walk to the pool. .4 miles. We can ride our bikes to the library, a mile there and back. There are trails going everywhere, so if I get tired of the lake, I'll head in a different direction.

My mind is in a better place. My computer table is in front of the window looking out over the cul de sac island.  I see everyone passing by to get to the lake, the dogs, the kids, the old and the young. There are several large trees outside my windows, so there are always birds and squirrels. Plus, I find my neighbor's house across the street charming. It's the same style house as ours, minus the addition over the garage and it has an added roof over the front stoop, but it also is cedar shaker shingles.

Our house is ugly from the outside, no personality, but I'll take the ugly exterior if it comes with the function of the interior and this fantastic location.

We have a great, safe yard for the kids to play and a nice, private deck to enjoy. And enjoy we do. Every meal in summer when it's not raining, we eat outside. What a treat. What a real treat to have shade from the trees, and privacy from the bushes, yet open enough to enjoy the nature. Last year we even had a cardinal's nest viewable from my kitchen window. I watched two nests be built over the summer and two sets of baby cardinals get raised. I see they are back building this spring.

There is just no way to stay tense and unhappy in such a wonderful environment and it's helping me make this journey so much easier. And I can see it will stay easier. It's motivating to see people out and about all the time. You don't feel so alone and isolated. When it seems everyone around you takes walks and jogs and rides bikes, then feel like the odd one out for not doing it too.

Anyone who would come to visit me would probably think, "What's the big deal? Looks like a common suburb to me!"  But, it's the best we've ever had, a bit of it reminds me of my growing up home and it's motivating. As long as I find it a haven, that's all that matters, right?

Stats for 3/19/11:

Beginning Weight: 255.6   Now 232.4 (23 lbs 2 ozs lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 71 hours 40 minutes
Walking totals in 2011: 233.7/1000

Friday, March 18, 2011

As clothes get too big and the shins

Yesterday I pulled out a green patterned shirt to wear for St. Patrick's Day. I used to look good in that shirt. Well, I looked better in that shirt than many others as it flattered the heavier body better, but now with 22 pounds lost, it hung on me and looked like a maternity shirt. Yes, sure, I could still wear it, but as I'm working hard to lose weight and gain fitness, I don't want to feel frumpy along the way. Feeling frumpy affects the mood and that can affect my mental effort in all that I'm doing. I'll get through the rest of this cold season and then donate all my tops. I won't be able to fit any of these come next fall. I'll keep my sweaters for now, but tops, out they will go.

I already have a stack of pants that are too big (had to edit this as I initially said a stack that is too small - boy is that a Freudian slip or what? That is what I'm used to, things getting too tight to wear!) and obviously, I will have to replace those as I go as I have been at Goodwill (same place I'll look for tops), but the problem area I am beginning to run into is bras. My rib cage has shrunk 2" which means my bra band size is one size too big. I was already on the tightest hooks 20 pounds ago, (as I bought the bras 30 pounds ago). The backs of the bra are beginning to slide up my back which means I'm not getting the support I need. Now, this is something that A. I can't find at Goodwill and B. I wouldn't want to get at Goodwill. First I'll try to see if I can sew them a bit tighter, but I'll probably have to buy some fairly soon. I have to special order and it's not cheap. I guess there has to be some expense as I get smaller.

Another issue I'm having is with my shins. I walked 3.3 miles around the lake yesterday and to and from my son's school and my shins ache if there's any sort of incline. I know what the problem is - those muscles get overused as I have high arches and my feet over pronate. My experience in the past is to just slowly gain strength in those muscles (they need to be the strongest in the leg basically) and then it will get better. Which means, I need to do more and more 'real' walks around the lake and elsewhere at a slow enough speed not to get shin splints, but fast enough to actually build strength. Means my heart rate won't go as high, but movement is movement, gaining strength is gaining strength and it will all come in time. With the weather getting better and better I should take a walk twice a day around the lake or it's equivalent, always working on building those shin muscles' strength.

Not much else here today. My mother in law is back, but I'm going to try to keep a positive attitude. But, it's Friday! Looking forward to a nice weekend!

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now: 233.2 (lost 22.4 lbs)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 70 hours 40 minutes
Walking totals in 2011: 230.35/1000 miles

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Just realized this is the least I've weighed in well over a decade

I've gotten close to this weight before without trying to lose weight. I weighed 238 after giving birth to my youngest. (I tend to lose weight while pregnant - I think it's that my metabolism speeds up during pregnancy and I am ultra careful about what I eat during pregnancies too). I weighed 240 something after our move from Canada to Iowa, but to be 233.... that would have to be way back in 1998. That is unbelievably LONG ago. Of course then, I was appalled to be so high and began that exercise and Weight Watcher's diet. I was losing about 2 pounds a week then too, maybe a bit less, but I was eating a lot of carbs still and I was still dealing with cravings for sweet things. This time I'm in a much better place mentally about the weight loss and have no cravings.

But it's been 13 years, almost exactly since I was this weight before. During that time, as I said, I lost about 2 lbs a week (like I am now) and I got down to 185 (for about a day) to 50 lbs lost. And I got to there around October or maybe earlier November. Gee, I can't quite remember. I know I totally quit some time in November, but for about a month there I was still exercising frantically, but my eating had gotten out of control. I was beginning to binge eat, but not wanting to quit, I was trying to at least exercise for awhile.... but then gave up. Yes, it was November when I quit the exercise, but it was October when the weight loss stopped.

