Friday, September 21, 2012

Funny how my mind works - that darn goal number

As you all can tell, I've been struggling around the same weight for quite awhile. I do well for awhile, get waylaid and then I have a gain, have to lose the weight again and then repeat.

My end goal has been a few times, to get to 155. Why 155? Well, that would take me to the OK BMI healthy range. While I totally don't think I'll be any less healthy at 160 than 155, there is that mental line - I had crossed into even societal, medical practice, insurance norms. Even if it's a ridiculous thing to think about it, it's there in my head.

Then there is the fact that 155.6 is exactly 100 pounds from when I started this current journey in January 2011.  There's something magical about that whole, round, big number. Saying 95 pounds sounds impressive, but also like, "oh so close to 100 pounds. Can't I make it an even 100?"

So... even now, I go back and forth with the end goal weight. My husband thinks 155 is possible, but not necessary. 160 is fair, good, and probably even gets me to the body fat percentage I want. And, he's right.

When I'm struggling with gains, or stall outs or feel unmotivated, I really struggle with the 155. It seems so elusive - so far away. Then I have a good streak, and the scale cooperates and then I get this idea in my head again of, "Well, why not? Why can't I make 155 if I lost 5 pounds this month?"

But of course, one month, one whoosh might not be followed for another whoosh for several weeks, or even a couple months. Those last few pounds are hard fought for. I can't really drop my calories any more without feeling terribly hungry. I can up my exercise, but that's hard to maintain especially with jobs and kids, etc.

Though right now, while the scale is dropping and I'm feeling strong, I'm thinking about it. 155 is only 19 pounds away. That doesn't feel so huge! Of course, 160 is closer and feels even more attainable. That's only 14 pounds away! Since I got down to 165 for a microsecond, I now know 160 is attainable. So, I'm going to ignore my desire to drop my ultimate goal of 155 (for now). I'm zeroing in on that 160 number. If I can to 165 by the end of the year, I will be so happy, and if I get to 160? I will do cartwheels. Hmmm... I haven't done cartwheels since I was in middle school. Think I would hurt myself?

In other news, I made an appointment with a phsical therapist about my shoulder. It's bugging me again. Before I start heavy lifting, I need to see if I have an injury I need to address.

And by this post, can you tell that the scale did another big drop?

Stats for 9/21/12:

Highest weight: 275  Now: 174.4

P.S. I now FINALLY match the weight in the top most picture on the right (again). Woohoo!

No comments:

Post a Comment