Saturday, November 5, 2011

Feelings about weeding through my clothes

My bedroom has looked like an explosion has gone off in it for months. In the closet and drawers are all my old clothes and on top of the long dresser and end table are all my new clothes in my current size. I finally found the motivation to sort through the old stuff - well, at least making an initial step of going through it all. I still have to write it all down for charity so we can get a tax receipt.

Much of the stuff is worn out mom clothes - stained shirts, pants with missing buttons or seams that were pulling apart - nothing to really think about it with getting rid of. Some of it is decent stuff, but I don't have any real attachment to it. Then there are the silly sweatshirts from universities I used to work for. They are all huge. There is no way I could wear them now and not like I wore them much anyway, but it is a bit sad to get rid of them - but space in the drawers would be much appreciated!

Then there were the things that I loved and bought when I was much heavier. None of them are worth altering, but it was a bit sad as I remember the special occasion they were bought for and I felt so special in it... Of course, those things look huge now, but still, it's an era gone by.

Then there were some things I weeded out - all those saved items from when I lost weight before - I never got to wear them again. I am now smaller than all of those clothes and I got to the size of those clothes at a different time of year from when I was able to wear them before, so I never even got to wear them. How's that for ironic? Saved to be used again when I got thinner - saved for 14 years and then when I get to that size, it's the wrong season and then I get too small for them. Huh...

And then there were the clothes I felt bad about. I wore then for a month or maybe two - all my summer workout clothes (the bottoms) are too big. I was so excited to get to that size and then I passed them up by the end of the summer. Now, I didn't spend a fortune on these items and many were even from Goodwill, but still, it feels a bit wasteful to give away clothes after wearing them for one season only.

In the end, I had this huge pile on the bed of items that no longer fit. They filled four laundry baskets - heaping way over. There were sizes 20, 18, 16,  and 14 and even a couple very large size 12s. Most of it was size 20s and 2X shirts as that's the size I was forever, but there were all those inbetween sizes too.  I even tried with a couple shirts and sweaters to see if there was any way to wear them but a 2X hangs on me when many of my sweaters are now size Large and even a few mediums.

And then, of course, there is that little worry in the back of my head - what if I don't keep this weight off... but it was only a little worry. Gaining the weight really isn't an option. I have to stay fit and keep this weight off.

Speaking of staying fit, I did bodypump today. I was a bit worried for my neck, but I paid very close attention to my form and my neck feels fine - thank goodness. I was also a bit worried that the weights would feel too heavy, but I kept the same weight on the bar as when I last did body pump 3 weeks ago and I was able to do it - was a bit tougher and had to skip a couple reps, but not many and I know next time I'll be able to do them all like before. It felt good to be back in class too as I really do love strength training. I also took a walk later in the day on this gorgeous fall day.

It's been a lovely fall day!

Stats for 11/5/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 180.8
Total number of hours walked: 857/1000

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