I still have about five pieces of clothing from that time and two more from before I gained all the weight in the first place (though I was about 190 when I got married at age 23, so I could weigh less than when I got married quite easily). One item I have is a pair of black linen pants from Laura Ashley's store in a size 14 (a generously sized 14). They fit me so nicely and are so nice quality that I always held onto them in hopes that I could wear them again. Another is a red dress I bought from Talbot's. It's a size 20 (before they changed their sizes) and it fits like a 16. I simple adore that dress so I kept it. Similar story for a blue skirt and blouse from Pier One that I kept. Then there's a dress, a summer weight purple one, that i don't even like that much, but my husband wanted me to keep because he loved how I looked in it and always hoped I could wear it again. That's about a 16 and I wore it that summer I was losing all the weight... at about 200 lbs I think?  And then there's a wool pleated skirt (probably damaged from moths by this point) that I got from LLBean when I first got married and weighed about 195. That's a size 16.  And then there's my wedding outfit which is a two piece light weight dress suit. Wouldn't it be nice if that were actually too big for me instead of too small as it has been forever except for that one other time I dropped weight?

That I kept my wedding outfit, OK, that makes sense as most people keep that, but that I kept those others means I always had hope that I would get there and be able to wear them again. It is a bit crazy as we've moved 5 times since I lost that weight the first time. But having hope is important.

And then there are rings to fit into. I'm already able to wear one that my mother in law gave me when my youngest son was born. I'm wearing that one now. Then there are two others a tad too snug yet. Ironically, it was for my anniversary in October that I had my wedding ring expanded. I hadn't been wearing it for over a decade because it was too tight. I had a different band instead. Now it fits fine, but it will probably get too big for my finger and then what? In October, when I was in the middle of all those terrible headaches and not sleeping well, I gave up. I figured, "what's the point. I'll never be thin enough to wear this ring at its small size again." Then, in less than three months, the headaches were gone and I was sleeping better and ready to take on this weight battle. Look how quickly things can change?

Ok, time to get the little one up for school. it's going to be a beautiful day so I'll try to spend some time outside too. Maybe raking? Or maybe I'll do that tomorrow when it's supposed to hit 75? Woo-hoo! (or a little each day is probably a better plan. We didn't rake in the fall as several of our trees are late leaf droppers).

Stats for 3/17/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now: 233.2 (22.4 lbs lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 69 hours 40 minutes
Walking totals in 2011: 227/1000 miles

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

How important is breakfast?

I'm a person who doesn't like to be a sheep. I like to think things through. I never used to eat breakfast because I'm not usually very hungry in the morning, but my husband convinced me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, yada, yada, yada. Well, what if you just aren't hungry in the morning? Now back in my carb feasting days, I would usually eat some toast with a bit of butter or peanut butter on it along with a bit of jam. First, I can't eat that any more and second, what was I getting from that anyway? A bit of fat and mostly simple carbs - even whole grain bread is pretty simple. They were, for the most part, empty calories to say that I ate breakfast.

Well now I have a thyroid medicine to take and doctors say not to eat anything for 30 minutes to an hour after taking it with a big glass of water. So, if I take that at 7:30 in the morning and wait an hour, that takes me to 8:30 am which is when I'm rushing to get my son off to school. I'll get back at 9:15 am-ish and then I usually drink a protein shake and perhaps an apple with cinnamon and peanut butter - denpending on how hungry I am. Many times I'm not very hungry, so I'll leave it at the protein shake. That sets off a morning of nibbling. A shake, an apple, a protein bar, lunch and then an afternoon snack and then finally dinner.

Yesterday however, my son had a sleepless night and we decided to let him sleep until he woke up. That was until 10:30. Since it was an unusual morning, I forgot to eat breakfast and I wasn't hungry. I got the little one breakfast, made his lunch, got him to school and got home by 11:10 am. I was totally not hungry. So, I decided to do an experiment. Let's see when I get hungry.

Around noon I thought I felt hungry, but I drank a glass of water and that pang went away. I was thirsty. At 1 pm I decided to work out and see how it went on an empty stomach. It was one of the best workouts I had. The time seemed to fly and I felt great. I finished up about 2:15 pm. Still not feeling hungry, but quite thirsty, I decided I should break the fast with a protein shake. I followed that with an apple with peanut butter and I was stuffed. That's my usual breakfast but I ate it at 2:30 pm instead of 9:30 am. Hmmm... interesting!

I made dinner and we ate at 6 pm. It was an Indian food feast - spicy coconut green beans, spicy eggplant, mild yellow lentils, and spicy pineapple slices and a bit of the leftover butter chicken. The boys had brown basmati rice with it. My dinner was around 750 calories and I was so full. For the day then I ended with exactly 1200 calories which is the lowest I've ever eaten (though I've come close a few times). and then, of course, that got me really curious. Was this all because I didn't eat breakfast?

I ate enough for the day. I ate when I was hungry, so how is this a bad way of eating?  I had high energy all day. I felt great. I didn't have any low blood sugar signs and I ended the day feeling full, yet eating a lower number of calories.

I suppose it could be a fluke, but now I am really curious if eating breakfast does me more harm than good. If I'm not ready to eat and I'm not feeling hungry, then why am I eating? Yes, I know there are tons and tons of studies that say eating breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It jump starts the metabolism. And that smaller meals keep things burning all day, etc. There's also studies that say that if you skip breakfast, you'll get fat. But I also know most studies are crap. I think we don't know a lot of about a lot of things. Until very recently all low card diets were seen as harmful.. Now research is finding that maybe they were right. The American Diabetic Association is under fire for the continued recommendations of a high carb diet. Even though my nutritionist when I was pregnant with gestational diabetes told me to stay away from any carbs that spiked my sugar levels and my current doctor told me to eat low carb to try to get my blood sugars back in line. I no longer crave carbs (that's a sign of sugar problems), I no longer get hypoglycemic (another sign of sugar problems) and I feel great. I'm very curious what they'll find in a month with my blood sugars. I bet they'll be fine.

