The weirdest thing for me about losing this weight is discovering the me that has been under this fat all these decades. At 165 (well, now 168 with hormonal water weight), I am seeing a face I haven't seen in almost 30 years. It's aged, of course, but I was this weight about the age of 16 and even then I think my face was rounder - which makes sense because I was still growing and filling out. I was more fat then at this weight than I am now at this weight.
So, I look at myself in the mirror sometimes, and especially see it in pictures and I get a bit shocked at this long oval face. Wasn't I a round faced person? And maybe it's not a long face, but it looks long to me because it's not as wide as it used to be.
Last night my mother in law wanted to take a photo of me looking all nice. She is leaving on a trip today to go to visit family and this particular family member hasn't seen me since I weighed 265. And hasn't seen photos. She can't quite believe that I've lost all that weight that my mother in law (and this family member's son) have said I've lost. So, my mother in law wanted to take a photo of me to show how "perfect" I look now. This is the photo she took last night (click to enlarge):
I had a spring party to go to last night for work, so it gave her a good chance to get a photo of me looking about the best I can look (and not how I normally look). I'm usually donning a pony tail and I'm without make up and in mommy clothes.
While I can step back and look at this photo and see that I look pretty good - especially when I compare to higher weights. I can even see that my face has slimmed down in the 9 pounds since the latest profile shot was taken (174 there and 165 here). However, I can also nitpick. I see that I can still see the sock lines on my ankles (holding water - those lines were still visible 5 hours later!). I can see my arms have fat (which is a lot of loose skin too) and my tummy isn't flat (and again, a lot of it is loose skin) and my waist isn't as defined as I would like it to be. Look how I can find flaws SOOOOO easily! Much more easily than finding positives and I know I'm not unusually in doing that to myself either!
The positives I see are: I have thin ankles, I do have a shape, I look natural, and I look better than when I weighed more. And yes, my face is thin - and less round than I thought!
Wondering what toning up will do for me and how much the extra skin will 'defat' as I go along with this journey.
Stats for 5/16/12:
Highest weight: 275 Now: 168.0
YOU LOOK GREAT! I love a good red dress :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely enjoy learning new things about myself.
I think you look fantastic! And if it makes any difference, I didn't even pause on your ankles. Not noticeable at all to anyone but you ;)
ReplyDeleteI have been kind of shocked to see an oval face, too. I figured my face was more round, but it turns out it was just fat instead of bones. Happy days for both of us!