Joined a weight loss forum - the different types of weight loss

I rejoined a weight loss forum, one I had joined 13 years ago and left 12 years ago. I don't recall my user name (who knows if it is still in the system) and while it is great in many ways and most people are trying to lose weight sensibly, I also see so many things I don't think are healthy. People on starvation diets. People taking pills. People just going too extreme in whatever diet they chose. I've been there. I did the restricted calorie thing with lots of exercise in college. It was great for a couple months until I felt I was so famished... gained all that weight back in a couple months. And I won't even look at the subcategory for people taking pills or doing experimental drugs. And, I won't look at the surgery options either. Not that I haven't been tempted by surgery. Oh boy, have I been tempted, but I can't do it. At least not until I give this my best shot. "If" for some reason I cannot get this weight thing under control the normal way, I'll 'think' about surgery, but it realllllllly is a last ditch option for me.

My uncle had the stomach stapling surgery in 1980 or 1981. He lost a ton of weight with it, but now has lifelong problems. They used to narrow the opening to the stomach (some surgery options still do), so you have to super chew your food and if you don't, it will get stuck and eventually you will have to vomit. Also, with that surgery, over time you can  restretch that stomach, or learn tricks to get certain foods without making you sick and regain. He regained a lot of the weight he lost (but did relose a lot of it again, but always looked sickly). My mom had that surgery in 1982, I think. And she had the same problems and she is still significantly overweight.

Now, I know they have changed the surgery now. And I know that there even more options and I've seen and heard of some GREAT successes with it - long term. But I also see several people I know who have had initial great success only to gain it all back AND get health problems associated with the surgery.

Plus, one thing it also says, "You must exercise and eat right." Well, isn't that what they should have been doing before, and didn't? Why would surgery make them exercise now? Maybe if someone is SERIOUSLY overweight (and I don't count my weight in that category - but so overweight they can't exercise without losing a ton of weight first), then maybe that is the only way to go. But I don't see surgery as an easy fix. Plus, the idea of surgery freaks me out. And even with the surgery, I would still have the high blood sugars issue to think about - same as now. And being thinner, doesn't mean being healthier. This is all about getting fit and changing my lifestyle to one where I can be active until I'm ancient!

So, to the stats. It's only been 5 days since I did measurements, but I want to get them on a sensible day. So, measurements/full stats will be on Mondays - a logical day. Not much change, but there is something! And, after today, I will have walked (on the balance board), 90 miles! Woo-hoo! I just joined a challenge to walk 1000 miles in 2011. I'm so up for it and I'm not even behind!

Stats for 1/31/11:

• * Weight: Beginning: 255.6    Now: 248.6 lbs
• Body Fat: Beginning: 49.8%  Now: 48.9%
• Body Water: Beginning: 37.5%   Now: 37.5%
• Muscle Mass: Beginning: 118 lbs    Now: 120.8 lbs
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): Beginning: 1866   Now: 1825 calories
• Metabolic Age: Continually 50 - their oldest age to show
• Bone Mass: Beginning: 6.4 lbs    Now: 6.4 lbs

Measurements in inches:

• Chest:  Beginning: 47  Now: 47
• Waist: Beginning: 43  Now: 42.75
• Hips: Beginning: 50  Now: 50
• Left Upper thigh: Beginning:  29.5  Now: 29.25
• Right Upper thigh: Beginning: 30  Now: 29.5
• Upper arm: Beginning: 17.75   Now: 17.25

Exercise stats:

• Walked it Out/walking totals: 86.1 miles
• Exercise total: 26:50 hours 

 * You will notice quite a bit of daily fluctuation with fat, muscle mass, BMR and even the weight. It depends on how hydrated I am and how dry my feet are!

So, why was it so hard to start?

Why did I need that kick in the arse to get me going. Why is fear so powerful? I was AFRAID to go to the doctor because of what? Because he would say I was fat and it was going to or was ruining my health? Within two months, I came clean to the world about it all anyway, so why did I do that to myself? ONLY hurting myself and the people who love me?

Why was I so afraid of failure that I didn't start? Because now I'm started and it's easy. I watch what I eat, avoid simple carbs and exercise every day. I'm not suffering. Actually I feel great for doing something for me!

I know I'm not alone in that. Just read a post from a gal who lost 110 pounds only to regain 85 of it 2 years later and she's at the same point...afraid to start again, if it means she might ultimately fail.

There is legitimacy there - for sure. Everyone sees the failure AND it's usually worse (gaining more back than you lost). I've been there and done that, for sure. But I also think you learn things about yourself on that journey. I now know that I can never go back to eating simple carbs, period. And exercise has to take priority over almost everything else and with no babies in the future, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to do it if I don't get an injury, and if I do, let it heal and start again.

I just can't ever say, "I failed", but instead say, "I'm always trying to make better choices".  And I stumble, to not stop looking at the scale, to not stop being honest with myself.

Right now I feel very positive about what I'm doing. I know there will be times I will not, so, having this blog, hopefully, will remind me WHY I'm doing it and why I need to keep on fighting. Giving up is not an option, ever.

Stats for 1/30/11:

• * Weight: Beginning: 255.6    Now: 248.6 lbs
• Body Fat: Beginning: 49.8%  Now: 47.6%
• Body Water: Beginning: 37.5%   Now: 33.6%
• Muscle Mass: Beginning: 118 lbs    Now: 123.4 lbs
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): Beginning: 1866   Now: 1888 calories
• Metabolic Age: Continually 50 - their oldest age to show
• Bone Mass: Beginning: 6.4 lbs    Now: 6.6 lbs
• Walked it Out/walking totals: 81.2 miles
• Exercise total: 25:40 hours 

 * You will notice quite a bit of daily fluctuation with fat, muscle mass, BMR and even the weight. It depends on how hydrated I am and how dry my feet are!

It's odd how weight loss goes

So, I was stuck at 250ish (250.2, 250.4, 250.2, 250.8, 251 250.4) for like 10 days. I was very frustrated, now the last several days I step on the scale I see drop every day. I think I had one day at 249, two days at 248 and today at 247.8. Why does weight do that? It's probably holding water or something, but just like growth in height comes in spurts, there are spurts of loss. Very odd, but I'm happy to see it! Officially down 7 pounds now.

Now I can't just talk about weight loss all the time on this blog. That would get boring and my life is more than what I eat or what I exercise. Today is Saturday and I'll do fun things like go grocery shopping and do laundry. For real fun, I'll go help build a snow man if the snow will allow (it got a bit chunky/compacted).

