What plan works for me - it may or may not work for you

I do not follow one particular diet plan. There are things I try to do that are parts of other plans, but it's not the entire plan. For the most part though, I flip the food pyramid upside down - sort of. Grains are definitely at the lowest and everything else is pretty equal.  As the title states. This works for me. Might not work for someone else. It's taken years and lots of trial and error to find this path I'm taking. But if you are carb sensitive, most of this might work for you. And if you are loathe to give up big meals, parts of this might work for you too.  This is just "my" path.

1. I reduce/limit my carb intake. And that is ANY carb except most fruits and some starchy vegetables. Those do not create the cravings/sugar problems that I have like when I eat bread or pasta or cookies. I'm not sure if I'm in a ketogenic state most of the time or not. I don't really care about that. Though, I probably often am in a ketogenic state.

2. As part of that, I am not on a high protein or a high fat diet in itself. I'm just on low carb and I don't really care about the division of calories from there on. Most of the time though, fats are higher than proteins as I eat a lot of nuts, olive oil and avocados, as well as meats, dairy and eggs. Fats are fine. Low fat makes me hungry. So, I drink half and half in my coffee. I use butter to cook my eggs. I will eat the skin of the chicken. I use olive oil on my salad, etc. ALL those things make me more full for longer. I don't try to load up on fats or on protein - so some days it's higher in one and another day higher in another.

3. I count calories. I cannot just eat for hunger as I cannot rely on my body telling me the truth and nothing about the truth when it comes to hunger. That's how I got to be obese! At least that's how I got obese with eating all the carb heavy foods I want. I track every morsel I put in my mouth, but I eyeball amounts (with occasionally measuring to make sure my eye is fairly accurate).

4. While I calorie count, I give myself a range and I will eat less than my allotted amount if I'm not hungry and will eat more than my allotted amount if I'm feeling very hungry. I am not stuck on a number and will not eat more just to get my calories in. Nor will I get mad at myself if I eat 100 calories more than I allotted as "ideal". These are frameworks, not something to live and die by. ESPECIALLY since calorie counting is never specific anyway. That apple you grab can be anywhere from 50-120 calories! Nothing can be so accurate!

5. I do a form of intermittent fasting and I love it. I only recently discovered this (last spring/summer when I was losing). And I feel less hungry throughout the day as I think it keeps my insulin levels lower. And little things matter! When I have coffee with milk versus coffee with half and half, I get way hungrier way earlier in the morning. That fat holds me. It costs me an extra 50 calories over whole milk calories in the morning, but saves me from a 200 calorie snack later in the day!  My typical day (right now) is coffee with half and half in the morning, a protein bar around noon for lunch and then a HUGE dinner - the only meal I make for the day anyway and it's the only meal we all sit down together for. This way I pretty much get to enjoy as much of it as I want. I don't feel deprived as I can eat a 700-800 calorie dinner without feeling guilty about it! Shortly before I got derailed a couple years ago, I was getting so hungry in the day, that I ate my allotted calories for the day before dinner, so I never got to enjoy dinner I prepared for the family or only got to eat bits of it. That stank!

6. I never eat back exercise calories. If I exercise for an hour, I do not eat more because of it. It just means I'll see more loss for the day. Unless, of course, I do feel hungry, but since exercise is an appetite suppressant for me, that's rare.

7. I work hard on trying to get enough sleep. If I can do that, it's easier to do all of the above!

And all of this should be lifelong because it's easy to follow and stick to - as long as I don't get seriously depressed or exhausted.

And, with that, the scale gave me a big drop today after holding pretty steady for days - great example of what I was talking about yesterday!

Restart 5/18/15:
Down 12.8 pounds

When you are relosing for the 3rd time in close succession

When I started this 5 years ago, I was all fanfare. I was going to do this. I was going to mark this. I was going to come clean with everything.

I knew I would stumble. I knew this would be a forever battle for me, but I truly didn't think I would completely fall apart - twice. I'm not "doing this" differently from before. I know what works for me. HOW I lost weight was not the reason I gained it back. Other factors came into play.