Then there's this whole notion for people with blood sugar issues to keep the sugars normalized that you need to eat all the time. This is probably true if you are taking something to help with blood sugars, but research is beginning to refute the need for anyone else to do that - including those controlling blood sugars by diet alone. Eating continually (3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks a day) means you are continually raising your blood sugars. How is that good? Wouldn't it be better to eat fewer meals, keep them low carb and have fewer hours where the sugars are elevated? I am so wanting to get and will get a blood glucose monitor and strips, because I bet I'm right. If you are eating low carb meals, you shouldn't get spikes in blood sugar ever. And because they are low carb, they take hours to metabolize, feeding your blood stream a constant, slow supply of sugars the body needs. What's different is if I were eating lots of carbs - then I would get sugar spikes. That's where the 5-6 meals a day thing came into play. If I eat a high carb (even complex carb) meal, keep it smaller to control the sugars better, so better to have 6 mini carb bursts than 3 big carb bursts. How does that work with low carb diets? It doesn't.

That of course leads me to looking stuff up on the internet and I found stuff about intermittent fasting. I don't believe all the hoopla about anything - because all studies are grains of truth, but it's an interesting idea too, especially paired with low carb diets. That's basically what I did yesterday, though not knowingly. I fasted for 20 hours (no eating from 6 pm one day until 2:30 pm the next day) and then I had a 4 hour eating window. I felt great, still made very good food choices, still low carb and in the end, needed less calories for the day. Heck, it's now 9:30 am and I haven't eaten since 6:30 pm, so that's already a 15 hour fast and I'm not hungry.

But because there is so little research out there for Intermittent Fasting, I'm afraid to do something that will slow down my metabolism. That I don't want to mess with and for now more research supports breakfast is important and skipping meals is bad, but I'll be keeping an eye on this research because I bet there's more to fasting than we realize because when we look back at all of human kind through the ages - did they graze all day like a cow? or did they eat in bursts more like a dog? I bet we ate more like a dog. (and I'm not talking about dogs in their pampered home environments - but like wolves who have to hunt for their food and scavenge - feast or famine).

Anyway, some interesting thoughts going on in my head!

Stats for 3/16/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now 233.4 (22.2 pounds lost)
Exercise total hours: 68 hours 10 minutes
Walking miles in 2011: 222/1000

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Don't watch Biggest Loser, but this is about the show

This was sent to someone on a forum I belong to from The Biggest Loser show about the upcoming show (or just aired show?). She shared it with all of us as it's so true and a good lesson to learn - the whole idea of perfection in eating, perfection in exercising, perfection in body shape, etc. It's dangerous thinking and we need (I need) to keep my mind wrapped around this always.

Here's the email she received:

Embrace the 80/20 Rule
Why perfectionism can stop you in your tracks

In this week's episode we watch Bob, to his delight, get his hands on contestant Rulon Gardner. It's a thrill for a trainer to work with a former Olympic gold medalist in wrestling, but Bob has some things to teach the ex-champ as well. "For you to get your life back," Bob tells Rulon, "it's going to be about balance. You know extremes. You know zero, and you know 200 mph. You don't know balance."

It's a struggle our Biggest Loser Club weight loss coaches help our members grapple with every day. As Greg Hottinger, RD, and nutrition expert told a BLC member recently, perfectionism is not the road to long-term weight loss success. He urges members to strive for meeting their plan's goals 80% of the time, and to give themselves a little slack 20% of the time. If they follow that principle, over time the weight will come off.

BLC Coaching Moment
"If you've been a perfectionist most of your life," Greg told a BLC member recently, "it's helpful to see where it stops you in your tracks -- if slipping leads to not being able to forgive yourself, which leads to losing momentum and desire to keep making healthier choices, then it's not working. And you may be able to see this clearly on the mental/logical level, but still struggle with it on the emotional level. If this is tough for you, dig deeper to see where this need to be perfect comes from and particularly where the punishment comes from. Is this a familiar childhood feeling?"

Like Rulon, you'll find that neither 0 mph nor 200mph is safe or healthy. What's right for you?

I know I've always been a perfectionist. I think many (most) of us are. When it comes to weigh loss we feel if we have a little miss-step, it means the whole day is ruined. And it's so not true. This weight loss thing is about a lifestyle change and I have to give myself slack for days I don't feel like exercising. Or days I really just want a simple carb, I should allow myself to have those moments to take a day, or have one item. Problem is, and those who have ever dieted or tried to get exercising again or tried to start ANY new good habit, one slip leads easily into another. Missing one day, turns into two. Before you know it, it's been a week since you broke out the sneakers for a walk/run. Maybe that's our fear that keeps us from giving ourselves break days.

So far I've been on plan 95% of the time. With food it's about 99.9%. With exercise about 90% because I count every day I don't do something, as a bit of a failure. I don't believe in needing rest days. Sure, I might need to rest a particular muscle, but that doesn't mean I can't do something else. So far I've missed exercise of some sort once a week (approximately) since I started in January and most of them have been through laziness. I just don't feel like it! But I have to. Just like I have to do dishes and pack my little guy's lunch every day. Some days I go up and beyond what I plan to do, so I give myself credit there, which is why I say I give myself a 90% and not a lower score of 85%.