• * Weight: Beginning: 255.6    Now: 247.8 lbs
• Body Fat: Beginning: 49.8%  Now: 50.1%
• Body Water: Beginning: 37.5%   Now: 36.3%
• Muscle Mass: Beginning: 118 lbs    Now: 116.6 lbs
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): Beginning: 1866   Now: 1775 calories
• Metabolic Age: Continually 50 - their oldest age to show
• Bone Mass: Beginning: 6.4 lbs    Now: 6.2 lbs
• Walked it Out/walking totals: 76.6 miles
• Exercise total: 24:40 hours 

 * You will notice quite a bit of daily fluctuation with fat, muscle mass, BMR and even the weight. It depends on how hydrated I am.

Those magic numbers

Weight loss, just like with birthdays, have big, important numbers. Remember when turning 5 and 10 was a big deal? Then 13, 18, 21, 30 and so on.  In age and weights the 5s and 10s are always kind of biggies. And of course with weight, being able to say "I lost 10 pounds, 20 pounds, etc.". But there are other markers. There are personal markers. Like the age 42 is a big marker for me, certain weights are too.

So the secret is out of the bag that I started my weight loss journey at 255 pounds. Since we are a weight conscious society, we know how much we weighed at certain points of our life. Like, I know at the end of high school I weighed 178 pounds and I felt ENORMOUS. Now, I would do a jig if I got that low ever again in my life. Heck I would kiss every stranger I met if I got that low! Then, when I got married I was between 190 and 195. I would love to be my marriage weight again. Yes, of course, I felt enormous then and I did have some fluff, but to be under 200? Woo-hoo! I was 220 pounds when I got pregnant with my oldest son. Then I went through lots of ups and downs. My high was when we lived in Ontario - 275, came down then up and then when I got pregnant with my youngest son I was 260. I was 238 10 weeks after he was born when I got my gall bladder out. Yes, I lose weight when pregnant. That topic will be another day's post.

So, now that I'm under 250 (I hope it stays there without another spike), my next personal weight loss marker is the weight I weighed when my youngest son was born.  238. Eleven pounds to go.

Oh, I said I was going to do a virtual me picture every week. Well, that's pointless. My new plan is to make a new one for every 10 pounds lost - another important marker.

• * Weight: Beginning: 255.6    Now: 248.6 lbs (don't count on this 7lbs loss to hold - it's obvious I was deyhydrated this morning)
• Body Fat: Beginning: 49.8%  Now: 50.1%
• Body Water: Beginning: 37.5%   Now: 36.5%
• Muscle Mass: Beginning: 118 lbs    Now: 117.5 lbs
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): Beginning: 1866   Now: 1791 calories
• Metabolic Age: Continually 50 - their oldest age to show
• Bone Mass: Beginning: 6.4 lbs    Now: 6.2 lbs
• Walked it Out/walking totals: 72.5 miles
• Exercise total: 23:30 hours 

 * You will notice quite a bit of daily fluctation with fat, muscle mass, BMR and even the weight. It depends on how hydrated I am.

Fitting in with a fitness group, when you're not yet fit

This past weekend I was out window shopping with the teenager I am mentoring. One of the stores we browsed through was an athletic clothing store. There are so many cute athletic clothes, but they are all so small! There is so little there for the 'mature' athete and definitely only by special catalog/internet order for the plus size folk who want to get more fit and while doing it, wear sweat wicking clothes. So, you don't 'fit' in a fitness store and I always wonder if the employees snicker when they see a blob like me come into their stores looking for something for ME.

Then there's online sites for fitness. I'm trying to decide on a heart rate monitor and gear forums are full of triathletes who can't even fathom WALKING for exercise. Anyone not running at least 10ks are out of place.

There are tons and tons of weight loss forums - from those for new moms only, women only, etc. But, they aren't the best to go to for advice on sporting equipment as they are, for the most part, novices too and many are dieting, not getting active with fitness. And well, a lot of those sites are also full of people doing things unhealthily.

I'm not there yet in being able to say, "I've already lost X pounds".  I don't sound or look serious in this weight loss venture. I don't have the 25 pounds plus 'mark' as part of my signature. Even readers here might think, "Eh, she'll quit when it gets hard. I'll give her two months." And for fitness. Does 3 weeks of exercise sound serious? Um, no.

It's like you have to earn respect to get believed. Six pounds and 3 weeks of exercise? Well, Pfft... it really is nothing. So, onwards I trudge. Years ago, when I lost the weight with aerobics, I belonged to an online group for people who were video aerobics addicts. That's how I built my video aerobics library - people traded their videos all the time, so I have some really good ones and I hope to have sven transfer them to DVD as I need them. Back then, when I was on the forum, everyone had a cute little avatar. Mine was a chick hatching from an egg and I wrote beneath it, "Fitness Fledgling". I think I'll resurrect that name/picture. As that's what this is really about. I found some cute ones. This one looks like a chick ready to take on the world, so seems fitting: 

 But I found some others that make me laugh. These two make me smile. The first one is just devious and fun. The second is how I feel about exercising most of the time too. Which one should go on the blog? Or if you find others that seem to fit, let me know!:

And I think I want one of these to keep on my desktop to remind me what this is all about:

On to the stats 11/27/11:

• Weight: Beginning: 255.6    Now: 248.8 lbs
• Body Fat: Beginning: 49.8%  Now: 49.6%
• Body Water: Beginning: 37.5%   Now37%
• Muscle Mass: Beginning: 118 lbs    Now: 119 lbs
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): Beginning: 1866   Now: 1804 calories
• Metabolic Age: Continually 50 - their oldest age to show
• Bone Mass: Continually: 6.4 lbs
• Walked it Out/walking totals: 69 miles
• Exercise total: 22:30 hours

Secrecy is an enemy. So here it is - no more secrets

I don't watch the show "The Biggest Loser" because I don't believe weight loss and getting fit should be a competition, and I think their tactics are too fierce and too extreme. To be the biggest loser, you have to have the most to lose, first of all. AND you have to be lucky with metabolism (mostly males do well on this show) and so on. But, one thing it does for people on the show, is to air their dirty 'weight' secret. Though is it really a secret? It's obvious when someone is overweight, so that isn't a secret, but the actual pounds people tend to keep guarded. I know I do and always have, even when I was thin. I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I always hid my actual weight because I was always heavier than the average teen and at 15 I didn't understand why I weighed 145 at 5'6.5" when the girl next to me of the same height weighed 125. Even now the Wii Fit says my suggested weight is 136 - would and could never happen unless I was really ill and under weight. Now, it's been a long time since I was thin, but doctors (more than one) reckon I should weigh between 155-165 for my frame size. When I lost a lot of weight before, I got down to 185 and my mother in law (the super critic of weight) thought I looked perfect and didn't think I needed to lose any more (and it was a fit 185 - could easily run 4 miles, but mainly I did the aerobics like I mentioned yesterday). So, that's why I always hid my weight because people were always shocked at how much I actually weighed.

