I hate having BMI stuff shoved down my throat!

Once a week the app I use (Mynetdiary)  to track foods, exercise, and weight gives me a little "congrats!" notice. Last night this popped up:

Sure, it was great to see I've lost 6.6 pounds this past week after not losing hardly anything in over a month (water weight anyone!?!?!). And I'm ok with it showing how much farther it is for me to get to my goal - another 51 pounds basically. (today it is under 50 pounds to go!!!) What I'm not cool with is it telling me that I need to lose another 66.8 pounds to be within the BMI range that is considered normal for me.

It was trying to attain that normal status a few years ago, as I was close, but not quite there, that led to so much frustration. I was pushing so hard. I was doing super intense workouts. I was counting every single calorie that passed my lips. And I still wasn't there. I was going for a "athletic" goal for body fat percentage (25% or lower). I was so close! I was at 26%. I was working so extremely hard to achieve the unattainable goal. I got to my initial "goal" in 12 months and lost 90 pounds. It took me 7 more months to lose 6 more pounds and I was still 4 pounds shy of my new goal before my body succumbed to several injuries due to overuse.  It was 6 months of constant, intense workouts (6 days a week) and watching every morsel for 6 lousy pounds. And I was hungry all the freaking time. Every day was this intense mental battle to not consume more calories because every extra bit of food would mean it would take that much longer to get to my goal. BUT according to this app I was still 11 pounds over my "normal" top weight I should be. Grrrr....

Now, I do want to be more fit and I do want to push myself, but reminding me of an unattainable BMI for me is just cruel. That, and it's mean to say my goal isn't good enough. Isn't my goal of being healthy and fit and just a bit over the ideal BMI far, far better than being 100 pounds overweight? Do I need to reach perfection to be considered "OK"? That is ridiculous!!! Of course I don't!!!

So, I'm ignoring normal BMI as much as I can. I'm trying to put it out of my head. Then I get these weekly reminders that I have to lose this much more to get to a normal bmi. Well screw you Mynetdiary!!! (And I will be writing to the company). I love your app for everything else, but this sucks!!!

Comparing this weight loss to the one in 2011

Ugh.  I had written a long post and just needed to grab the image.  I lost it all!  I have a very hate relationship with my iPad recently!  

Anyway.... In 2011 I did a lot of things to document and celebrate losses.  I took measurements.  I took photos. I celebrated each 10 pounds lost visually with each 10 pounds representing a pizza slice "disappearing" from a pizza pie.  It was all new and it was a big deal.

It's still a big deal, but I know what to expect,  I know how my body will change.  I know what I will look like and what sizes I can expect to wear at each given weight.  A lot of the excitement is gone in this weight loss.

I did decide though to document this loss compared to the one in 2011.  I have learned a lot since then and I know what works for me so much better now.  I've done a lot of fine tuning.  It's easier and I really think I found something I can do forever. 

 I am not competing with that effort. Each day is its own day. There were months I had it really together, and months I struggled. It will be that way again this time too. But for now, I can definitely see how this different approach and more fine tuned approach really differed initially at least! 

Lost 7 pounds the first month in 2011. lost 20 this time in 2015.  Weight is about the same - just 8 pounds different starting weight.

How did I miss it? One month on plan!

Was YESTERDAY! So... today I will mark one month and one day!

So, I finally got my act together on a random day as it just finally "clicked". I was ready. I've been meaning to be ready for the previous 6 weeks, but wasn't quite there yet and then it really was, "Today is the day." (Depression finally fully lifted?)

In that month I have eaten on plan (within calorie goal) and it's been easy peasy to follow so far. Even on days I worked 12-13 hours at work (this past Monday and Wednesday and Thursday), I didn't even come close to going off plan.

Even when my mom had a heart attack and I was dealing with a lot of emotions, I didn't go off plan.

Exercise is still touch and go, but I'm doing more and moving more intentionally both with working in the house and in the garden, but also taking more walks. And as we get the craft room and rec room finished up (which is movement for sure - my hamstrings and glutes were hurting for DAYS from last weekend's efforts), I will have more at home options for exercise. I even ordered a couple of my favorite step aerobic videos in DVD form and asked and received recs for some new stuff to do!

The scale keeps working its way down and so does my blood pressure (last night's reading being the lowest yet - 106/65 (with BP meds) and I am getting a bit smaller. Yesterday some slip on shoes I haven't worn in a month were loose around the foot, so that was also a good sign.

Of course, nothing like an unflattering photo to show me how far I have to go and how heavy I had become (again). (Taken yesterday) I never look like a small woman (as I'm not), but now I look huge! UGH!!! But... it can only get better and it is getting better. One day at a time.

So, I began this reboot on 5/18/15. I've lost 20.2 pounds (slowed down this past week as my monthly visitor added some water weight). NO WAY will I lose that much this coming month - I'll be happy with half that!!! But it is a great start - a motivating start to taking this weight off, hopefully for the very last time.

I can accept that perhaps in winter I might gain a bit and then need to work some off in spring as I am hungrier and more tired in winter (and antidepressants probably won't be a miracle drug) but "some" shouldn't be TONS as it is right now.

OK, today is my day off (and much needed), so I'm off to go clean and organize and MOVE!