I'm now pretty convinced that HOW you lose weight doesn't really say anything about long term success (as I've been on boards where people have done it 50,000,000 different ways and their success rates are about equally the same). Only thing that REALLY matters is sticking with a plan once you get to goal. (Though a caveat to every plan can work for weight loss is that some plans are easier to stick to forever than others, but what works for me and what works for you can be very different!) You will only maintain losses if you adapt your lifestyle forever. I know I can eat a low carb diet forever. I just have to fix my head to WANT to stay on a low carb diet during dark months where I've been using it as a drug to get through the months I just want to SLEEP.

Other people don't need to change carb count, just overall calorie monitoring. Some people's natural eating was fine, but if they just through in a bit of activity daily, they can keep the weight down. Bottom line is, all of us who have weight issues which is often also food issues, have different tricks that work. But if you don't follow what you know works, don't expect to remain successful in keeping off the weight.

I wish I could eat intuitively, but if I could, I wouldn't have ever had a weight problem. Obviously, I need some tools to help me where my head cannot.

And for this journey, at least for now, I'm just going to track weight lost. I don't want to be fixed on a goal number. I just want to feel healthy and be healthy. "I" am not healthy at this weight. My BP is high - that alone is enough to work this downward. For now, everything else is fine, but for how long?

So... I keep chugging along - whittling downward.

Restart 5/18/15
Down: 7.6 pounds

Restless legs and trends I notice

I started to have problems with restless legs (RLS) just after my oldest son was born. I couldn't sleep because my legs were sooooo restless. It was so awful, but it went away.  I didn't experience it again until about halfway through the pregnancy with my second son. I was miserable and there was nothing I could do about it, or so I thought - no medication, anyway.

This time it didn't go away. I still had bouts of it. Things that tended to make it flare up was lack of sleep and sitting too much. Things got a bit worse as I got heavier.

Just after we moved to this new house, I started to have serious problems with it. I was having horrible sleep night after night. I learned a few yoga poses that helped (see here), but I was beginning to go crazy with it. But then when I started getting my fitness and weight in order, it disappeared except for rare occasions. I would only get it when I was super sleep deprived or I had way too much physical activity in the day.

With my regain, I've had some more problems, but nothing terrible. Two nights ago being the exception. I was waking up for what seemed constantly with restless legs. So, I did some looking. It seems to be random when I get the symptoms again, but now when I think about it more, there are triggers.

See here about some things you can/should change to help with RLS:

8 Lifestyle Tweaks for Restless Legs Syndrome

By Julie Edgar
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

1. Get hot and cold.

Take a warm bath or shower before you go bed to relax, says Jessica Vensel Rundo, MD, of the Cleveland Clinic Sleep Disorders Center. She also recommends using cold or warm compresses on your legs. The temperature of the compress may also distract your muscles if you’re feeling the tingly sensations of RLS.

2. Move and massage.

Janis Lopes, 73, learned she had RLS more than 25 years ago. Lopes, who runs an RLS support group in southern California, says she finds relief from restless legs by getting up and moving.

• Stretch your legs before bedtime. For instance, flex your ankles to stretch your calf muscles.
• Choose an aisle seat on a plane or in a theater. And then take advantage of it -- get up and move around.
• Massage your legs. It's a kind of "counter-stimulation" to the sensations of RLS, Vensel Rundo says.

3. Review your medications.

With your doctor, go over all the medications you take, including even those that don't need a prescription. 

Some allergy and cold medications, antidepressants, antipsychotic drugs, and anti-nausea drugs, for instance, may worsen RLS symptoms. There are often other options that you could try in their place.

4. Be active, but don't overdo it.

You need to be active, just like everyone else, for your best health. With RLS, you should avoid sudden changes in your activity level, such as suddenly starting to train for a marathon or quitting your usual routine. 

"People who have RLS function best with the same amount of activity daily," Asher says. Doing a lot more or less than that might worsen your RLS symptoms. 

5. Back off of caffeine.

Giving up coffee, chocolate, caffeinated sodas, and other caffeine-containing foods may help you wind down for better sleep. 

''If somebody is having bad symptoms of RLS, getting rid of caffeine isn't going to solve their problem," says neurologist Irving Asher, MD, of the University of Missouri Health System. "But if the case is mild, it may make a significant difference.''

6. Avoid alcohol.

It might help you fall asleep, but alcohol will also wake you up in the middle of the night. When that happens, Asher says, your restless legs may bother you even more.