But is this secrecy with pounds healthy? While I think it's very rude to ask someone how much they weigh, why don't we openly say how much we weigh when weight topics come up? I think people would stop being shocked when they realize the range people can weigh.

So, the honesty. All this build up to say, basically. I weigh a lot and always will weigh more than the average gal. My measurements will never again be 36-24-36. Passed that up when I was still a growing teen who was still filling out. I do have a realistic view of where I can go and be. I'm not even aiming at my perfect weight, but a healthier one where I can maintain it easily enough and be active and so on. I will not feel like a failure if I end up at 185 or 190 instead of 160 and so on.

My plan is to update some of these measurements weekly and others daily. I'll update measurements weekly and what the scale says daily. We have a body fat monitor scale, so I'll weigh myself the same time every day and report what it says for:

• Weight
• Body Fat %
• Body Water %
• Muscle Mass
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)
• Metabolic Age
• Bone Mass

Then weekly I will report these measurements:

• Chest
• Waist
• Hips
• Upper thigh
• Upper arm

Of course, since I couldn't find my tape measure, I don't have beginning measurements, but three weeks into this, I don't think I've lost much in measurements as I've only lost 5 pounds.

So, here it is goes:

Scale 1/26/11:

• Weight: 250.2 lbs
• Body Fat: 49%
• Body Water: 37.5%
• Muscle Mass: 121.2 lbs
• Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): 1833 calories
• Metabolic Age: 50
• Bone Mass: 6.4 lbs

Measurements in inches 1/25/11:

Chest: 47
Waist: 43
Hips: 50
Upper thigh: 30
Upper arm: 17.75

And then as always, my exercise totals:

Walked it Out: 65 miles
Number of hours: 21.5 hours
Total pounds lost: 5 lbs

Finally some time to myself!

The kids have been out of school so much with snow delays, midterm exams, holidays, etc, that I am actually looking forward to them getting out of my hair. I want to have time to go look at heart rate monitors and to get that tape measure! The weather, for a day at least, is supposed to be great, so I want to take a walk around the lake and wouldn't it be great to do that with my new GPS Heart Rate Monitor/fitness watch? I think it will take me a year to figure out how to use all the functions. They've gone so high tech, but it will be a fun toy that has to be used to play with it properly! My sensible side is saying I should wait until REI has their 20% off sale, but can I be that patient? When I feel I need that tool now? (It's amazing how seeing your heart rate is close to target, motivates you to get it in target!) Plus, I'm always one who wants to know how far I've walked and with all these trails everywhere, it's impossible to know. Hmmm...maybe I'll walk to pick up Henry from school tomorrow too if it's so nice outside.

Other than that, I think the scales knew I was ready to give them a swift kick. Both the Wii Fit Balance Board and the bathroom scale dropped me the pound they both added to my weight the last three days. They knew I meant business!

I've also decided that once I finish this Walk it Out Game, I'll dust off my Sweatin' with the Oldies DVDs. I used to have them all on VHS, but got the DVDs a few years ago. I have a library of about 50 VHS work out videos. That's how I dropped weight the last time - step aerobics, dance aerobics and some strength training aerobics. Richard Simmons himself is silly, but he always had real people who lost weight on his videos and it made me feel like I fit in better. Once I get a bit more fit, then I'll think about joining an aerobics class at our gym. Maybe I'll meet some more people locally that way too.

Oh, and how come I keep forgetting to update my exercise totals?

So far I've Walked it Out: 61 miles and exercised 20.5 hours.
Still stuck at 5 pounds lost.

The scale and I are not friends

So, I've said I weigh myself daily and have for years. When I do NOTHING, the scale pretty much stays the same up and down a couple of pounds daily, but pretty much averaging out the same.

From the end of December to the beginning of January, I was watching what I ate as far as holiday goodies and I managed to not gain - all good. By January 10th or so, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained at the beginning of the holiday season with adding a bit of exercise and cutting carbs and consequently, calories. Since that time my weight has completely stalled out - actually gaining a pound.

For the last near two weeks, I've been keeping track with my food intake and exercise on a iphone app. According to that app. I should be able to consume 2440 calories a day, with no exercise and maintain my weight. I definitely have cut down on my caloric intake significantly, I can feel it. I'm not hungry, but I'm not filling up like I used to either. While I cannot know how many calories I was eating before, it was probably close to 2300 calories a day. Now, and for the last 3 weeks,  I've consuming 1700-1800 calories a day (600-700 less a day than it says to maintain) AND I am exercising lightly for an hour every day, burning between 350-500 calories during that time. So, according to that program, I should be losing 2.5 pounds a week. Which means in the last nearly 2 weeks, I should see about 4 pounds gone. Instead, I've gained a pound. Scale has read the same or a bit higher every day.

Add to that, I'm taking medicine and have had to increase the dose for an under active thyroid.What doesn't make sense is that when I did NOTHING I didn't gain or just fluctuated a bit and now that I'm DOING something, I'm losing nothing or fluctuating a bit. My thyroid on two tests now clearly show it's not performing adequately, but it's getting better/closer to being OK (and we'll see in 4 weeks if it's now good). According to everything I read, if I had problems with weight gain before, it should get better, or stay the same if my activities stay the same, but NOTHING I read says I should be having problems losing weight and might gain weight while getting my thyroid hormone levels back to normal. It makes no sense.

I know the exercise is doing me good and getting rid of simple carbs is doing me good, but so would some weight loss. I've exercised for 19 hours in 21 days, I've eaten over 7000 calories less than I 'need' to maintain. I should be seeing the scale more downwards, instead of up. I know I'm in my first half of the menstrual cycle, but this is just odd and I wonder what else is going on. Time will tell, of course, and I'm not going to quit or lessen what I'm doing, but I might kick my scale to the curb! But then, the Wii Balance Board is giving me the same news. So, I can't even blame just my bathroom scale.

Doing this for the right reasons

Years ago, the last time I did a major weight loss, I was doing it for the wrong reasons I think.  The last time I really tried, we had recently moved to Philadelphia. I had a horrible, boring job that was an hour away. We knew no one. Our finances were cut in half. We had a 1 year old who was in daycare from 7 am to 6 pm (which I hated) and my husbad was in a killer PhD program at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania and my mother in law was just beginning her move to the United States and we were helping her buy a condo, getting her set up and so on while she slept in our living room on and off for several months when she went back and forth to Europe. Our marriage was really shaky at the end of that year - both of us were ready to call it quits, but didn't verbalize it until much later, when we were in a better place. Many times looking back at that year, we wonder how we made it through and in subsequent rough patches, I think we both look back and feel, "if we made it through that, we can make it through this."