With food I've been super vigilant. I don't want to give up a calorie for no reason because I feel every calorie I give up, it's a bit of weight loss that I give up, at least temporarily.

When I started this I said it wasn't a race and while I still feel that way, I've gotten greedy for more. With good losses, I feel the hunger for more. I see that I can reach my goal by the year's end if I stick with it. But really, so what if it takes me another 3 months? 6 months? As long as I still get there? I can't convince myself right now that way. If I 'can' eat right every day, then I should. If I don't feel a need for a cheat meal or a several day break in exercise, then why take one?

I know I will take breaks. Like in a bit over a month is my son's birthday. I will eat a slice of birthday cake and I will enjoy it. I will eat normally on any date night my husband and I might take (though I will probably try to pick places that make it easier to eat healthier). Come next Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will enjoy the season and the goodies and deal with the 3-4 pounds gained afterwards. That's life and I still want to live it, but for now... when I'm feeling so on track. I want to give it 100% or very close to it.

Right now I'm at a point that I'm a stay at home mom who cooks her own food and I should be able to do this. By eating low carb (or lower carb, not super low carb), I've eliminated a lot of the cravings I dealt with in the past. I think I can give it my all. But I also have to keep in mind that if I have a day where that cinnamon roll is calling me. Or while out and about, I eat something I normally wouldn't, that it's OK and I should forgive myself. One slip is just one slip. I have control over what I put in my mouth and in the whole scope of things a bad meal, day, weekend, week, or even month, is a blip in the whole change of lifestyle. They will happen. I should plan on them to happen so that when they do, I can move on without guilt, without feeling I've ruined everything. Because if I do this 80% of the time, the weight will come off, the fitness will get better. Yes, slower than at 100%, but I'll get there all the same. I need to remember this when I hit upon rough patches.

And with that, I skipped exercise last night and I do feel a bit lazy and bad about it, but it's one day... following three really good days. So, I need to just leave it at that and start up again tomorrow. Onwards and upwards! Today is a new day. Eating was really good yesterday despite having pizza, I just wasn't very hungry and came in around 1350 calories for the day.  It's that wonderful time of the month again and because of it, I might seem some gains for a few days, but I'm down 1.2 pounds today! We'll see. Mother nature always surprises.

Stats for 3/15/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 233.4

Monday, March 14, 2011

Adjusting to daylight saving time and ramblings

I don't like the daylight saving time, but I do like that when we wake up on Monday at 6:30 am it is already light and when it's evening, it's still light. I would miss it if we didn't have light until nearly 9 pm in summer time. So, this can stay. In winter is when it gets worse. You have more light in the morning, it's true, but then it's dark around 4:30-5pm.  There is time to do NOTHING in winter outside when the daylight saving time ends. So, maybe we should just keep daylight saving time on all year? Of course, I say that but how would I feel if there was no sun in the morning until 8 am? 

But yes, this morning was hard to get up as last night was hard to go to bed! The whole day was a bit off. We woke up 'late' as our bodies haven't adjusted yet, we ate late. Exercise was easier as the 8:30 pm to my body was really 7:30 pm. And because of longer days we were able to take two one mile walks yesterday. One at 2 pm and one at 5 pm - made easier because of longer days.

It was a lazy and relaxed weekend. More homemade Indian food and more homemade bread for the family. Even though I'm no longer eating bread, I really do love making it. Yesterday I made a new whole wheat bread from a new book I picked up, The Village Baker. This book, I've read on several forums, is a must for the baker's bookshelf. Supposedly it's out of print, but there were several books on the bookshelf at the overstock bookstore in our town.  The first attempted recipe from this book seems to have turned out great. I do find bread making utterly fascinating. This recipe starts with a preferment/sponge. It's yeast, water, honey, a bit of oil, and a small portion of the flour. It sits and bubbles up for a couple hours. How many other things can you see grow in front of your very eyes? Bubbles growing and popping every few seconds? So fascinating. Then you add the salt, a bit more water and the remainder of the flour. Again, I'm fascinated as I watch this wet glob of goo turn more and more elastic and smooth as the gluten in the flour develops. This particular bread, despite being 100% whole wheat,  grew so fast and so big. The recipe said it made one small loaf and several rolls or one large one. Well, large isn't the word I would use to describe it. It's HUGE! It filled the entire 12x19 cookie sheeting and is 4-5" tall too! That's HUMONGOUS! And verdict is, it's yummy. That is the first time I've had a 100% whole wheat bread grow like that. My skills are developing as a baker and as they do, it becomes more fun to watch the wonders of bread making. But, I can't eat it! Ha!

Scales are acting wonky. I weigh the same as I did when I went to bed and that just doesn't happen! More sodium? Down to where I was before, but argh!!!! I walked 6.3 miles yesterday and that's what I get as a reward! Oh well, it will come.

Another frustrating thing is measurements - they are not going down in over a month despite losing ten pounds during that time. I can SEE in the mirror that I'm smaller but my measurement points are not where I'm losing the weight. So, the idea of seeing progress in inches isn't working for me either. I have a very large frame, so those inches will come off more slowly than on those with smaller frames, but still! My waist and hips are the same as a month ago. My chest I think is only smaller because it's a different bra. My thighs are the same. Only my arms have lost a wee little bit. Oh well. I know it's happening somewhere and I'll see the losses eventually. Patience Melissa - patience.

