Saturday, August 20, 2011

So, when will I hit my initial goal? The future and my physical flaws.

I decided to look at my progress the last few months as I've slowed down. Seems, for now, I'm losing about 5-6 pounds a month. So far for this month I'm at 4 pounds and I have one week left until I stall out. If I can manage this month to get to 5 pounds lost and just 4 pounds a month (or roughly a pound a week) for the next three months, that will get me just past my goal by my birthday. When I set that goal, I thought it was ambitious and said I would be happy with losing jut 50 pounds in a year (well 50 weeks), but now it looks like I really could make it to 80 pounds lost if I just keep doing what I'm doing.

I know that this is not where I will end. My body will decide on where it will settle. I'll just continue to eat lower carb and to exercise 5-6 times a week and see where that takes me. It might be 170, 160, 150. Who knows and I'm not going to stress about it. But... now that I've lost over 65 pounds this journey, I can see that I have a lot more blubber on my body than just 15 pounds (which I knew would be the case, of course). But I don't know how much more fat there is for real. Especially since my skin is still looser with fat layers attached.  That could take 2-3 years to tighten up to it's end point even if I don't lose an ounce more after my goal. So, it's hard to look at my body and know how much is skin and how much is fat.

My guess is that I can get to 165 fairly easily if I keep up the exercising. Not sure beyond that and I'm not going to go crazy trying to get to some magical number on the scale. It's more I'm curious where my body will feel 'ok' to settle based on my frame size, height, activity level and so on. It's a mystery.

What I have been doing recently, which I never have done is to look at women's body's around me at the gym especially. I' curious about these fit women. We really do come in all shapes and sizes. Three of my instructors this week were bigger built and had some weight on them, but no one would deny they are fit, fit, fit. One, is big all over (spinning instructor). She weighs over 200 for sure, but you can also see her legs and arms are solid muscle, but she has some fluff in her tummy. Another, step instructor, is thin everwhere, but has a stomach on her - not like my gut, which is below the belt level, but hers is more like a pregnant belly - above and below the belly. Not very big, but there. Another instructor is smaller on top, but has quite a bit of extra in her hips and butt (one of the bodypump) teachers. Then the ladies in the class - they are all shapes and sizes. Some are very, very thin and very fit. Some are athletically built. Others have trouble spots - but they rock the fitness. It's really, really interesting to see how nearly everyone has areas of their bodies they probably aren't happy with. And I'm not saying that to be super critical. I'm taking note of these things to help me realize that hardly any of us are perfect and that's OK.

I say that when I stare at my lower gut. I have had problems with my gut since I hit my teens. I think it must be genetic. It's never been flat - ever. And even now with all the toning I'm doing, its a big rounded ball. Even before I gained an ounce of weight - I had that rounded abdomen - hard as a rock, but not flat. I know I will never be rid of it. Especially at 41. Especially after being so heavy. Especially with it just being my weak spot. Sure, I can work on it and tone more, but I need to accept my flaws - not get discouraged about them. And remember that we all have spots we wish we could improve. I will not be a bikini model, or any model. But I can be a healthier Melissa and that's all that really matters.

OK... need to get moving on the day! BodyPump in an hour and a bit. Oh, and did bodystep yesterday and it felt great. So much better than the last couple weeks. I was able to do more of the cross training elements - the most ever, so yes... I am continuing to build strength.

Stats for 8/20/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 188.6 (67 pounds lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 248
Total miles walked in 2011: 702/1000

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