So, at the end of that year, when things were so bad between us, I thought it was all about my weight. I had gained weight after we got married, and regained the weight I had lost when I was pregnant with my oldest son. I thought all our problems (now I realize how silly it was to feel that way) were because I was fat. I thought if I could fix that, then we would be OK again. But, being honest, I also had thoughts in the back of my head, "he'll be sad he lost me when he sees how good I'm going to look!"

And, when the weight started coming off, things were better between us. I think he was proud of me for taking care of myself. He liked the way I looked, and since I felt better, we were both probably nicer to each other.

But then, I changed jobs which was better for me in a way, but it put other strains. I had really odd hours as I was working university student activities. I had nights I had to be out until 2 am and so on. School was still totally consuming all of Sven's attention and things were just tough. All the weight I had lost (50 lbs and fairly near my goal), didn't seem to fix our problems.  I felt ignored, unloved, and like a horrible mother who couldn't be super mom. Add to that less time to exercise, more life stressors and I got to the point of emotionally eating again and gained all the weight back (plus some).

So this time, I'm doing it for me and my health and my kids, especially my little guy who is still so young. I owe it to him to be healthy as he grows up. Of course, I want my husband to be proud of me and I want him to like how I look, but I can't do it for him alone. When I put too much into that, I can get disappointed.

I love that my husband is a very honest man, but at times it hurts. I haven't been told I'm beautiful in ages, because I'm not beautiful in his eyes. Even today when I asked if he could see any difference yet, he was a bit incredulous, "You can't notice anything in 3 weeks." And I know my weight gain and lack of fitness has hurt him too. He wants a life partner and loves me, I know, but he's had to watch me gain weight and get health problems. I'm sure he's feeling hopeful this time will be 'it', but he's had that hope before only to see me fail... I have to remember that too.

I have to love myself enough to do this - and keep doing this.

I am getting a bit frustrated

I am being so good. Exercising 6 days a week for an hour, eating for hunger and according to software, about 500-700 less calories a day than I 'need' for weight maintenance. I'm not hungry, so eating more wouldn't help (yes, I know about if you eat too little you can stall weight loss). Only thing I can figure is my thyroid is still out of whack and not really allowing weight loss. It's just really frustrating to step on the scale every single day and see the same pounds up and down for over a week.

I'll keep doing what I'm doing, but man, I'm frustrated. I will go and get a fabric tape measure to at least see if I'm changing in that way. I've always dropped weight quickly, but this time... not so much.

Making exercise the drug of choice

I was just on facebook (surprise, surprise!) and a friend said that she had just gotten a big, yummy frappuccino with an extra espresso shot  and said it was her drug of choice. I responded with how I'm trying to make exercise my drug of choice and decided I had more to say on it and it would make a great blog post for today.

So, this is the deal. I realllllllllly don't like thinking about exercise. I don't get euphoric thinking about exercising. It's a chore. It's something I need to do and it takes a lot of energy to actually get up and do it. It's really the exact same for me and cleaning. I know I need to do it, but actually getting off my duff and doing it is way, way difficult. So much easier to check out facebook, read articles and blogs on the internet and to play the day away. Of course, I have to do chores. I don't have a housekeeper and we have a 3000 square foot home, 2 kids, two cats, me, my husband and my mother in law all who like a fairly tidy home and good, homemade food in their tummies. So, I do the chores and now I am doing the exercise - every day, like it or not.

But some people really love to exercise. They get antsy if they can't get to it. They'll exercise even if they are in pain and even if the doctor tells them to lay off for awhile. They are addicted to it. Addicted to the rush they get during and after a good run, swim, whatever workout of their choice. I was just reading a blog (http://www.dcrainmaker.com/) and the guy is a triathlete. He was recently overseas. He had just a short day in Greece and an overnight layover in Switzerland. His idea of sightseeing was to run for an hour and take photos of things he saw with his camera. I read that in complete awe! My idea of sightseeing involves slowly walking down the streets, stopping for a coffee and pastry at a local cafe and just slowly taking it all in - not running in shorts on a winter day through Zurich!

Yet, I do understand that euphoric feeling you get while exercising. I get it it too. When I start to exercise, I tell myself how long I have to do it. Lately I've said, 'one hour of walking'. The first fifteen minutes my mind isn't into it, my legs start to feel like lead, and I hate it. Then, the endorphins start flowing and I want to pick up the pace, I feel good, I feel myself smiling and almost every time I have to make myself stop at one hour as now I'm really into it and want to put in just 5 minutes more, 10 minutes more. The last two days it was only because I had to go pick up my youngest at kindergarten that I stopped. Afterwards I feel great! I feel good for exercising and doing something good for my body, but more, I have fended off the sleepies, my appetite is suppressed naturally, and life is just good, plain and simple for about an hour or so after exercising. I feel like I walk taller, feel slimmer and nearly perfect after a good workout - even though I'm really the same old me.

So, I know this. I know I feel great while exercising and after exercising, so why is it so hard to still do it? Why is it a chore then? Like cleaning, I feel great when I've spent the day hard at work and now my kitchen sparkles, but I still don't want to have to clean the toilets the next day. The satisfaction of it hardly seems worth the effort of having to do it again the next day. I get discouraged when I get all caught up on laundry only to see a new pile come down the laundry chute. Exercise seems the same. It's a lot of effort to get to that euphoric state - and that state is far better than the satisfaction of a shiny wood floor.

How does one make exercise their drug of choice? Other legal drugs have no effort to them - sugar rush, caffeine high, an alcohol buzz, a shopping high... all that is fun and easy (though many have bad after effects - weight gain, shakes, headaches, empty bank account and mad spouse). How does one get to the "I need to exercise today"? And not the need in the "I know I should do it sense", but the physical/mental addict need - like those who need that coffee to function? I want to get there. I truly do as there are no bad side effects of liking to exercise (as long as I listen to my body and know when to take it easy). I would say you have to grow up with it to make it a life long habit and desire, but that's not quite true. I think it's easier to like it if you've always done it, but I know many people who were late to start exercising who found that love. I keep hoping I'll be one of these people some day, but I'm not there yet, and at 41 years old, I'm not sure it will ever be more than a chore I need to do, but I can hope I find that exercise really does become the drug of my choice. Well, I guess it already is the drug I'm choosing as I am not drinking caffeine, eating sugars or drinking, shopping or anything else 'bad'. It's just a forced choice.