Stats for 3/14/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now 234.6
Excercise totals in 2011: 67 hours
Miles walked in 2011: 218/1000

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Meh, I don't want to post today

Yesterday was a good day for eating (1650 calories), a good day for exercise 5.7 miles (2 in the afternoon, 3.7 at night) and I did some push-ups and tried to do some new ab work (planks are not for wimps!). And how do I get rewarded? By gaining a pound. How utterly annoying.

Now, I've felt bloated for the last 15 hours or so, so I shouldn't be surprised, but UGH!!!! I didn't even want to work out last night. I had to talk myself into it - even having to post in a couple places to keep myself accountable. And, my payback is a one pound gain. Doesn't help my mood at all - coupled with it already being 10:30 am when my body knows it's really 9:30 am. (Seriously, when are they going to change that silly daylight savings time thing). Hopefully the spring like weather today will bring me out of the funk the scale put me in today.

And I know why it's bugging me. Supposedly, this is the half of the month I tend to lose more weight. Well, I had a bit of a whoosh in the beginning, but since, a lot of standstill and much of that whoosh was just losing water weight I had built up over several days, getting to previous lows. Only good thing is that the pound gained still has me exactly at 20 lbs lost and not taking that away from me at least.

We are our own worst enemies, aren't we? Well, the good news, this is just making me mad and it's making me to want to push myself harder - not giving up (no way!).

OK, off to breakfast.

Stats for 3/13/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 235.6
Exercise hours: 65 hours.
Walking totals: 211.85/1000 miles
Push-ups: 2 girly sets of 20
Planks for abs: let's not talk about it!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The appetite

I've been logging what I eat for almost two months now. I'm eating a lot towards hunger - not for points or set calorie points. When I look back at the beginning of January, I see I consumed about 1800 calories a day. Sometimes as many as 2000 calories a day. Then, towards the end of that month, no more high days. Actually high days were around 1800 and daily was usually between 1700-1750. And the trend continued with it slowly going down. I now eat about 1600 calories a day with some days of 1500 sprinkled in. So, I am wondering, is my hunger going down? Or did my stomach and gut get used to eating less food overall? My husband says that hunger is primarly based on habit. So, if you are used to eating a lot of calories and big meals, your body gets used to that and adjusts it's hunger needs to your eating lifestyle. As it adjusts to less food, it adjusts it's hunger signals to the new eating lifestyle.

While on some level this makes sense, but don't we get hunger pangs when we are truly hungry and need food, not just when our body is used to being fed? I don't know. I know some people who do intermittent fasting and they don't eat at all until 3 or 4 pm. They wake up in the morning, go to work, exercise, everything a normal person would do, but they don't eat a bite until the get home and they report that after a week, their stomach stops acting hungry until it knows it will start to get food - around the 3 or 4 pm. Also, I've heard anorexics say that they stop feeling hungry. So, maybe hunger pangs are mostly habit.

I guess that's good because as I go lower in weight, the lower my caloric needs will be. I plan to keep exercise in my daily life, so I don't know where my caloric needs will fall, but my body will adapt it's hunger levels it seems.

Stats for 3/12/11:

Beginning Weight: 255.6  Now 234.6
Exercise total hours in 2011: 63 hours
Walking totals in 2011: 206.2/1000

Friday, March 11, 2011

Today seems to be a nicer day!

The sun is out with not  a cloud in the sky this morning. It's a teacher work day, so no school. Hubby took the day off, so no alarm clock, period. And, the tooth fairy made a visit, so I have an excited 5 year old. And the scale didn't bounce back up. All nice!

I'm not sure what our plans are for today. The bigger boys will sleep a bit more, of course and I'll have to hit the grocery store for some more green things and cinnamon! Oh, we need to call about our dishwasher, the soap dispenser is broken, but we have a service contract, so that is at least free. Annoying, but that's it.

I'll see if I can get my older son to take a picture of me today. (and so you know, this is a big deal as I don't like my photo to be taken. Never have.) But even I need to see a difference. I think I've been dropping weight weirdly the last few weeks. It's kind of funny that weight doesn't seem to come off evenly from everywhere. Some weeks it's the waist area, other weeks it's the butt, or the arms and some weeks it must be mostly internal somewhere. For two weeks I've seen no measurement changes, yet my clothes are fitting looser and looser, so I have to be losing, but in the unmeasured places. Like my ankles are looking smaller.

Only other thing is that my husband borrowed a VCR so starting this weekend we will start putting my video cassettes on DVDs so I can finally start doing my old videos. It's good timing too as I've now finished all the big items on the game "Walk it Out" and I'm now getting to the point of just buying all the trees and street lights. There's TONS of those, but they are 70-100 points, not 450-1200 points like the other 50% in the game.

And, I've now walked over 200 miles in 2011!

Stats for 3/11/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now 234.8
Exercise total hours in 2011: 62 hours
Walking totals in 2011: 202.5/1000

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Could the day be any grosser? Vacuum tales and a weight loss moment

I woke up feeling relatively fresh despite only getting 6 hours of sleep (up making cinnamon rolls for my husband to take into work this morning). I felt good this morning, the scale was back down to 235.0 (actually, first reading was 234.6, but I stepped on three more times to get the correct reading). Everyone was up fairly early so we all had breakfast together. My little guy lost his first tooth while eating a cinnamon roll - he bit into it and POP! It flew out of his mouth. He was a bit traumatized, but soon got over it and is now all excited about it.  Then, I had to take the little guy to school. What a miserable, rainy, awful day... and I'm looking at the pools of water collecting outside house and I'm worried about water damage in the basement. We temporarily fixed our gutters, but they are still bent out of shape and just allowing the water to pour out over the top. Ugh.

