My family is riddled with people with heart problems. Basically nothing else, but heart problems. People don't live long enough to develop other health problems, essentially.
My grandparents, uncles, parents. No one is spared. I know this. I've always known this. Yet? Here I am very overweight and not as active/fit as I should be. My diet is pretty good, but that's only half (if that) of the battle of taking care of my heart.
My mother is 67 years old. She just had a massive heart attack and is in the hospital recovering. She's had one stent put in and will need another. Blockage was near or at 100% for a couple of arteries. This is after her having bypass surgery 6-7 years ago for one side of her heart when the blockage was at/near 100%.
My father died at the age of 42 of a heart attack.
What the hell am I doing? What are so many of us doing? Why are we so nonchalant about our health? Why, once we are out of puberty, do we still feel invincible? That it can't happen to us? To ME?
Yes, I've been working on it for 5 years. I haven't given up (long term) for all this time, but the thought of DYING obviously isn't enough for me to pull me out of the funk I get into when I simply don't care enough to try.
I'm just being stupid, careless and selfish. And why does it take these crises to figure that out? And for how long will it keep me jolted to do better for myself?????