When you know yourself too well

See, I have this problem. When I get to researching something. I research it to death. I read everything up on it and in the end decide that the cheap thing that can 'do it' isn't good enough. Even when it very well might be good enough short term. Sven and I balance each other well in that. He tends to be a cheapskate, so he gets the minimum that will do what it needs to do. So, in the end, we get something in the middle. For things around the house we've found refurbished electronic/electric items are the route to go and for funishings, nearly everything is high end, but used.

So, I was looking up heart rate monitors as I want to track what my heart is doing, how I'm doing etc. I would also love it to be a pedometer. I have one, but it's pretty bad and slips off and I can easily lose it. So, with research, of course, I found there are great things out there that can do what I want.

I could get the Garmin Forerunner 305 which has a GPS tracking so it can track how far you've gone, you can chart routes and everything. However, it has some issues.

A Polar model has the best heart rate monitor, but most things otherwise aren't as good, however, it does have the best software.

Then there's Suunto T6 which you need to buy accessories to count distance and GPS, but it records heart recovery and can tell you not only if your heart is in the zone, but can tell you if your workout is too hard, too easy or just right.

Of course, like everything, there is no perfect fitness monitor. Some are better for some things, others better for others and now of course, I want one of those three. So, my $50 heart rate monitor that will do just that - show the heart rate while exercising, has now just jumped to $200-$330 (up to $600 with accessories) for all the cool extra things it can do. We live in a community full of trails, so having something to REALLY track distance would be so cool. A pedometer stinks. You have to guess stride length and it doesn't take into account going up a hill or rougher terrain where your stride might alter.

For fun things like this (not a family necessity) I never use family funds, I raise fun money. I haven't done it in a long time. Not since we moved actually, but I think it's time I do it again. I have some things around the house of mine I can sell and I'll go back to doing what I used to do on craigslist - find a bargain and then resell it at a more normal price on ebay (sometimes right back on Craigslist).

Editing to add: I'm pretty sure I'm going to get the Garmin 305. The price is right and it ahs everything I need. "IF" I ever get into more serious training and such, then I'll invest in the latest and greatest, but for now 'yesterdays' latest and greatest is perfect! 

I need to get a new heart rate monitor

I like gizmos and I like to know what I'm doing is DOING something and I'm one of those people who cannot take their pulse while exercising. Can't watch the clock while counting beats at the same time. So, I want a heart rate monitor.

I bought one as a 50 lbs lost reward when I lost weigh eons ago. I used it here and there, but when I went to grab it now, it needed two new batteries AND the watch kind of fell apart while putting in a new watch battery and now none of the buttons will work (four). I 'could take it in, I suppose, but it's a 2001 model and repairing it would probably cost more than buying a new better one. Now you can get really decent ones for under $50. I think I spent about $100 on this one on sale!

But, it will help me. I'm finding with the walk it out game that I'm not feeling much effort unless the song has at least 135 beats per minute and there are some songs with only 90 beats per minute. Those below 105 I've deleted from the play list and I tend to like to really move with those at 150 and higher, but is my heart getting in the zone?

But then I ask myself, "Does it need to be in the zone to do good?" Isn't moving PERIOD enough for a lot? When Sven and I used to take walks, I dropped a LOT of weight, but I wasn't working up a sweat. I was just naturally walking - burning up calories. And walking is definitely good for the heart and bones and easy on the joints.

I don't want this to get to the point that I need to an hour of high impact exercise every day to lose weight or maintain weight loss because if that is the case, I won't be able to keep it up. I need to find activities I can do for a lifetime and walking is something I can do for the rest of my life (barring something horrible happening). So, why am I worrying about being in the zone?

Ah ramblings... I just have to keep doing what feels good and right I guess and for now, faster songs on the Walk it Out game works for me and soon enough I'll have finished the game and then I can decide if I want to move onto aerobics or something else.

So where am I in progress?

Well, I've lost 5 lbs and I've walked 44 miles on the walk it out game and exercised for a total of  16 hours. A lot of work went into that 5 lbs and less calories in too. But, that's a bag of potatoes no longer on my body!

How to instantly lose 28 pounds!

Yesterday evening my husband moved the wii from the upstairs family room where we have the big TV to the basement with the old, small, barely working TV. There were reasons for it - no burn in with the plasma and the floor of the family room is squeaky and not so firm. Plus, the room is a little crowded for playing wii.

So, today I went downstairs to exercise. Problem is, the carpeting downstairs is quite plush, so the scale doesn't work probably. Overnight, according to the balance board, I, and my husband, have lost 28 pounds! It's amazing! And how I would love to believe it! Sad thing is, my mii says I'm JUST as obese with losing 28 pounds as it does with me being my current weight. So, I guess I'll have to lose a LOT of weight for it to register as getting better.

Well, I know I'll never be what the wii suggests I should be. It says I should weight about 136 pounds. Sven heard that and guffawed. Doctors have said my 'ideal' is around 160. A small, dainty thing, I never have been or will be.

Edited to add: and I know how to instantly gain 28 pounds too. I read up on how to fix the balance board problem was it was suggested to add the leg extenders on plush carpeting. I did so and voila! I gained 28 pounds. Problem is, the wii fit program made me make a new goal for two weeks. I'm not to lose or gain any weight.... but, that's for a point 28 pounds lighter! LOL When two weeks are up, I'll have to say I need to gain 27 pounds or so (depending any weight loss I have during that time). 

Some days are difficult to be good

I haven't had carb cravings for a couple days, but today I did. Man, was it a difficult day. I was so thankful I had Splenda packets in the house. Having a sweetened tea helped some and one of the atkins bars helped too. It was just sweet enough to curb that NEED for something sweet. Doesn't help that dinner didn't grab me tonight. I ate it, but didn't enjoy it and food needs to be enjoyable. Probably doesn't help that it's day one of my monthly cycle either. Those hormones are always interfering. Guess I should be happy I still have regular montly cycles. There's another thing 42 signifies. My mom was completely through menopause at 42. More motivation to get healthier!

Exercise was good today. I'm finding it's easier and easier and the time goes faster. On the slow songs on Walk It Out I do arm movements and man are my arms weak - my shoulders anyway. So, it's baby steps. I was good today, but it was a difficult to manage day. I must say keeping a food journal is motivating  too!

Women's monthly hormones and weight loss

Years and years ago I tried my hand at Weight Watchers. It was helpful for support and someone to answer to, but other than that, it was a money zapper for me. I 'know' what to do to lose weight and stay healthy and fit. Anyway, while I was doing weight watcher's, I was very, very consistent with my diet and there was a very distinct pattern with my weight loss. The first two weeks of my menstrual cycle, I wouldn't feel very hungry, so being good was easy, but also the scale didn't budge. The second half of my menstrual cycle, I would be hungry and eating more, but I would drop all the weight for the month in those two weeks  - about 3-4 pounds a week, so I would average out a loss of 6-8 pounds a month.

