Monday, November 21, 2011

Holy crap! I did it!!!!

Not only have I lost 80 pounds now and taken away all the pizza slices. I've lost 100 pounds from my highest weight ever. Ok, 101 pounds!!!

In 2001-2003 I ballooned up to 275. To let you see how out of control I felt with that weight gain (went from about 185 to 275 very quickly), I would say to myself, "Well, at least I'm not 300 pounds." Not, "Oh my god - how did I get up to 275?"

I lost about 30 pounds very quickly when we were moving as I stopped eating in the college cafeteria and was making wiser choices. In the following year I gained 20 of it back and got to 265. At 265 I got pregnant.

During pregnancies I lose weight and this time was the same - 6 weeks post partum I weight 238. Within a year, it was back up to 265. I wasn't trying to control my weight, but for years it stayed stable at 265.

Then we moved again - I got more active and then I dropped to 255ish. But for that year, I actually was trying to keep it at or below 255.   I didn't work for those 10 pounds lost - they just happened with all the painting, packing, etc, but I did try to keep the scale steady. And I did that for a year.  It was like I was testing myself to see if I could maintain a weight loss. Remember, I went from 235 to 185 in about 7 months when I did my only other big weight loss, but then gained 185 to 275, 90 pounds, in 3 years!!! I was scared, really scared that losing weight again (and I had done it the same then as I did now - minus lowering my carbs) that I would gain it all back plus MORE if I seriously tried to lose weight again. I lost complete control for that time and I never quite figured out why... so fear of trying again prevented me from doing anything. Until my health fell apart.

This past year I was on a mission. I wanted to get my health in order. I wanted to get my weight in order. I wanted to become more fit. I felt 175 was an attainable weight for me. I had gotten to 185 before. Couldn't I do 10 more pounds? Especially since I felt I wasn't done last time? And so, I set the lofty goal of losing 80 pounds in 2011. I said I would be happy with 50 as 50 didn't sound 'tooooo hard'. 50 would be about 1 pound a week, but secretly, I wanted to get to 175 and 80.6 pounds lost. I wanted to know/feel that I had lost 100 pounds from my highest. I wanted to know and feel that I was at my high school graduation weight - a weight I have never been since graduating high school.

And I did it. I woke up today to see 174 on the scale. Unbelievable. And my husband says he can see the last 10 pounds too. I feel trimmer and look trimmer which makes sense as more and more of the fat is revealing muscle and bone.

Now, I'm not done with this journey. I don't think I'll ever be done because thinking I'm done is dangerous. I will continue doing what I'm doing and I'll set my new target for 165. I think that weight is attainable now if I keep eating how I'm eating and exercising how I'm exercising. I have no goal for a date to accomplish this buy, but with my motivation still so high right now, I'll keep pressing on and hope to get there by March or April. Three to four months should do it - even when I count in all the holidays. After 165... well, that would be vanity pounds.

I think anyone who knows me and sees me in real life can see that I'm getting really close to a really good weight - even if it does sound like a high number - 174 now and 165 for a new goal. I'm just not built like a small or medium built person. I know so many obese people say that - but in my case, I swear, it's really true!

Oh, and remember that dress I wanted so badly this summer and I eventually found it on clearance at TJMaxx? That one with the fall print colors? I wore that yesterday to the fall festival and to the Nutcracker ballet performance and it's getting too loose! It's still good for now, but it will need to be taken in if I lose 10 pounds more. And I WILL take it in as I adore that dress.

And, if I lose 10 pounds more, I can the fit comfortable into size 10s. Right now the 12s are getting loose and many 10s are a bit snug (but getting closer and closer). It would be nice to fit in clothes comfortably at the correct size. And gasp, perhaps size 8s??? (OMG!!!!)

That dress I wore yesterday is a 14 (but they run small). I could use it in a 12 and if I lose more - into a 10. AND if I fit into all 10s comfortably, that will mean I dropped from a tight 20 at 275 (they were loose at 255, but 18s were very snug) to a comfortable 10 at 165. 6 pant sizes down. Size 8 isn't even in my dreams, though I might get there!

Oh, and I wore a new bra yesterday as the 36" bands are getting too loose. I wore a 34" band yesterday. I haven't done that since I was 16 I think! (But my cup size is bigger - I was stuffing myself into smaller cup sizes as I couldn't find the larger sizes I needed back then in small town Iowa. And stuffing myself into a too small cup size meant I needed the extra band width to accommodate the girls).  And while I feel I've lost some of the girls - the cup size is the same when the band is the right size. Went from a 40G to a 34G. Yep, I remain chesty... I can see that in the gym most of all - almost always the chestiest woman there!Which reminds me, I need new workout bras too as they are not tight enough any more either. This journey has been expensive, but so worth it. In the end, it will save us so much more money than the investment in a new wardrobe!

So, yep. I made it!!!!

Stats for 11/21/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 174.0 (down 81.6 pounds)

1 comment: