Why was I so afraid of failure that I didn't start? Because now I'm started and it's easy. I watch what I eat, avoid simple carbs and exercise every day. I'm not suffering. Actually I feel great for doing something for me!
I know I'm not alone in that. Just read a post from a gal who lost 110 pounds only to regain 85 of it 2 years later and she's at the same point...afraid to start again, if it means she might ultimately fail.
There is legitimacy there - for sure. Everyone sees the failure AND it's usually worse (gaining more back than you lost). I've been there and done that, for sure. But I also think you learn things about yourself on that journey. I now know that I can never go back to eating simple carbs, period. And exercise has to take priority over almost everything else and with no babies in the future, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to do it if I don't get an injury, and if I do, let it heal and start again.
I just can't ever say, "I failed", but instead say, "I'm always trying to make better choices". And I stumble, to not stop looking at the scale, to not stop being honest with myself.
Right now I feel very positive about what I'm doing. I know there will be times I will not, so, having this blog, hopefully, will remind me WHY I'm doing it and why I need to keep on fighting. Giving up is not an option, ever.
Stats for 1/30/11:
- * Weight: Beginning: 255.6 Now: 248.6 lbs
- Body Fat: Beginning: 49.8% Now: 47.6%
- Body Water: Beginning: 37.5% Now: 33.6%
- Muscle Mass: Beginning: 118 lbs Now: 123.4 lbs
- Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): Beginning: 1866 Now: 1888 calories
- Metabolic Age: Continually 50 - their oldest age to show
- Bone Mass: Beginning: 6.4 lbs Now: 6.6 lbs
- Walked it Out/walking totals: 81.2 miles
- Exercise total: 25:40 hours