Later, with weighing myself more frequently, I notice at the end of my cycle, the water weight gain (as well as a desire for something salty). Then on day 2 or 3, all that water weight gain is gone and then back to normal. So, here I am using wii fit every day and there's a record for the last two weeks. It happens to be the middle of my cycle to about the end of the cycle and guess what's happening the last couple days? Weight gain. Four pounds in two days after gradual loss. So, now when my new cycle starts, I'll be curious to see if the wii fit scales see the same trend I'm always casually observing, but never documented.

Am I the only one who notices these things? Or is my body weird?

Weighing yourself daily

I've weighed myself daily for years. Some say not to do that, but I think if you understand what the numbers mean and don't get frustrated by normal ups and downs, it's actually pretty interesting and maybe less frustrating.

So, this week on the wii and on my bathroom scale, my weight has gone, down 3, up 2, same, same, down 1, up 1. What I gather from that is that I'm on target for losing a pound or maybe a bit more for this week. What if I had weighed myself on an extra low day and then a week later weighed myself on an extra high day? For a week I would think I had actually gained weight when really I hadn't. We also have a fat monitoring scale, but those fluctuate a lot too and I doubt that fat changes that much daily. It also tells me I'm 50 years old by my weight and fat count. Which I think is the highest age it gives. Don't know how much weight I'll have to lose before I see that number go down. I've lost 25 lbs since I bought that scale and it hasn't budged!  But boy, the day my BMI comes down lower on the obese section on the Wii and my metabolic age comes down on the scale will be big Woop! Woop! days.

Anyway, about daily weights. It really can fluctuate so much. Sometimes I even weigh myself before and after a bowel movement and you know what? Poop doesn't weight much! LOL I usually notice I hold a lot of water after a salty food day, so like today, I gained a pound, but I also ate a lot of salt yesterday. And clothes weigh more than you think! 2 pounds between being in my nightgown to being in jeans and a sweater, sometimes 3 pounds. So, what this means, is that I don't pay much attention to daily weights, just the trends. Sure I love big drops like 3 pounds in one day, but I also know the next day I'll most likely see a huge weight gain. My mother in law never weighs herself, maybe once a month, but for some reason she decided to weigh herself one day in the morning and night and she was shocked that she weighed 2 pounds less in the morning than the night before. Even as a doctor, she didn't knwo that was normal, huh.

What else? Oh, I decided to wear my pedometer just for kicks. Anything to keep me thinking positively and to keep me doing positive things. Next I need to get some body measurements so that I can see I'm shrinking even if the scale doesn't agree with me sometimes. Muscle takes less room than fat. Last year when I dropped 10 pounds, it felt like so much more because I toned a lot with all that working around the house. I kept the weight off, but lost the toning once most house work was done.

Friday, so this weekend will be interesting. It's harder to squeeze in exercising with family home all day.

Lastly, I just caught myself smiling. I'm feeling so good these days and that is so nice.

Why is there no housework listed for exercising on fitness sites?

I just spent 2.5 hours doing a whirlwind cleaning of my house (as someone was coming to assess the value for our community association as we've changed a lot since it was last assessed). So, of course, not doing any cleaning for a week, things were cluttered and dusty. I first tidied our bedroom, Henry's bedroom and Adrian's bedroom. I went downstairs and spent on hour on the kitchen and living/dining area - putting away holiday dishes, unloading and loading the dishwasher, wiping down all the counters, cleaning the 5 burner gas stove and grates, the sink, etc. Then I went to the dining/living area and picked up the toys and books and put those all way, cleaned the table and place mats and swept the kitchen and dining/living area. Went to the mud room and organized and tidied. Went to the basement bringing some holiday stuff downstairs, cleaned the litter boxes and then headed up to the family room. Put away all of the toys (to henry's room) gathered all the recycling from the Orthodox christmas and Christmas (we had saved boxes until we were sure everything was OK/not broken), tidied up the music stuff, and was just about done when the bell rang. Covered in sweat, I then showed the guy through the house - which is still not very tidy, btw. I was way more tired and sweaty than I am when I'm walking to Walk It Out and it wasn't an hour, but TWO hours of nonstop, really, nonstop cleaning. I can't even think about cleaning the bathrooms today - NO WAY.

So, why on my fitness log does it have exercise for playing billiards, bob sledding, broom ball, croquet, curling, darts, hacky sack, hang gliding, horse shoe pitching, juggling, lawn bowling, luge, motocross, sailing, scuba diving, shuffleboard, ski jumping, snow mobiling, sky diving, tobogganing, and wallyball, but nothing for cleaning the house? I'm pretty sure I'm exercising more than I would be if I was playing horse shoes. If I cleaned like this every day, I would be a skinny gal. Too bad I hate cleaning!

So, I sit here and think, well, how should I categorize it? Jazzercise? Or Skateboarding? or Walking? If I put in walking for 2.5 hours, it says I burned 1000 calories, really? No, I would probably feel more burn/nerve ticking in my legs if I walked for 2.5 hours. Let's see, Hacky Sack? No, that's 1134 calories. Wow, 2.5 hours of sledding is 2000 calories. Let's check horseshoe pitching. I guess I'll call housework, Horseshoe pitching as that's 857 calories and starts with an H. too and that feels about right. Wow! That's a lot of calories, no wonder I'm exhausted! I'll have to pitch horseshoes more often!

ETA: Well, I am beginning to use an app on my iphone and general cleaning, like sweeping, dusting, mopping, wiping counters for 2.5 hours is 1043 calories for me. Light cleaning of dusting, changing linen, vacuuming is 743 calories for me. So I guess, it's somewhere in that ballpark? I like to err on the side of caution, so I guess on my online log I'll stick with horseshoe pitching and call it light cleaning on my phone app.

Artificial sweeteners

I really don't like the idea of artificial sweeteners. I drink them in diet coke as I prefer that flavor/taste over regular coke, but I never use it elsewhere. I don't want to put artificial things in my body to replace sugars. It's like taking away one bad thing and adding another. Though, without artificial sweeteners, the door slams closed on a lot of foods.

Another thing I read recently is that one of the reasons people gain weight while drinking diet sodas (why so many studies on diet sodas, anyway?) is not only the caffeine in the stimulate the appetite, but artificial sweeteners trick your body into thinking it's getting sugar. So, your body gets ready for it (probably insulin going up?) until to not get it and then the blood sugars come crashing down and make you need to eat, like NOW. or at least that's what i think I heard. Maybe it was an NPR thing? Anyway, it makes a lot of sense. Why wouldn't part of our response be somewhat Pavlovian? Tastes like sugar, taste buds sends out the signal, "Yo, sugar is on it's way - have at it!" only to leave the cells hungry and now demanding what they were promised! Let me see if I can find that article, which of course I can't but I found this a good read: article about sugars - especially Splenda

Basically, I can't see any good in trying to make something low sugar unless the rest of the food is good for me. Like, I suppose, pudding could be an example as it's a way for me to get calcium, but I can get that through dark greens too. Making cookies or cake with splenda is pointless as what about the flour? That's basically sugar too!