7. Eat a healthy diet.

Everyone needs to do this, and if you have RLS, it's even more important. 

Some cases of RLS are linked to not having enough iron. Supplementing with iron may help. 

Magnesium supplements might also be a good idea, though it's not clear how it helps, Vensel Rundo says. Talk to your doctor before starting magnesium supplements, and about what dose, since too much magnesium can cause diarrhea.  

While you're at it, get all of your supplements on your medical record, even if products are natural and don't need a prescription. That way, your records are up to date and your doctor can watch out for any side effects.

8. Upgrade your sleep habits.

Check that you're doing everything you can to make your sleep the best it can be, starting tonight. 

• Go to bed at the same time each night. 
• Get up at the same time every day. 
• Finish eating 2-3 hours before bedtime, so you have time to digest. 
• Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and primed for sleep.

The times I have noticed recently that I have problems are when I'm seriously sleep deprived, too hot in bed, too active during the day, and drinking alcohol.

The other day I was gardening for 7 hours (at least). And at other times I was making lunch and dinner for the family. I was on my feet all day long. I should have slept great, but I didn't. Take a look:

I was up for an hour in the middle of the night and then sporadically later in the night. When I woke up I felt unrested and after such a long day on my feet working! It made no sense.

Yesterday I took it easier as I had several appointments to take my son and last night I crashed and slept great.

Notice the difference? And I only woke up around 2 am because my husband was coming to bed which disturbed me slightly for a few minutes.

So, I need to remember that exercise is good, very good for controlling restless legs, but TOO much is bad, bad, bad. Not that there's much I can do about it, but at least I can be aware of the consequences.

I hate RLS, but like most things we ail from as a society, I think it's mostly self-inflicted.

Saw my labs - not nearly as bad as I expected

For as long as I've ignored things, I'm surprised things aren't as bad as I thought they would be. But then, they've been ignored for about 8-9 months... not for YEARS like in the past.

My thyroid is low in all areas, so that needs to be addressed and is. The doctor's office called in the prescription at the end of the day yesterday, so I started it last night. (Yes you can do it at night too as long as you have an empty stomach).

My vitamin D is really low.
My Fasting Blood Sugars is slightly high
My cholesterol is moderately high and the "bad" cholesterol is high
And, of course, I know the blood pressure is high.

Everything should get back on track with taking the thyroid medicine except the Vitamin D. I just need more sunlight and a supplement.

The last time I was in "trouble" the numbers were way worse except the blood pressure. My blood pressure is the #1 indicator of my thyroid is adjusted or not - even slight differences affect it. And that isn't typical, but is typical for me. Even 2 years ago when my TSH went from 3.5 to 4.5 my blood pressure went from normal to too high, (around 170/100). So, the good news is that I can probably get an idea of how well adjusted my thyroid medication is by watching my blood pressure. Bad news is that it takes the thyroid much longer to regular than it does to get blood pressure to regulate.

So, that is good news. They other bit of good news is that I'm ready to get with the program again. I feel a new energy. I feel less despair. And it's been building for several weeks, but now... I'm seriously ready.

Yesterday I went and bought a new sports bra what fits and a few workout clothes that fit. As well, I cannot wear the same clothes I was wearing when I was 175 pounds as I can at 242 pounds now can I?

And I just want to GO DO IT. Can't yet because of blood pressure, but as soon as I get the go ahead for exercise, I will.

Also, I ate well and low carb yesterday and it was easy. I looked at my kids cookies and just put them away versus grabbing a couple.

You cannot imagine how good that feels to feel that I have some control again. Let's hope that it stays that way!

Can you keep a child from becoming obese?

Every day I keep hearing things about children and obesity. I hear about the push at schools to rid the cafeterias of vending machines that sell sodas and juices and dessert lines where kids can buy ice cream and the like.

And it is true that there are more overweight kids than ever before and it's becoming a world-wide problem. This summer, I saw more overweight European children than I have ever seen before and it was shocking. How can this be when kids move all the time?

Ah... do they move all the time? Today? No... they do not. But, that's a whole 'nother post in itself, but it definitely is adding to the obesity problem with youth today.

