Prom, Pomp, and Progress

This past weekend was my older son's HS prom. His school only does senior prom and he wasn't sure he was going to go, but a group of his friends talked him into it. They all went as a group, though they were loosely paired up (some as friends, some as actual couples).

This was a big to-do for us as my 17 year old son had NO formal attire. We looked at the price of rental tuxes and decided it made more sense to buy a suit and the rest than to spend almost half as much for a one day rental as he will wear the suit again in the next few years.

So, a couple weeks ago we went shopping for shoes, socks, suit, dress shirt, tie, and cuff links. We got a couple ties and a couple shirts as he has graduation the following week and they need to wear a light/white shirt and dark based tie.

I never went to prom. No one asked me and I was too chicken to ask anyone else. My husband, being from Europe, never had prom, so this was a whole new things for us. But it was good. My son is an extremely logically based, non-extravagant kind of person, so it wasn't an overly expensive adventure, especially when you consider it was entertainment for 12 hours - 4:30 pm to 4:30 am, but even for him he had to weigh the, "how much am I paying to go to this thing and is it worth it?"

He looked so sharp. His grandmother was smothering him (and driving him nuts), but she still had a quibble, "If only you had a masculine haircut." Dude, he has GORGEOUS, super thick, copper colored wavy hair that all the girls (and some guys) can't keep their hands out of and are so jealous of. And he always wears it pulled back so it almost looks as if he has short hair. Plus, really? It's 2014.... why do men STILL need to wear their hair short but some ridiculous standards and WHY does it matter? There are so many ways kids can try to stand out. I'm happy he chose to grow his hair versus wanting tattoos or piercings!

Anyway, here he is:

Everyone says he looks like his dad, which he does, but he truly is a good mix of the two of us. He has my husband's build and height, eyes and eyebrows, but he has a lot of my features too, like hairline, smile, and smaller, finer details. Basically yes, he has two parents and he's not a clone of either of us.

Now is his last week of classes. Then next week it's graduation. We aren't doing anything big for graduation. He barely decided to even attend his graduation, but he finally admitted he might miss seeing all his friends.  As you can see, we aren't big into pomp and circumstance and big "to-dos" in this family.

And now that I'm touched on prom and pomp, let me talk about progress.  On Friday when the kids were getting their photos taken for prom a lot of the parents were there. I was the heaviest mom by far. NONE of the other moms were overweight. I'm always extremely aware of that. I hate being the fattest in a group!

But progress is happening. I went down a bit more. I'm now at 225.4. I can definitely see it in my face and I can feel it in my knees and tailbone that I'm carrying much less weight. The other sign or progress that I'm getting smaller is the skirt I bought to "get by" this spring is fitting much looser. I broke down and bought a size 16 skirt with a bit of stretch. I have been wearing it every week to teach Sunday school for the last 2.5 months - just changing the top week to week. Well, when I bought the skirt, it wasn't tight, but it "fit". Now, it can spin around me as I don't stretch the material at all. I probably have 3-4 weeks left to wear it at all and then it will be unwearable.

I'm not quite sure what to do with fat clothes. I have NO PLAN to ever regain, but I felt that way last time too. Part of me feels I should keep a few "what if" basics - like this basic skirt. But I don't know how I really feel about it.

I also just inherited 3 pairs of pants from my mother in law who has dropped 11 pounds the past few months. She was wearing size 14s (and some 12s depending on the brand) and so she can't wear them any more. They fit me perfectly, so I have, for now, a few pairs of jeans if I need them. However, with summer being here soon, I'm not sure how much use I'll get out of them before needing to donate them.

She is now solidly in size 12s. I also know she weighs 157 pounds. Man, how differently we are built. I wore 10s at 170-180 pounds and at 165 I was starting to wear 8s. She was 169-172 when she wore those 14s. I am 225. Weird, isn't it? And I DO NOT have small hips!

OK, I should be gardening before all the plants in pots croak. Ugh... no desire to dig in the dirt today!

How we abuse our bodies and it shows

Today I was at Zumba class again. It's a great place to people watch!

In that class, again, all ages, all ethnicities and even some men.

What I notice is this. Once we get flawed, few of us go back to the 'before' status.

Now, let me expand on this a bit. Let's go back to high school. And I'm not even talking about high school today where there are more obese teens, but let's go back to when I was a teen - so about 25 year ago! (EEEEK!)