So, so much for a nice start to the morning. Rainy and dreary AGAIN. Ugh!

But, I do have something kind of interesting/odd to share about yesterday in regards to feelings about weight loss. But, first I have to talk about my new vacuum a bit. I'm kind of in love with it. Yesterday I finally bought a new mini vacuum for the house. I've been looking into it for months, but I finally decided to just buy something before I went crazy with the broom and dustpan at home. Well, I bought the machine, put it together and used it. I fell in love. Seriously, why did I wait so long to get a machine? It did in 5 minutes with no hassle what usually takes me 30 minutes to do. I was a little worried initially with going with the small over the next size up machine as we have a big house, but the only difference is overall weight and size, cord length and the carpet head attachment is smaller (which we don't need as we have a large upright vac), and the dust bin/catcher is a lot smaller. The bigger one is the same price as the smaller one, but weighs 8 pounds more and has a much bigger footprint.

I vacuumed about 500 square feet, not needing to replug the machine and not needing to dump the dust catcher. It was definitely big enough for my needs. And light enough to not be a hassle to carry or to lug up and downstairs. Well, I lifted the unit by the handle and it felt lighter than 12 pounds to me (the weight stated on the box/website).  Then I figured, "Oh, it's 12 pounds for the whole unit - all attachements and everything." So, I got curious as to what the cannister and hose weighed with the main attachment we would normally use. It had to be less than 12 pounds. I first tried just putting the vacuum on the scale, but it wouldn't register. So, I grabbed it, stepped on the scale and weighed me along with the scale. And, I was shocked. I weighed, with heavy clothes, winter weight leather shoes and with the vacuum cleaner, 5 pounds less than I weighed 2 months ago first thing in the morning. It just made me realize how much 20 pounds really is. Then I weighed myself afterwards. 240.5 fully dressed with shoes and midday. So, the vacuum weighs 9 pounds. That's SWEET. And so is realizing that 20 pounds is nothing to sneeze at. It's a drop in the bucket, but it's a heavy drop in the bucket!

Back down to 235.0. So I get the 20 lbs. lost pizza pie again.

Stats for 3/10/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 235.0
Exercise total hours: 61 hours
Walking totals: 198.5/1000 miles

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Toying with ideas

I'm still not down to my previous low, but it is a bit lower than yesterday, so I'll get there. Doesn't help that I took a rest day yesterday from exercise. I was just too tired (fighting off some bug - not getting sick, but feeling fatigued). And it must have been obvious that I was shutting down last night as I left out the milk (fortunately it was almost gone) and I forgot to put the bread on a rack, so the bottom got a bit soggy. Rest was probably a good idea.

Today I might double up on exercise - doing one video and then also doing the Walk It Out game. One in the morning, the other in the evening, breaking it up.

I'm also toying with the idea of continually doing that - walking every day and doing a video on either stretch, or strength, or aerobics, whatever. One in the first part of the day, the other in the evening. Part of it is that it's hard to fit in enough stretch, cardio and strength training in one day and in one sitting (I get bored doing it all at once). I might take a class at the gym. I don't think I'm interested in doing machines. I hate machines.

I'm also really motivated because, if I work hard, I could be at goal weight by my anniversary and definitely could be there by my birthday. I'm about at that pace right now, but it will get harder as I get closer, I know, but I've also done it before -keeping it a steady pace throughout. I figure while I'm not working, I should give it my all and, I know it will help me with job prospects if I look thinner and fitter. Weight discrimination is alive and strong and I know it. I also know attractive people get hired faster and well, I'm a lot more attractive when I'm thin than when I'm tubby.

But I don't want to go overboard and get all crazy. Right now I'm eating about 1600 calories a day and I'm not hungry. I'm eating filling foods that are healthy and yummy (the last few days we've been eating Indian - super yum and it's beans and cheese and veggies. Best of all, my too thin son has been devouring the food too, so I know it's good for all of us). This is not a race, and I don't want to get disappointed in myself if I actually don't meet the goal, but I want to push myself a little bit harder because, at least for right now, I think I can. Wouldn't it be great to celebrate my 18th wedding anniversary at my wedding weight (which is higher than my goal) or even less? To reach my 42nd birthday being really close to my ideal weight? Just spending that year of 42 getting fitter and finding a good maintenance weight for myself?

And now is an easier time to push it a bit - the days are getting longer and warmer and opportunities to do more is everywhere. I can garden (burns tons of calories). I can walk around the lake with my neighbor. I can go to the pools with my kids. I can ride a bike and so on.

Of course, I say this a day after I just took a break and did NO exercise, but those days happen to. I've been averaging 6 days a week and I think that's fine -it's life, really.

My official goal is to lose a pound a week which would put me around 200 for the end of the year. RIght now I'm losing more like 2 lbs a week, which would put me at 175 by October 15th (my anniversary) and that's 15 pounds lighter than when I got married.  I'm not trying to put too much pressure on myself and I will not starve myself to get there, but I think I can push a bit harder and still feel happy and not overly anxious about it. We'll see. I might change my mind next week, but I'm going to try!