I look around at my younger son's classroom and other like grade classrooms and there are only 1-2 kids out of 50 that are slightly chubby. One is fairly significantly chubby (and she has been since I got to know her in kindergarten) and the second child is my own son. Though, he is on the borderline, better watch it, line. So, that is about the same number of kids with issues as it was when I was a kid. And when I say borderline, I mean borderline. Here is is this past summer: (and he's the same now and always):

Now, when I look at the high school kids when I drop off or pick up my teenaged son from school, I see a lot more heavier teens than when I was in high school. Girls especially. When I was in high school, I was one of the few that was slightly overweight. Now there are many and they are more overweight at younger ages.

So, yes, I agree it is happening and it is alarming. But what to do about it and can you do much about it?

With my two boys, they are on opposite ends of the spectrum with weight. My 16 year old son has always been thin. He is 6'2" tall and weighs 140 pounds. The pediatrician is watchful for him about getting too thin. She has told us to let him eat whatever and whenever he wants. He just needs to eat. We used to think it was the ADHD drugs that were keeping him thin, but he was thin before taking them and he's just as thin off of them. It's just his tendency. We have to press the issue to eat breakfast, to eat lunch and to eat an adequate dinner. Now, at 10 pm he'll go crazy with eating snacks and he tends to want garbage, so I try to temper that too, but at some point, he just needs calories for the day and some FAT as he likes very lean foods for the day and he still needs an adequate fat intake (and protein). Yes, he's the teen boy who loves salads and veggies and is not so keen on meat and other proteins.

Here is with wild hair this past summer. It's now long enough to wear in a pony tail (which he does always):

My nearly 8 year old son is the opposite. He's not heavy, but he has a tendency to get pudgy. The pediatrician is a bit watchful of him and too much weight gain. With him I try to temper the sweets and calorie dense foods that don't give him any nutritional value. Fortunately, he too is developing a real love for veggies and lean proteins, but his tendency is to eat a bit more than he needs. This I have to temper that with foods that are filling, but not calorie dense.

So, same household. Same parents of both kids and two kids with vastly different tendencies and needs. They might look alike as they both have copper colored, wavy hair and brown eyes and are tall. They are just separated by nearly 9 years; however, they have been night and day in nearly everything since birth and their weight tendencies are one of them.

It is hard to control food intake with children as how do you know how much they need? Are they having a growth spurt? Or are they just overeating? Are they really hungry or just think they are hungry?

Plus, I have read on weight loss forums of parents trying to help their kids with weight and it just backfires. Kids will find the M&Ms hidden and will then scarf them down, hiding it. Thus developing  the hiding of food tendencies early on. Or, when they get a bit older and have pocket change, spending that money on junk food they can't get at home.

My very fit and athletic physical therapist, now in his late 30s said that he grew up in a home where his father especially was the food police. He couldn't have anything. Then, when he got to college, he went crazy. He ate all the foods that were forbidden and gained 50 pounds on his small frame and short stature. He said it took him until he was in his late 20s to start realizing that he felt like crap and looked like crap and wanted to change. He said that now, ironically, he eats almost no junk, just like his dad wanted him to eat, but growing up he fought it and would sneak food at friends' houses, etc. And his story is not an isolated incident.

So what to do?

Well, what we've tried to do (and we are getting better and better about it) is to model good behavior about moderation and about movement. We always have good snacks in the house as well as not so good snacks. There is always fruit and easy to eat raw, veggies and snacks like nuts. We eat all our meals at home or packed from home. We sit together at meal times - always. And we don't make desserts part of the meal. They are for special occasions.

And we move. We take walks, we shovel our own driveway, mow our yard and do our own landscaping/gardening. We go to the gym, to the pool and ride bikes. A family day out is almost always a day spent doing something active (even when I was really fat this was true). We never take the day to go shopping, go to some food fair, etc. We're more likely to go hiking somewhere or the like.

Here are a couple family shots from this summer at a hike:

Our hope, is that they will grow up liking the taste of vegetables and proteins and to know that grains and simple sugars are not to be the staple of the diet. We hope that they will love to move and do things outdoors and won't be drawn to sitting in the movie theater eating junk food for 2 hours straight. As yes, when we 'do' see a movie, we never, ever get food to eat while watching.

