Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The feelings when someone loses faster than you

I am sure anyone who is losing weight, has lost weight or even plans to lose weight can relate to this. And I don't know if it's our competitive nature or our own self-critical minds, but it bugs a lot of us when we have to face the fact that someone (many someones perhaps) have lost weight faster and better than we did or are doing.

I belong to a weight loss forum and have been there about a year. Hmmm.... I should look up that anniversary date! Anyway, since I've been there for awhile, I have seen people come and go. I have seen some people reach goal and a lot more some bodies give up and lots of people like me still chugging along. With almost everyone, myself included, the beginning weight comes off the fastest. Remember when I was losing 14 pounds a month? And the last weight comes off more slowly. By that time though, you have momentum and progress on your side, so you can usually dig in and find the determination to keep going for it, but the mental game gets harder and that is when a lot of people quit.

But a lot of us don't quit. So, we keep doing our best and soon you see that you a passing by other people who have been losing weight longer than you and you feel great. You might have thoughts in your head like, "Wow, I didnt think I would ever be as small as 'Mary' and now look, I weight less than she does!" (notice I'm not feeling like I'm better, but that I'm amazed at my own progress) and then there will be people who started after you and weighed more than you and then they pass you by. You remember weighing weigh less than they did and now they weight less than you and you think, "Gee, maybe I'm not doing enough if someone caught up with me and surpassed me?" or "I guess I'm not doing so hot if people are losing better than I am. What am I doing wrong?"

We get caught up in our thoughts and since this long term weight loss journey is mostly a head game, it can undo you. I was just reading about someone reaching goal yesterday and I am completely thrilled for this person. She did it by calorie counting and exercising, just like I am doing. In 1.5 years she lost over 180 pounds. That floored me. It's taken me a year to lose 80 pounds and I've been trying for the last month just to get back to that 80 pounds after just a few days of indulgences made me gain a ton of weight. She ran circles around me in how fast the weight came off and it deflated me for a second. I felt it diminished what I have been doing.

But, it doesn't. There is no race to the finish. There is no "she is better" "I am better" business with weight loss. So many things come into play. Age, health, determination, diet, etc. Some people take off only a pound or two a month, losing ever so slowly, but guess what? They are getting there all the same! Just like some of us gained quickly, some of us gained slowly. The loss will be the same.

That woman who lost over 180 pounds in a sensible way had more determination than me. Had more stick-to-it-iveness that I did and good for her! But that doesn't mean that I should frown on my weight loss speed or method. Or at anyone who is moving more slowly than I am moving. It is an individual battle and some people's battles are mo difficult than others and have more obstacles.

So, I am saying this for myself and for others who might feel discouraged now or again about their speed of weight loss. Just do YOUR best. Don't compare. Don't get caught up in the mind game, because if you a losing or maintaining a loss, you are already doing better than the average!

And I say is on a day I gained .8 pounds overnight. Sigh. We went out to lunch yesterday and even though I was under for calories in total yesterday, sodium or something must have been sky high. It happens.

Stats for 1/24/12:

Highest weight: 275. Now: 175.8

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