Friday, June 15, 2012

I'm 42 and I think it's finally happening

The first true signs of menopause.  My mother was completely through menopause sometime between 42 and 43. I'm exactly 42 and a half years old.  (Hmmm... which will lead to another age related post tomorrow).

Up until now, I haven't seen much in signs of menopause approaching. I thought I was about 18 months ago as I would get hot flashes around ovulation, but turns out that must have been thyroid issues, because as soon as my thyroid got in a better range of hormones, the hot flashes stopped.

I get my monthly visitor every month and every month I have signs of ovulation. It's getting more difficult to detect ovulation, but like clockwork, I get my menstrual cycle.

Well, this month has been different from the get go. First, I dropped weight in the first half of the cycle which I never do. And while I did gain as if ovulation was coming, it never spiked and then dropped. On top of that, I was eating more poorly, so it was harder to tell what was causing the spikes in weight. One thing for sure was that I didn't see a 'whoosh' like I usually do.

It is now 18 days past what I thought was ovulation and my period is nowhere in sight? Pregnant you ask? Not possible unless you all really believe in immaculate conception. At least I don't need to worry about that!

I'm either experiencing my first known anovulatory cycle (they actually happen a lot more than people realize) or my thyroid is really messed up and is messing with my cycle. I tend to believe the first of the two because even when my thyroid was way off the charts bad, I was still cycling normally.

My mom said for her that it just stopped - just like that. No irregular cycles. Just one month she had periods and the next months she didn't. For that year, at least, she would cycle a couple times when my sister and I were home for college during Christmas and spring break. Those pheromones in the air I guess were enough to get her body to jump start a cycle or something (this phenomenon of women's cycles aligning is super fascinating), but basically it all just stopped.

While I hate dealing with cycling - the moods, the hormones, the hassle. I also know that it's better for my health if I cycle longer. Of course, noncycling doesn't mean that all hormone production has stopped. It's just not enough to cycle. It will be years and years before the ovaries stop functioning, but still.

Right now it's ver odd. I've been dealing with my monthly cycle for 28 years and only stopped while being pregnant and early months of nursing. I'm a bit nervous - like I could start bleeding any minute, so I'm wearing a protective layer 'just in case' it starts.

And it's an odd feeling. I don't want to be "that old" yet. I don't want to know psychologically that I'm past child-bearing age. I feel too young for that.

And it seems getting healthy and such didn't have much bearing on when all this was going to happen. Seems, for now at least, it's following my mother's pattern almost exactly.

I guess if it's going to happen, I can be hopeful it will happen without all the hormonal hoopla that will drove me and my family nuts.

Stats for 6/15/12:

Highest weight: 275  Now: 168.6

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