Again, the mental side of weight loss

My pattern of weight loss has been, forever, to hold steady after my period starts until ovulation hits and then a few days after ovulation, a big WHOOSH!

I know this. I've experienced it for the last two years and in weight loss attempts before. So, why do I still hope it will change this month?

I'm feeling it especially this month as I joined that Biggest Winner Contest at the gym. I have 3 other gals on my team, plus the personal trainer rooting us on.

While I know that I will not see a loss this week and probably not next week, how can my teammates really believe me that I'm eating right and exercising right if the scales don't reflect it?  They are also post-menopausal, so they don't have those monthly hormones interfering. I think my personal trainer sort of gets it (as she said that all women who cycle see fluctuations in their weight loss according to their cycles), but I think I'm an extreme case.

I haven't heard of many women (any?) who don't lose weight for 2 plus weeks every. single. month. and then have these incredible whooshes after ovulation for a bit more than a week. every. single. month. Well, what used to be every. single. month.

What is getting more frustrating to me is now that I'm peri menopausal, I cannot predict like clockwork when ovulation will hit or if it will hit. I have now had two months where I skipped a period (and a cycle) and during those times I don't have those stall outs and big drops, but I can't know when I'm going to have those months as my body doesn't tell me what it's doing.

So, in my head, I'm all "well maybe this month I will see a drop this week as maybe I won't ovulate at all or will ovulate later." I watch the scale, hopeful that it will drop. When it doesn't, then I get a bit worried, "maybe I'm not working hard enough?" "Maybe I'm eating more than I think I am?" "Or is it not dropping because I'm gearing up for ovulation?" Ack! The mind games!

Though I know all I can do is just keep plugging along. Some part of me wants to be able to do something about it, but I I am eating right (mostly - did a head smacking mistake yesterday of unknowingly drinking a can of regular soda!) and exercising daily. My caloric intake is close to ideal and my exercise is close to ideal. All I can do is just see how it plays out for the month, but I would so love it if my body could speak to me. Maybe have a little print out that gives the agenda for the month?  In this day in age where we try to plan and control everything, I'm wanting to have that same control over my body which is, of course, impossible.

Needless to say, the scale has held steady the last few days. Well, that's not true. It's gone up a few tenths of a pound. Please just let it be hormones!