Thursday, January 26, 2012

Getting used to this body of mine

It is definitely an adjustment from going from 275 pounds to 174 pounds, 81 of those pounds in the last year. I am still amazed at how small my clothes look before putting them on and I'm still amazed they fit without a struggle to put them on. And I'm amazed when I got to a fitness class that I'm not the fattest one in class any more.

When I went to yoga the other day, the instructor knew I was newer (and struggling) but she said, "I can tell you do other exercise. Are you a runner?" She could see by looking at me (or maybe it was my fitness clothes) that I am not a novice to fitness any more... though my head still tends to go to the "it must be the clothes, not that my body looks fit".

And, I notice the second looks in the store from men - even with my hair in a pony tail and no make-up on. I'm not all dolled up - but in my normal mom attire, but I guess I look better, more attractive, even au natural and at 42 years old.

It's amazing, and it's making me more determined to keep going for more. At this point even, it's not even about the weight loss. That will be a consequence of getting more fit. I just want to be more fit. I want to power through a workout at the same intensity as I see those fitness mavens in class. For once in my life, I want to feel strong and fit and healthy.

But I am beginning to get used to some of it. I went shopping yesterday - mostly just trying on clothes as I don't really need anything. It's a test of sorts to see how I'm doing. I can eyeball a pair of pants and know if they will fit or not. Same with dresses. Yesterday I took back to the dressing room, 3 pairs of pants and 3 dresses. One dress was a size 8 and the other two were 10s (one being the same as the 8). The pants were two 8s and one 10. The size 8 dress fit perfectly. So perfectly, in fact, that I bought it. It's a good spring dress that will look good even 15 pounds down as it's a jersey knit dress. I could tell by looking that I should try the 8 first... Yep. I didn't even need to try the 10. And with the pants, the two 8s fit and the 10 fit.

I've gotten to the point now that I think that 14s look big. Oh, how I remember when I would longingly look at a 14 and dream of being able to fit into it. So, I'm glad I'm beginning to see the thinner me - that my mind is beginning to catch up with the body, but it's still shocking at times. I probably will be continued to be shocked as I lose the last bit of weight. 14 more pounds to go until I reassess.

Stats for 1/26/12:

Highest weight: 275 Current weight: 174.0
Total hours worked out in 2012: 16.5/250

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