Plus, I just have this gut feeling that if I give into the 'sweets' craving with giving myself, say a sugar free hard candy, that I'm just allowing that craving to keep coming whereas if I just SKIP all such carbs and even 'fake' carbs, I'll get adjusted to low sugar better and faster. Though, I'm not going to test it. BTW, the sugar craving was much less today.

Weight lost: (OK, according to Wii Fit, I've lost 5 lbs, but not according to my bathroom scale, so I'm not committing to a weight yet).

Exercised in 2011: 6 hours 40 minutes
Walked: 21.7 miles

Dealing with feelings of guilt

I never meant to get overweight. I never meant to get out of shape. And, I had every intention of getting fit (and dropping) weight as soon as our lives stabilized, but then I had all those headaches and felt like hell. Yet, I had said that before too. And I feel guilty. I am beginning to be one of those Americans who is costing us money because I didn't take care of myself. And reality is, I "could" go on not taking care of myself. I could just take the pills and do the same old thing I've always done - eating whatever I want and not regularly exercising. Some blood pressure medicine, thyroid medicine and insulin shots could keep me going for years and years. Isn't that the route most people decide to take?

Well, it is not the route I plan to take. I don't want to be dependent on drugs to keep me alive. I want to take control of my life and get off as many of the drugs I can. Which got me to thinking. Why do we just give people drugs when it can be controlled by diet or behavior? Why do diabetics who can control their glucose by exercise and diet, not get penalized for NOT doing it? Same with blood pressure and so many other ailments.

Why isn't the system set up that you only get help permanently (if needed) if you lead a healthy lifestyle? Give people a break, second chance (because I'm a softy and it includes me). OK, you are heavy, and you need blood pressure medicine now and would need insulin soon, but if you lose X amount of pounds and exercise (which would be easy enough to verify by their health improvement or decline), you can stay on the meds (if you still need them) or lose them if you don't follow doctor orders of losing weight and getting more fit. Or make them pay for it more out of pocket? Where is the incentive, really, to get more fit and lose weight when a drug can keep me going fine?

Or am I not thinking this through?

Weight loss: .5 pounds
Walked in 2011: 5 hours 20 minutes
Distance in 2011: 18 miles

Back from follow-up with the doctor

Things went about as I thought they would - blood pressure is now fine. I didn't gain any weight over the holidays. Which is no small feat as during that time is my birthday, 2 christmas parties, Christmas, New Years, my husband's birthday and Serbian Orthodox Christmas. Everyone else in the house gained 4-5 pounds, so that's all good.

Expected news is that my thyroid is still underactive by quite a bit. TSH was 43, it's now 15 and needs to be under 3. The T3 and T4 and Free T4 are all now within normal limits.

Bad news is that my fasting glucose is even higher than before. It should be under 99. Last time it was 134. This time it was 206. The doctor wants to check it in 3 months, when hopefully my thyroid is functioning properly and I've had time to incorporate exercise and a low carb diet. Now, if that isn't motivation to keep at this, I don't know what is. I DO NOT want to take insulin shots!

Other news is that I'm wearing a halter - a continuous EKG basically. I started to feel some skipped beats before taking the thyroid medicine and BP medicine and now I feel them every few minutes. It's probably nothing significant, but they have to watch it to be sure. So, today I get to exercise while wearing a type of fanny pack!

I'll exercise in a bit, but just had second breakfast (first was a nutrition bar and coffee - not it was sausage and eggs). A bigger/fuller breakfast makes me a happier camper for hours. Now to find ways to eliminate carbs which I love, of course. Bigger problem is that I don't like dairy. I think I'm going to turn into a BIG bean lover though as it's filling, not fatty, not full of carbs and great nutritionally. But first, I need to make stuffed green peppers, which are low in carbs too.

Oh, I've cut diet sodas from my diet! And the only caffeine I have in the day is 2/3s of a cup of coffee (and we make weak coffee). Now I have to wean myself off cranberry juice. I mix it 70 percent water, 30 percent juice, but that's pure sugar. I need to drink more sparkling water flavored with lemon.

Weight loss: .5 lb (from the initial doctor appt - I actually gained three and lost three over the holidays)
Exercise 4 hours 20 minutes
Walked: 15 miles

Busy weekend!

The end of the holidays were this weekend and man, I'm ready for the kids to go back to school! So, I had been so good. I exercised the 3rd, 4th and 5th. January 6th was Christmas Eve, so no time that day as I was cooking and getting ready for the evening. On the 7th, it was Christmas AND my husband's birthday. So, again, just no time for exercise. I knew it would happen, but it looks bad on a fitness log to skip two days in a row just after starting!

Saturday I was able to fit in more exercise, 45 minutes and tonight I did one hour of Walk It Out. Lots of fun and I feel great afterwards! So far in the new year I've put in 3.5 hours and walked 12 miles. I'm going to love adding up those totals as the go. I think I will start adding a tag to the end of my posts to show my progress along the way.

Monday morning I have a physical with the doctor and I'll see how my blood work is evening out. Giving the blood for the blood work was horrible. It took 15 minutes, 3 vampires and 4 pricks to get it. The top of both of my hands and both of the crooks of my elbows are purple. They said I was the hardest stick they've had a in long time and would go in the record books. Great! I sure hope my blood work is evened out as I don't wan to do this again next month.

I also hope to see a drop in weight from the last visit and now. That would boost my confidence!

Weight lost:
Hours exercised: 3.5
Miles walked: 12 (using Wii Fit's Walk it Out)

Sharing the blog and fitness training

I started this blog a few days ago and I wasn't sure I wanted to share it or not. I was viewing it as my online diary. I didn't really care if people I didn't know read it or not, but I wasn't sure it was something I was ready to open up about to those around me.

I know it probably seems odd that I would seem guarded as I seem to share much of my life, but believe it or not, I do find it hard to be open and share the most intimate of things, even with family. I hold them until I'm ready to open up. Now, of course, I open up much faster and more completely than most and there's a reason for it. I used to share nothing. I kept it all inside and I learned that all that did was hurt me and gave the secrets, usually painful things, power. As soon as I released the secrets, they lost their power and I could move on and heal. A side effect is that it oftentimes seems to help other people too - to see someone open up and share about something they are feeling too, but are/were too afraid to share.

