Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Really scared myself last night

I have had very, very few days or hours of feeling out of control, but I did last night and man, I hate that!

I spent the day yesteday with my mentee, she got here about noon (I thought she might get here sooner). We made a couple Pom-Pom snowmen, we made spritzer cookies and then we made some ribbon candy ornaments out of ribbon. I had one tiny cook to see if they turned out ok and I had my normal lunch of an apple and peanut butter, but then had four pieces of bajadera (a Croatian confection) I then went to take her home. While in Virginia, we went to Chipotle and I made good choices there. I got it in a bowl, no flour tortilla. I got brown rice instead of white, I got black beans, no sour cream and kept it simple - about 640 calories which is pretty good for an out to eat dinner.

But then, after I dropped her off, I just needed something sweet. I went to get some gas for the car and next to the gas station was a McDonald's. I went and ordered a large peppermint mocha coffee and two holiday pies. Why did I do that?? I had just eaten dinner and I wasn't hungry!

Then I went shopping. I so rarely get to Virginia without kids, so I went to Tyson's Galleria which is an upscale mall. First I went to Sur La Table. Then Williams Sonoma and then Anthropologie. I found a couple things at Williams Sonoma I have been wanting on a big sale, nothing in Sur La Table but then I went to drool at Anthropologie. I can't afford that store, but I love it. I looked through their clearance/sale racks and they didn't have much in my size. I grabbed a couple size 8s and I will never fit into that size at tht store unless I didn't have breasts. We're talking 5-6" too tight around the chest. But when I was standing there in the dressing room in my skivvies, I just felt enormous. My gut is truly huge... I must have gained 4" yesterday in my abdomen. And I was so disgusted with myself. I have come so far and I know this is a life long journey, so why???

I ended up not getting any clothes from there, but got this super cute cookie server for $20! (later saw it retailed for $158. It wasn't labeled and I think the sale's associate just saw it was dirty and been on the floor forever, so she just basically gave it away - helps that it was nearly closing time I think.)

So, that is how I ended my day. Not good. But... I didn't feel defeated for long. This is my choice and if I want to do better, I need to do things to make it easier to make it better. Like get better sleep. So, I went to bed and got a full night of sleep. And, this morning I got myself signed up for another fitness class. I have one class tonight and one tomorrow morning. And I made sure to make good breakfast choices this morning. And I feel much better and more in control. I just have to remember my triggers - lack of sleep, lack of exercise, and too much sugar all lead to bad decisions. Fixing those things leads to better decisions.

So... There you are. No more further damage on the scale at least.

Stats for 1/3/12:

Highest weight: 275. Now: 185.6
Total hours exercised in 2012: 0/250

P.S. seems fitting that last year I didn't get to starting excise until the 3rd of January and this year is the same. Looking forward to it tonight though!

1 comment:

  1. Ah, we all have those days. The important part is that you picked yourself right up afterwards, got back to the gym and started eating right immediately. That's the true sign of success. ;)