Friday, June 13, 2014

I made a comment yesterday that I realized later was very helpful to my thought process

Yesterday I had a conversation on a forum with someone. The topic came up of being a regainer and now a reloser. (As there are many of us). I do try to analyze things so that I learn from them and while I think I know what led to derailing me in the distant past and the recent past, I now had another thought about it.  Here's a piece of that conversation:

A board member responding to my post: I know exactly how you feel wondering how we can go from one extreme of eating to another. This is my fourth time on the downward journey and there is the fear of regaining with me always now. The "gone for good" or "I'll never see that weight again" comments you see around X seem like asking for trouble. Ha! Never say never but keep up the fight is my new motto. So sad. I know....

I responded: I was the one to say it last time too as I had figured myself out. And that was true... it was. I HAD figured myself out - for then and there, not for always and forever. I didn't realize that a temporary depression would derail me, or injuries would lead to so much frustration, etc.

I always said I would struggle with it my whole life, but I TRULY didn't think I would go completely bonkers like I did. I truly, truly thought I would never go over 200 again. There was soooooo much distance between 165 and 200. HOW could I go over that with all that WARNING!!!!! space?

I didn't think I could ever regain that all - and I did... for the second time in my life. What was different this time was that I didn't really "quit". I knew I was derailed. I knew I was spinning out of control, but I hadn't given up. I just needed to find a way to reel it in and get back at it... and here I am with now another notch in my "lessons learned" belt. This is my third foray to a MAJOR weight loss. And I won't say it's the last one, but I sure hope I don't lose it completely again.

And I think that is key. We are not static. We are ever evolving. I DID know what worked for me with previous weight losses. I knew how to lose the weight and how to (hopefully) maintain that weight loss, but who says that I'll stay the same? That the environment will stay the same? That the triggers will stay the same? THEY WON'T So, I have to be constantly willing to change and adapt my plan and be fully cognizant of the fact that there will be times that it will be really hard to stay on this strict eating plan. I NEED to be on this eating plan just as if I were a diabetic because these foods affect me negatively, but needing to and doing it are totally different things. I love carbs. They don't love me.

Anyway... I think having the attitude of knowing I can only know me and my needs for the here and now is healthy. I cannot know what I will need for always and forever and I need to be constantly re-analyzing myself and constantly monitoring where my head is in the game.

1 comment:

  1. Great book and website 'Refuse to Regain' helps me :)