Most every girl looked like this in the late 80s. Ah prom (of which I never went, maybe that's a good thing now that I see photos:

Most girls had flat tummies, nice arms, nice bodies, period. Age them 25 years and how many would wear sleeveless now? or form fitting tight? Probably not many.

I look around the gym and I see a lot of women around my age and nearly none of us have those same firm bodies. We have poochie stomaches or flabby arms or saggy butt or something and I'm not even talking about the ones that are overweight, but the average women in the room.

In all the time I've been going to the gym and taking classes. I think I've seen maybe 3-4 women out of a couple hundred that didn't have some trouble spot (some of us have more than one).

And those that don't have trouble spots seem to be the people who never got unfit or overweight. Or, they were super lucky and were able to get to their former body with lots and lots of serious work.

This got me to wondering. How do we develop these trouble spots if we didn't have them in our teens?

Is it pregnancy? Well, there are tons of stars/models who bounce right back from pregnancy. That can't be it, can it?

Something happens to us that I don't know what. As young women in the 40s and 50s they looked like this:

But now they probably look like this:

I remember seeing photos of when my grandmother was young and comparing that to the woman I knew. Could it be the same person? I see it with my mother in law too.

But some people never seem to get "that" way. Like these women:

This woman here is the same woman in the 40s and currently. She's over 80. A model then and a model again. Her secret? Pilates, Yoga and being fit - always.

This woman below? You have to watch the clip with her interview. A female body builder at 75 and DANG she looks good! Now, she didn't start working out until she was 56, but from the photos I see, she was never heavy either, but she also said she was very sedentary. That is so serious, serious muscle! You can read more about her here. 

So why do some women get all flabby and saggy and become the old grandma type? While other stay trim and pretty. Dang, I would look to look at any age like Helen Mirren!

Mirren in her youth:

 And her recently:

Now seriously. 67??? Dang... Though... angle does make a difference. This one isn't as flattering, but still much better than most 67 year olds I see:

And how does she explain her rocking body that won her Best Body of the year in 2011 in an LA Fitness poll when she was 66:

So just how is the Oscar winner rocking a healthy, fit body when the rest of us half her age are struggling to get similar results? Certainly, genetics play a role, but Mirren has also revealed that she keeps it simple. "I've never done anything to excess. I've never drunk or eaten too much. It helps to stay balanced," she told People magazine in 2008. 

 

"I go through phases of exercising, if I start getting puffy when I go upstairs, I’ll force myself back into minimalist exercise," she said. "I’m a great believer in the Canadian Air Force exercises because they only take 15 minutes…I’ve gone through many diets that are also very boring. You stop eating, and that’s what makes you lose weight: not eating. But as you get older, losing weight doesn’t make your body look better, don’t you think?"

 

She also has another weapon — Nintendo's Wii Fit. 

 

"The Wii is fun, and it's infinitely varied. You can hula, jog, yoga, step, all in one session. You need never get bored as every day you can tailor a new workout. It challenges you, and you do it at home, so nobody need see you in those old yoga pants and torn T-shirt. It's my new best friend,"says Mirren.

I highlighted the part that I think is key, "I've never done anything to excess. I've never drunk or eaten too much. It helps to stay balanced."

Once you get out of balance, your body doesn't return to the way it was before. That's my thoughts on it anyway.

My husband's aunt is 67, same as Helen Mirren and her body looks as good (if not better) than Helen Mirren's body. She's never formally exercised, but she walks everywhere and walks briskly, purposefully. She watches what she eats. She never smoked or drank or gained weight. She also doesn't eat sweets because she doesn't like them. Her body shows it. She's taken care of it always. And she got lucky in the pregnancy department as she didn't get stretch marks. 

Me on the other hand, I show all kinds of signs of former abuse of the body. I can get super fit (which I'm not yet) and drop all this weight, but the effects are there from the neglect and abuse. As they are for most of us. This one is not my body, but it looks a lot like mine (I just don't have the surgical scar on the tummy). How sad that my body doubles are usually found in photos for before a tummy tuck!  Nice way to feel good about my body, "We can cut it all off and you can be in pain and pay us thousands and thousands of dollars!"

If only I would have always treated my body well. But, I see most of us haven't and don't. At least I've started to turn things around to prevent further damage (I hope), but I wish I would have learned the lesson at 18 and not 41.