I discovered this in college and have tried to keep secrets from haunting me ever since. This weight thing though, and now this health thing has been a constant haunting. I don't hide that I'm overweight - as I wear it, but I do hide my health and my feelings about the weight as I'm ashamed of it.

Today, in 2010, is the worst time to be overweight. Kind of ironic, isn't it? When more and more people are battling the bulge? I truly believe that the overweight are the last 'group' where it is OK to openly discriminate against. It's the only group I hear targeted and bullied that is accepted. I don't see a campaign like, "it gets better" for those teenagers who are overweight and suffering terribly. And the reason is, people see they have a choice to be fat or not. They made themselves fat, so they are fair game to discrimination and ridicule.

Of course, if you asked anyone who is overweight if they like being overweight, they will say "No". And we all know how to lose weight, but then why are we getting fatter? Why don't we lose weight.

I know and have known how to control my weight for years. I know how to lose it slowly and healthily. But it's not easy and it's a life long journey. Look at Oprah to see how true that is. See, those who have never really had a weight problem don't get it. People get overweight from more than just not exercising and eating too much. They get overweight from eating emotionally, their genes, their fat cells screaming that they are starving and from learned bad habits. While my husband gained a few pounds for a few years, he'll never be fat because, A. he eats for nutritional needs only. B. his entire family is thin. C. he learned to eat well as a child and young adult and doesn't have the taste for fatty comfort foods. He can go years without exercising and his weight won't change much. He can indulge over the holidays and lose those extra 5 pounds in spring and summer where he prefers lighter foods.

Me on the other hand, grew up on heavier foods, nearly everyone in my family is overweight, learned bad habits with food and exercise and I'm pretty sure my genes work against me. And those darn fat cells.

This is what I think has kept me from trying to lose weight again. See, 13 years ago I lost 50 pounds (gained it all back plus some). I did it exactly right. I exercised every day and ate a Weight Watcher's diet - but would eat more if I felt hungry - never starving myself, never forbidding foods. I was so proud of myself. I felt great and strong. And then one day 'it' hit. I don't know how to describe it, but one day I just needed to eat, and eat, and eat. At the same time, I changed jobs, my hours were long and screwy and I couldn't keep up with the exercise - getting up at 5 am meant my toddler woke up too. I would try to stop, but couldn't. I was watching myself balloon back up and I felt like I had no control over it and quite honestly, it scared the crap out of me. In less than a year, I gained it all back and added 20 pounds more. How after all that hard work could I just throw it away? And since then I've made feeble attempts, but never seriously. I think I've been afraid it would happen again.

In the past year I've been wanting to get back into exercise, but felt like crap. I had seen twice in the last 7 years I had dropped weight and not gained it back. It was giving me confidence that maybe I could do it? But I felt so bad and tired that I couldn't get my act in gear. Well, now I know why I felt so bad - my health was bad. But now with feeling better and with feeling my back is against the wall of now or never, I have to try again, with all my might. And if I don't make it this time, I will seriously consider surgery options. There is no more waiting to get rid of this weight. I HAVE TO DO IT NOW.

Anyway, a lot of ramblings.  I hate being fat. I probably can tell anyone how to eat right and live right, so why am I wearing this fat suit and ruining my life?

My virtual me

Every week, I will make a new virtual me. This is pretty darn close to 'me', but not quite. It's a more flattering version, of course. I am larger on top and you can't see how thick I am front to back. So, the beginning and my goal after one year. Yes, this is still not ideal, but like all things in life, I need to be realistic. I may never be at my goal weight, but it's better to be  50 pounds lighter and CLOSER to my ideal weight than to just keep it status quo.

The good news is, my weight has been very steady over the last 7 years, it's gone down twice during periods I was working out more/moving/painting, etc. And I didn't gain that weight back. So, the prognosis is good that I'll keep this off too if I just get my act in gear. If, after a year I feel I want to lose more. Fine, I'll make a new goal, but one goal at a time.

Some real exercise

The day didn't go as expected. The 'plan' was that if my youngest son got up early enough I would walk him to school, walk back, and then do Wii Fit and Walk it Out. Well, the little guy didn't wake up early enough to walk to school, so I had to drive him. Then, when I got back, I sat down to check my email and respond to anything important and realized I was exhausted. Like, can't keep eyes open tired. So, I decided to take a nap as I knew I was kidding myself if I thought I would actually exercise as exhausted as I felt. I laid down at 9:45 am. Heard my mother in law puttering in the kitchen, heard her leave around 11 am, but I was still tired. Woke at 11:45, still tired. At 12:15 I started to get up but said nope in my head - no rush. I finally forced myself out of bed at 12:45 (three hours after falling asleep) and I could have slept more, I know it.

But then I felt great! I had a meal, did a bit of work in the house and then set up my Mii on Wii Fit. Now, this is something I was dreading as I know how mean they are to the unfit. Yes, my Mii ballooned to a chubby Mii, but that's OK, I am chubby. But then I did their first 'wii age' test and probably held my breath when they said the age. Fully expecting 70 years old, I got 34 and it said, "You are still in pretty good shape!" It was 6 years younger than my actual age! Yay! A confidence booster - meaning, I have good balance at least.

I then chose to do basic step which is WAY, WAY easy. I did that twice and then I decided to set up my Walk it Out character and start that. I walked 1.7 miles (approximately) and did that for about 25 minutes. So, first day I put in over 30 minutes and it felt great. Easy enough, but fun!!!

Ironic thing is - I have a lake 500 meters from my house, no further, but I find it boring to walk around the lake by myself. It has a nice path and everything, but for some reason, if exercise is NOT in my living room, I just don't do it.

I think I'm going to really like Walk It Out. It's a perfect game/video to dive into fitness again. I'm sure soon enough it will be too easy and boring, but by then, I'll feel more fit to handle more advanced things again. I forgot how GOOD it feels to get a good workout. I think it's been such a long time that I felt well, that I forgot a lot of positive feeling things.

So, I'm off to a good start and I feel good about being able to stick to it! Yay me!

Getting started

Every step counts, every movement counts and that includes housework! Today I swept the dining room, the kitchen and the foyer. Then I mopped the 260 square foot kitchen and foyer tile 3 tiles. That counts for something!

Tomorrow I will take measurements and will start a TRUE regime. I will try to walk Henry to school (totally depends on when he wakes up) and then, no matter what, I will start on the wii fit. I'm actually excited about it!

The New Year

I don't consider my 'plan' to be a New Year's Resolution and good thing it isn't as I would be behind on day one. All day today I've felt pretty sluggish and tired and I must have slept on my eye as my eye is tender and hurts! Go figure!  Today is just a mellowing out, wait until the kids are back in school, sort of day.