I hope they learn, especially as they see me struggle with my weight, that I still enjoy my food, but that I tend to gain weight easily and I need to watch my portions, but I use exercise to help me maintain my weight too. I never, ever say, "I'm fat" in front of them. I never, ever criticize their size or other people's sizes and I try not to make it an issue of thin people are good and fat people are bad.  For me, I hope they see and realize, it's all about health, not about looks.

And I hope I never get preachy with them if they ever struggle with food or weight or lack of fitness. Our skinny teen likes to sit and do nothing - all. the. time. So, we do push him to be more active, but not in a punitive way or at least I hope that's what we're doing. My nearly 8 year old still bounces all over the place and we encourage it, not discourage it. We walk to and from  school whenever time and weather allows. We have ACTIVE Wii games (nothing where you sit and watch and twiddle thumbs). We take him to the gym with us where he can jump and have fun too. And he's always sweaty when we pick him up after an hour. And instead of offering him a calorie dense snack he loves when he's hungry, we try to offer him a filling. calorie light snack he loves, but he still gets his cookies and stuff too.

We're not perfect and we make mistakes and perhaps one day when they're older one or both of them will ask, "So, why did you let me eat cookies at all?" or, "Why did you force me to do X, Y or Z?" That just made me X... Who knows... but what I do know is that it's not so simple to control a child's weight as it might appear. Just as, how would you feel as an adult if someone told you you couldn't eat X, Y, or Z and had to eat A, B and C? and had to do THIS exercise at THIS time and so on. Can you see how you might try to circumvent the dictator? Well, why would a kid do differently?

Your state of mind and how you handle comments

I think any of us can be sensitive. I'm a woman and only know my perspective, but from what I see and hear and experience, the sensitivity thing seems to be much more a woman thing. At least it is in our household.

When I'm feeling low, lethargic, tired, worn down, I tend to take things pretty sensitively. Even if they are said in the least offensive, sweetest way, I would find a way to be sensitive about it.  Of course, monthly hormones can play into that big time too.

I notice it a lot on forums - some women take every comment as an insult - like everything. It's exhausting trying to say things in a way that they can't possibly take the wrong way. In the end, I just try to avoid such contact because it's a no win situation and too emotionally draining.

With myself, I notice that if I'm exercising well and regularly, I am much less sensitive. My mood is lifted, so I take things to mean as they were intended, or I take it lightly. I don't take them to my heart.  A good example of that is a comment my husband said last night.

So, last night my husband and I were getting ready for bed. We were both in the master bathroom brushing our teeth at our respective sinks. While in there, I started to get undressed so I could throw the dirty clothes down the nearby laundry chute. I was standing at the sink in my my underwear and bra while he was finishing with his teeth. I pointed to my tummy and the gazillion stretch marks and said jokingly, "My stomach and these stretch marks are like an Escher drawing. It's impossible to count the stretch marks because they twist and turn and connect with each other." Then, "how come you've never tried to count all the stretch marks on my tummy. Oh, I know... you would be up all night counting and wouldn't get any sleep."

I was playing around and just being silly - and he knew that. I started to put my robe on and when he was done with brushing his teeth he said, "I don't pay much attention to your tummy. I pay more attention to the more attractive parts of your body - which is the rest of your body. The rest of your body is beautiful." I gave him a kiss and we went to bed - me to zonk immediately, him to read for a bit.

I was thinking on it this morning and I think it was a really sweet thing to say. I like that he is so honest. He could have said, "Your tummy is fine." That would be lying. My tummy is a mess. And it's almost completely pregnancy related, but a bit from the loose skin too. But he basically told me, in a nice way, "Yes, your tummy is full of stretch marks and isn't beautiful, but I don't care. The rest of you is beautiful to me and I enjoy your body."

I also realized that if I were in a different frame of mind - not exercising, lethargic, sleep deprived, or hormonal, I would have heard what he said more like this, "Your stomach is ugly. I don't pay attention to it because it's gross. I only look at the non-gross parts of your body."

Big difference in ways of interpreting it, huh?

Glad that 95% of the time I'm in a good state of mind. And exercising regularly is a big reason I am in that good state of mind. The only times I tend to get in the more sensitive range nowadays is when I'm  hormonal. So, one or so days a month tops am I a bit touchy, and even then, it's more that I'm grumpy or weepy, not that I'm sensitive to comments.

