Tuesday, September 10, 2013

On the way down at this weight, I felt so thin. On the way up, I feel so fat

Perspective, perspective, perspective.

I feel huge. None of my clothes fit me. I had to buy a few things over the summer to get me by (as I was at my thinnest last summer when I bought cothes). I look at my fall and winter wardrobe and I won't be able to fit ANY of it. I will need to buy a few interim pieces while I go back down.

My cockiness of getting rid of everything is biting me in the butt, but if I were to do it again, I would do the same - not keep fat clothes.

But I feel huge. TRULY huge, but at this same weight coming down I felt so svelte. My perspective has changed. Even though I was at the higher weight for decades, I got used to the lower weights realllllly fast.

I guess it's good that I hate this weight and want to get out of these numbers, but it's also not good to feel so "yuck" about my looks. And I HATE that I have to go buy some bigger jeans and shirts - even if I can find them used. I hate the idea of taking up room in my dresser and closet with them! And I stare at all my beautiful clothes are that are 2-3 sizes too small for me.

I KNOW I will get back down into those sizes. Of that I have no doubt as I am back on track and have the motivation to do it, but it will take time and all because I stopped caring there for awhile.

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