This was sent to someone on a forum I belong to from The Biggest Loser show about the upcoming show (or just aired show?). She shared it with all of us as it's so true and a good lesson to learn - the whole idea of perfection in eating, perfection in exercising, perfection in body shape, etc. It's dangerous thinking and we need (I need) to keep my mind wrapped around this always.
Here's the email she received:
Embrace the 80/20 Rule
Why perfectionism can stop you in your tracks
In this week's episode we watch Bob, to his delight, get his hands on contestant Rulon Gardner. It's a thrill for a trainer to work with a former Olympic gold medalist in wrestling, but Bob has some things to teach the ex-champ as well. "For you to get your life back," Bob tells Rulon, "it's going to be about balance. You know extremes. You know zero, and you know 200 mph. You don't know balance."
It's a struggle our Biggest Loser Club weight loss coaches help our members grapple with every day. As Greg Hottinger, RD, and nutrition expert told a BLC member recently, perfectionism is not the road to long-term weight loss success. He urges members to strive for meeting their plan's goals 80% of the time, and to give themselves a little slack 20% of the time. If they follow that principle, over time the weight will come off.
BLC Coaching Moment
"If you've been a perfectionist most of your life," Greg told a BLC member recently, "it's helpful to see where it stops you in your tracks -- if slipping leads to not being able to forgive yourself, which leads to losing momentum and desire to keep making healthier choices, then it's not working. And you may be able to see this clearly on the mental/logical level, but still struggle with it on the emotional level. If this is tough for you, dig deeper to see where this need to be perfect comes from and particularly where the punishment comes from. Is this a familiar childhood feeling?"
Like Rulon, you'll find that neither 0 mph nor 200mph is safe or healthy. What's right for you?
I know I've always been a perfectionist. I think many (most) of us are. When it comes to weigh loss we feel if we have a little miss-step, it means the whole day is ruined. And it's so not true. This weight loss thing is about a lifestyle change and I have to give myself slack for days I don't feel like exercising. Or days I really just want a simple carb, I should allow myself to have those moments to take a day, or have one item. Problem is, and those who have ever dieted or tried to get exercising again or tried to start ANY new good habit, one slip leads easily into another. Missing one day, turns into two. Before you know it, it's been a week since you broke out the sneakers for a walk/run. Maybe that's our fear that keeps us from giving ourselves break days.
So far I've been on plan 95% of the time. With food it's about 99.9%. With exercise about 90% because I count every day I don't do something, as a bit of a failure. I don't believe in needing rest days. Sure, I might need to rest a particular muscle, but that doesn't mean I can't do something else. So far I've missed exercise of some sort once a week (approximately) since I started in January and most of them have been through laziness. I just don't feel like it! But I have to. Just like I have to do dishes and pack my little guy's lunch every day. Some days I go up and beyond what I plan to do, so I give myself credit there, which is why I say I give myself a 90% and not a lower score of 85%.
With food I've been super vigilant. I don't want to give up a calorie for no reason because I feel every calorie I give up, it's a bit of weight loss that I give up, at least temporarily.
When I started this I said it wasn't a race and while I still feel that way, I've gotten greedy for more. With good losses, I feel the hunger for more. I see that I can reach my goal by the year's end if I stick with it. But really, so what if it takes me another 3 months? 6 months? As long as I still get there? I can't convince myself right now that way. If I 'can' eat right every day, then I should. If I don't feel a need for a cheat meal or a several day break in exercise, then why take one?
I know I will take breaks. Like in a bit over a month is my son's birthday. I will eat a slice of birthday cake and I will enjoy it. I will eat normally on any date night my husband and I might take (though I will probably try to pick places that make it easier to eat healthier). Come next Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will enjoy the season and the goodies and deal with the 3-4 pounds gained afterwards. That's life and I still want to live it, but for now... when I'm feeling so on track. I want to give it 100% or very close to it.
Right now I'm at a point that I'm a stay at home mom who cooks her own food and I should be able to do this. By eating low carb (or lower carb, not super low carb), I've eliminated a lot of the cravings I dealt with in the past. I think I can give it my all. But I also have to keep in mind that if I have a day where that cinnamon roll is calling me. Or while out and about, I eat something I normally wouldn't, that it's OK and I should forgive myself. One slip is just one slip. I have control over what I put in my mouth and in the whole scope of things a bad meal, day, weekend, week, or even month, is a blip in the whole change of lifestyle. They will happen. I should plan on them to happen so that when they do, I can move on without guilt, without feeling I've ruined everything. Because if I do this 80% of the time, the weight will come off, the fitness will get better. Yes, slower than at 100%, but I'll get there all the same. I need to remember this when I hit upon rough patches.
And with that, I skipped exercise last night and I do feel a bit lazy and bad about it, but it's one day... following three really good days. So, I need to just leave it at that and start up again tomorrow. Onwards and upwards! Today is a new day. Eating was really good yesterday despite having pizza, I just wasn't very hungry and came in around 1350 calories for the day. It's that wonderful time of the month again and because of it, I might seem some gains for a few days, but I'm down 1.2 pounds today! We'll see. Mother nature always surprises.
Stats for 3/15/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 233.4
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