Monday, June 18, 2012

Reflecting on being 42.5

Well, technically that date was a bit over a week ago, but it didn't hit me that I'm now in the second half of my birth year.

I got to thinking about where I am in the 42nd year when I realized I might be dealing with menopause (or I reallllly miscalculated when I ovulated).  I realized that my father died around 42.5. Sadly, I don't remember exactly when he died. I just remember it was the fall. When someone isn't a part of your life, noting the exact date of that missing someone's death isn't etched in your brain for life. Then there's the fact that it's been nearly 20 years! Things really spiraled around that time. My father died - I was reeling somewhat as I had so many questions of "WHY???" and "HOW???" I was angry. Then, like a week or two after my father died, someone I always looked up to as a father figure and wished he was my father instead of the one I had, hit on me, made a sexual pass and that was just AFTER I had told him about my dad dying. And then he shared some personal information about himself that made me thankful he wasn't my father. So, I lost my deadbeat dad and my idolized "wish he could have been my father" man in a couple weeks time. Ironically, I met my to be husband a couple weeks after that. I think we hit it off so well, so quickly, because I let my guard down. I needed to confide in someone and well, he was there and it helped us form a very quick and tight bond from the beginning. He helped me sort out my feelings as a friend.

So, here I am, at the age my father died. My weight is steady. My blood pressure is good (off meds again). I'm fit and active and I have totally changed my lifestyle around. When we were at the bay a couple days ago and we were waiting for the cars behind us to move so we could leave, I was watching the owners of the home bustling about putting stuff away (with a lot of help - and yes, we helped some too, but we also had a very sleepy 7 year old in the car at 9:30 pm and an hour drive to get home).  I was looking at the owners and realized - I want to be like that at that age. They are both in their 70s. The man is, I think, 79. She is 70 something. They are fit and active and on the go and they always have been. I contrast that to my mother in law who gets winded going up a flight of stairs so she avoids the stairs. She doesn't do any physical work and complains about poor sleeping habits and not feeling good and it's all because of a lifelong habit of not moving.

That could have been me! Just slowly getting less strong and less able. The key is moving! Always moving and being active - in whatever way - walking, gardening, swimming, running, lifting weights, yoga. Whatever trips your trigger, but MOVEMENT is key to a healthy, long life. Sure, so is weight management, but active people have less problems with weight too.

Just as I was approaching my 40th birthday and felt so horrible, I didn't think I wanted to live a long life as I was tired and worn out. I just wanted to live long enough to raise my kids - that's it. Now, with being healthy and fit (and a mostly fixed thyroid issue), I want to live a long and active life and I see a way to make it possible (barring things like cancer).

So much is in my control that I didn't really give much thought to. It's up to me on how I exit this world to a large degree and I don't have to view my senior citizen years as years of pain and suffering like I've witnesses around me much of my life. I look around me now with all these original home owners living around us since the beginning of the community - 45 years - all around or over 80 now and they are healthy and strong because they are active.

I might have started being active and fit late in the game, but I don't think it was too late.

Stats for 6/18/12:

Highest weight: 275  Now: 170.2

No comments:

Post a Comment