But before I started exercising and losing weight? I was very, very sensitive to any comments about my body or weight. So insecure. I'm glad I'm over that!

Feeling like my new old self again

I think I've gotten most of the carbs crap out of my system. My gut is smaller and I'm feeling more energetic. I feel less weighed down and I look better. My husband noticed it too - my gut is visibly smaller even though I've only dropped 7 pounds in two weeks. Well, 7 pounds is a lot and about 4 of them were water, I suspect - mostly in the gut.

I have managed to get exercise 6 days a week so far and I want to keep that up. Even on my rest day, I would love it if I could fit in a walk, weather permitting, just to move and re-energize myself. I spend so much time sitting that moving with a purpose helps clear my head too.

I have come such a long way. I guess I realize it somewhat, but it's not until I am next to a new beginner that I realize, "wow, that was me a couple years ago!"  And when I see a beginner I try to encourage them and help them. I did that today in strength training class. We all have to start from somewhere and learning to do it right helps a lot in being able to keep up with it.

Ok... I'm tired. Looooong day. Off to bed! (at least sleep is good with good exercise too!)

So this thing about blood sugars

So, I was doing some reading on the A1C test and fasting numbers for people who have issues with their blood sugars and it seems there is more to it than what doctors typically do. Here is info on the test from the Mayo clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/a1c-test/MY00142

First of all, my chart no longer says that I'm diabetic, pre-diabetic or anything. I didn't have two tests that said I had high blood sugars - just one 'officially'. Yet, I know I have issues with my blood sugar. It's only because of what I'm doing with my diet and exercise that I have gotten my blood sugars in a good place. If I were to eat pasta and bread and rice and other simple sugars, my blood sugars would be high and I would be considered diabetic. I'm almost 100% positive of that. But, the doctor says I'm not diabetic. Really?

It used to be that doctors only would give the fasting blood sugars test to check for diabetes. If it was over 100, then they would call for more tests. Then it became more common to give the A1C test that checks for how much sugar has attached to red blood cells over the blood cell's life span of about 3 months. While this is much more accurate than a one time fasting blood sugar value, it seems it's not that accurate either. Why? because people with diabetes have shorter living red blood cells, so they don't typically live to be 3 months (too much sugar bonded to them? Other damage?). People who control their sugars better, having longer living red blood cells, so they might live for 4 months, say, and therefore the red blood cells have a longer time to absorb/stick to sugar molecules. So, someone could have a high A1C, but not have blood sugar issues. This doctor says the only reliable way to be sure is to do daily blood sugar testing after meals.

Check out this link that explains more: http://chriskresser.com/why-hemoglobin-a1c-is-not-a-reliable-marker

Now, I don't believe everything I read/hear, but it makes sense. An average blood cell lives to be 3 months. But is it the same for everyone? No. How can it be? And, even things like carrying a sickle cell anemia gene can throw off the tests, pregnancy, blood transfusions, anemia, etc.

Also, people can manipulate the tests. If someone has diabetes and they know (like I knew) that I would be getting a blood test every three months, they also know that during that time some/half of their red blood cells would die. So, a person could eat clean for a month of that 3 month window and drastically lower their A1C result. Eat higher sugars for 60 days, eat less sugars for 30 days and there you go, a lower test score which will keep your doctor off your back. But who are you fooling? And why???? It's about your health, right? And not fooling a doctor or test?

Basically, it's another tool to be used, but the best tool is to take blood readings post meals and even this isn't that accurate as the test strips don't have to be that accurate - they could be 20 points off either direction and still be considered accurate enough statistically. But, it's the best affordable way to check.

So, according to everything in my file now. I'm not diabetic. But....I am. I know that if I eat pasta and rice and such - especially without proteins to accompany the meal/snack and if I were to check my blood sugars 1 and 2 hours after eating, my blood sugar levels would be considered too high to be 'normal'. I don't get huge spikes, but I do get over 120 2 hours after a meal and it should be closer to 100 if I 'truly' don't have blood sugar issues. When I eat a meal low in carbs, my 2 hour post meal blood sugar levels are about 80 and below. Obviously, my body can't handle sugars that well.