Stats for 3/8/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now 236.2

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Too good to be true

I could tell by the scale last night that there was NO WAY I would weigh 235 today. When you go to bed at 239.5, it's pretty hard to lose nearly 5 pounds overnight. If I wouldn't have had that big WHOOSH! today's weight would have been my all time low, so I really can't sweat it. What it means, really, is that it's coming. I just need a little more time. I keep going back and forth in my head if I should leave the 20 lbs lost pizza pie up, or if I should change it back to the ten pounds lost. I think I'll leave it up today. If I see tomorrow that it's not coming back down, then I'll change it. These are big fluctuations and I can't know which ones are real and which ones are too high or too low. But, I'll get there sooner, than later.

Part of the up weight could be what I had for dinner yesterday. I made Indian food! We love Indian and have really missed eating some Indian food. I had gotten a highly recommended cookbook and I tried it out last night. First, I made the pre-cook masala which I need for the base of many dishes in the cookbook. I used that for the Sag Paneer which is a spinach and paneer cheese dish (chunks of pressed farmer's cheese). Next, I made a mung dal. That is a dried, split soybean/mung bean dish - quite tasty! And lastly I made a cauliflower and potato dish. I served basmati rice and store bought naan with it. I skipped the naan and rice, but the rest was DELICIOUS. I don't 'think' anything was out of the ordinary for salt, but maybe it was different enough that my body is holding a bit of water. OR, maybe I was dehydrated yesterday and I'm not today. Who knows.  We'll have leftovers of the dinner tonight except for the cauliflower and potatoes. Instead I'll make a pea and cashew side dish! YUM!

Not much else - I did my normal Walk It Out workout. Only thing I did differently there is that I didn't use any points until the very end of the game and then I had a spending spree of building 15 or so boutiques in the shopping district on the map. 52% done with building the island, with most of the expensive stuff done. It will go faster when I'm just buying trees and streetlights.

Sunny day today and I have to do some laundry, find homes for all the new spices and beans I bought and I need to make some more bread too.

Edited to add: I decided to change the pizza pie. I'll put it back when I've earned (again).
Stats for 3/8/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now 236.6
Exercise total hours in 2011: 60 hours
Walking Totals in 2011: 195.25/1000

Monday, March 7, 2011

Do you notice anything?

Yesterday was just a miserable, rainy day. All I wanted to do was sleep. I think we might be programmed to want to sleep on such days, because really, what can you do on these days? In the end, I did get in my exercise, including the push-ups and crunches even though I didn't want to. My 5 year old did the crunches and push-ups with me. It was good for a giggle at least and it's good for him to grow up realizing that exercise is important, a necessity! Made those strength exercises a bit more tolerable.

And today I hit a double milestone. First, I now weigh what I weighed over a decade ago when I started my last weight loss journey. I wasn't sure how I would feel about hitting that weight, but I think I'm just so ecstatic that the whoosh continues and has taken me to new lows for this journey that I can't have any weird thoughts about how much weight I gained since the last time.

I know most of this big loss in the last couple days have been water pounds. I'm not sure why my body was holding onto water, but I'm going to see if it's a monthly trend, or if it was just some weird bodily readjustment to what I'm doing for eating and exercising. There is just so much we still don't understand about our body functions.

Here is my workout from yesterday: Untitled by berryblondeboys at Garmin Connect - Details

So, did you notice the other milestone I hit? Hint... look at the pizza pie!

Stats for 3/7/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now 235.0
Exercise total hours: 59 hours
Walking totals: 195.25/1000

Sunday, March 6, 2011

And more Whoosh!

Down 18 pounds. It's so good to see the scale moving again. I knew it had to, but it is really, really hard to keep perspective when you are doing everything right and the weight just sticks. And I know a lot of it is water weight this is being shed. Why does my body hold water parts of the month? I could see it in my ankles and now my body is letting it go, along with the fat I am burning. Totally frustrating, even though I know to expect it. Well, I guess I expected to stand still mostly, not to gain 2 pounds - water or not, that's hard to see on the scale!

Two more pounds to hit 20 lbs lost. Woohoo! Then I can finally change my pizza pie to having only six slices!

Today I usually go grocery shopping in Virginia when we go there, but it's POURING today. I don't think I'm going to stop. Who likes carrying grocery bags through the rain and then sitting in the car, soaking wet, for an hour home? Blech!

What else? Oh, I learned how to use Garmin Connect so that I can share my workout stuff. When I do inside stuff, all it really shows is time and heart rate. I tried using the foot pod for walking inside, but it didn't pick up all my steps - only like 60%. When I used the Step, it shows, but if I march in place (for any song over 130 beats per minute), it doesn't pick up the steps. For me though, seeing the heart rate is what pushes me harder. I try to stay out of the 120s completely, and with wearing the watch and changing it to being able to see the heart rate versus just having the zones beep at me, I now consistently keep it above 130 for the overall average. It takes me about 15 minutes to get up to the 130s as I warm up, but then it stays usually between 135-140 for the rest of the workout making my average around 132.  Here is yesterdays workout: Untitled by berryblondeboys at Garmin Connect - Details

And how could I forget, totally unrelated to fitness, I got an iPad! So much easier to stay connected than using my iPhone around the house!

Stats for 3/6/11:

Beginning Weight: 255.6   Now: 237.6
Exercise total hours in 2011: 57 hours
Walking totals in 2011: 189/1000

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Doing a little happy dance!

It's that darn first half and second half of the menstrual cycle again. Ovulation is past and guess what, the weight is finally going down again! Yay! It's really, really hard to do everything right for two weeks and to see so very little loss. But I better get used to it as that's how it is. Now I'm in the fun two weeks, so woohoo! Let the pounds go away!