What this all means is that I know how to control my blood sugar issues, but I do have issues with them. I just caught them early and can control with diet and exercise so that I'm healthy. And, if I had eaten like this all along, I wouldn't have ever known I have issues with blood sugars as no test would have picked it up, but then again, if I had eaten like this all along, I probably wouldn't have become insulin resistant anyway. I did this to myself by being a carb addict.

Can I live like this the rest of my life? Yes I can, but if ever my insulin resistance increases and it would mean giving up fruits and such, I would then look to taking medications to help control my sugars as then it would start getting into missing important nutrients in my diet too if I gave up fruits. Rice, pasta, breads don't give much if any true nutrition. So giving those up is really a non issue.

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 185.6

Whe you live with an older person

When you live with an older person, you see the aging process more completely. I have known my mother in law quite intimately for 18 years, but have learned all the ins and outs in the last almost 2 years since we joined households. And it isn't pretty.

So, my thoughts, way back in my youth was, "thin is where it's at". "If I were just thinner..." Well, you know what? My mother in law was thin all her life until she moved to the United States. And I mean t.h.i.n. And, while she lived in Europe, in a center city, she walked everywhere and stayed relatively in good condition, but since moving here, her health has deteriorated quite a bit and her weight has gone up.

The big thing that happened is that she stopped walking all the time. Most of the US is for driving only. You have to drive to the store, the mall, the library, etc. The most walking you get is in a parking lot and even then, people park as close as they can. And honestly, I can't blame anyone because parking lot walking is awful walking - boring, stinky and hot in summer.

Second, she's always had a sweet tooth and never had to watch her weight, so she doesn't know how or isn't willing to change her eating to control her weight, blood pressure, or her cholesterol and blood sugar. She has significant blood pressure issues, borderline  cholesterol issues and is beginning to have blood sugar issues all of those things could be better if she exercised and if she dropped 15-20 pounds.

Now, she will say, 'it's my birth certificate" and part of that is true. She's 76 years old and you would expect some health problems here and there and that things would be slowing down. But, I also see these older women at the gym and our neighbors around us and I see how different it can be.

We live on a cul de sac with 10 houses. There are two young families, there's us, then three families are  almost empty nester families and the rest are all retired or semi retired. Those four families that are retired are original owners from 1967 and they are still out golfing every day, taking care of their lawn, walking all over the place and are super, duper active  in their late 70s and early 80s. Our neighbor next to us has severe osteoporosis, but she's out there weeding, shoveling snow and raking and she's about to turn 90 if she hasn't already.

There's a lady I see at the gym. She' has to be 65 and man, I want to be her now, let alone when I get to her age. I look at that and I realize: It's not about being thin. It's about being active. Active is the key. When you are active, you stay trimmer, your mind stays sharper and you live a healthier life.

I could have dropped this weight without exercise. Exercise just makes it easier, but it's the exercise that has made me much healthier and will be what keeps me healthier. Now of course, the weight loss put a lot less strain on my body and just that added years to my life and quality to my life, but it's the exercise that took it up to really good quality of life.

And that part I have to keep if I want to be like our neighbors around us and not like my mother in law. I'm watching my mother in law deteriorate a bit more every year. She was obviously very bright as she's a medical doctor who then specialized in psychiatry and neurology and she was very good at what she did. Yet now she resists learning anything new and forgets all the new things she learns.

I see with each illness how much weaker she becomes and never quite fully recovers. I see how one medicine keeps needing to be added after another to keep her healthy. And what's even scarier, is that she led a pretty healthy life compared to almost any American I can compare her to. She always ate good quality food and was active until 15-20 years ago. She has lived her life much better than I have ever lived mine until very recently. What was I thinking??? How much denial was I in?

So, this isn't only a weight loss journey. This is changing my life around and keeping it turned around forever. I want to be one of those old ladies who is up and going until I drop. I know there are a lot of things I can't control for, but I can at least do my part.

And my part included getting to the gym at 8 pm last night after being home with a kid with flu all day and will mean getting to the gym tonight after another similar flu infested day.

Stats for 10/5/11:

Beginning weight: 255.6  Now: 181.6 (74 pounds lost)
Exercise total hours in 2011: 274
Total miles walked in 2011: 808/1000