And I had a really good workout last night. I meant to exercise yesterday afternoon, but I was so tired that I decided I would take a little nap first (something I need to do about once a week to catch up on lost sleep). Well, it wasn't a little nap! I slept for 3 hours and woke up just in time to take my little guy to his Occupational Therapy session! I didn't get to execising until 10 pm. Fortunately, I was still able to go to sleep at midnight. I guess I was tired!

My workout yesterday was one hour of Walk It Out and then followed it up with push-ups and crunches. The last couple days I've been able to push myself a bit more because I learned to set up my watch better to show the heart rate versus just setting zones that would beep at me if I went to low or too high. I'm competitive enough, I guess to push myself over 130 if I see that I'm dipping into the 120s. Anywhere in the 130 beats per minute I can maintain for a long time. It's when I get over 140 that I feel it and can't last long.

I absolute hate doing push-ups and sit-ups, but strength training is important and I need to start somewhere. I did a set of 10 push-ups, rested a couple seconds and then did a set of five with small breaks inbetween until I hit 25 and then I was done for. For crunches, I did 30 straight-on and then took a second or two break and did 10 more. Then I did 40 on each side for obliques for a total of 120 crunches. Amazingly, I'm not sore this morning. I can feel it a bit, but not to the point of being in pain.

Other than that, my blood pressure is getting better and better. I took my BP yesterday late afternoon and it was 116/69 and my resting heart rate was 65. Later, when I was getting ready for exercising, the heart rate monitor gave me 62 bpm. Which means I'm getting fitter. I'll have to start watching my blood pressure a bit more because it might start to go too low. I've had to decrease my medication twice already (40 mg to 30 mg to 20 mg) in the last two months. I'll be so happy when I get to eliminate it completely.

It's a weekend and I'm happy. This was the first full school week for the kids in a bit and I'll be happy to have them home. Little guy has his first birthday party to go to too. He should have fun.

Stats for 3/5/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now: 238.6 (new all time low!)
Exercise hours in 2011: 57 hours
Miles walked in 2011: 186/1000 miles
Push-ups beginning: 15  Now: 25
Crunches beginning: 25  Now: 120

Friday, March 4, 2011

Weight loss is easy, but wait a second...easy? Hmm...

In theory, weight loss is pretty simple and easy to do. You simply just eat a bit less calories than you body 'needs' in a day to maintain weight. You don't need to cut drastically, just a little bit and adding in exercise makes it easier as it burns even more calories (and usually suppresses hunger for awhile). And, if you learn to eat more filling foods that give a lot nutritional punch for a little calories, then it gets even easier. Like what will keep you fuller longer - a 400 calorie brownie or a meal of of 4 ozs piece of chicken, 1-2 cups of veggies (your pick even) over a cup of flax/protein (and tasty) pasta in a very light sauce?

It really is simple and easy to do. Then why is weight loss so difficult for people to keep at it? It's so easy, right? Well, it's mostly easy, but...

Yesterday I was at the mall to walk around and explore what was there. I was beginning to get hungry. First, I bought a water, that helped. Then, in my purse I always keep a nutrition bar. I ate that (130 calories and full of protein and fiber - so it SHOULD hold me for awhile). I made it home to where I made three eggs and mung beans (bean sprouts common in Chinese dishes) for about 460 calorie lunch from the eggs and nutrition bar. If I would have stopped and grabbed a slice of pizza (plain cheese is 459 calories) or a butterless and saltless pretzel (310 calories), I would have gotten less nutritionally and would have still been hungry. One slice of thin crust pizza for lunch? My 3 year old could (and did) eat that slice.

And see, that's where it gets hard and that's where most Americans gain weight. I gather, most people make good choices much of the time. They eat breakfast, they pack their own lunch, they make their own food at home. But, every time they go out to eat, they eat more calories out than they would at home. When someone brings cake or cookies to the office, when it's a birthday, or a holiday, we overeat. Therefore, we tend to gain 5-10 lbs a year, from those simple little extras we just couldn't pass up.

That is where weight loss is difficult. It's not difficult to choose a good breakfast or a good lunch. It's consistently choosing every meal to count, every meal to be a little less than your caloric needs. It's learning to pass up, every time, the snack table. It's learning to not stop at a food court while shopping and so on.

Yes, OK, to lose weight you can have days you have more - life would be horrible if you couldn't have a piece of cake on your birthday. Or enjoy a few goodies over the holidays, but those temptations aren't around just then, they're always around. And saying no almost every time can be very difficult at times. Sometimes, no, it's easy. Sometimes you are feeling good in where you are with your weight loss that you aren't even tempted, but those days aren't every day. On a day with less sleep... you're more tempted. On a day with higher stress... you're more tempted. And on a day you have already allowed yourself to get too hungry, you get tempted to eat more than you need and to eat more calorie rich foods than you need. And, even how your scale is behaving can make you weaker or stronger to passing up temptations. if the scale is cooperating and going down like it should with all the great choices, it's easier to pass up temptations. On days that the scale seems stuck or goes up, it's easier to get in the mindset of "Who cares. I just want to eat!"

Yesterday it was very hard for me to make good choices. I did, but I also could have easily fallen prey to the tantilizing smells of the food court and then would have been angry with myself later for making such a bad choice.

Because I was good, my scale was a bit more agreeable. Still up from where I was, but it is at least going back down and I got a good workout in too.

Stats for 3/4/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6   Now: 240.2
Exercise totals in 2011: 56 hours
Walking totals in 2011: 183/1000 miles