I was supposed to go to step class this morning. Instead, I took a nap. I never take naps, but sleep was pretty bad last night and has been bad for a few days. My youngest son was still sleeping (he must have been up much of the night), so I decided to sleep too. I've been up for 4 hours and I still feel asleep. I sure hope I'm not fighting something.
To make up for my laziness, I'll definitely work out in the basement tonight. I have a combo bodystep and bodypump class tomorrow morning and I 'think' I'll try to squeeze in a spinning class on Sunday morning before I have to go into Virginia to teach Sunday school.
Would love to share something terribly insightful today, but I'm just not feeling it. Can't believe it's the last day of September, but I know it has to be when I look out the window and see all the downed leaves and the firebush starting to turn red. This year is flying by!
Editing to add: and a migraine is coming on. I knew something was off today. So much for jumping around in the basement - a dark room with a cold washcloth is probably what will happen soon.
Stats for 9/30/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.8
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Being the only healthy one!
These past few months have been horrible in my household with people getting sick. First it was the 6 year old getting a flu and then a secondary ear infection. Just as he got better, my older son got a flu which messed up our vacation plans.
Then, just before school starts my older son flipped over his handlebars on his bike and then three days later developed pneumonia, missing the first week of school. Then, just as he was better, my husband got pneuomonia, missing a week of work.
And now, two days after my mother in law is back from her 5 week vacation, she is having a diverticulitis attack and needs to go to the doctor. On the day that the kids don't have school and I was going to go out with them.
While I'm glad I haven't gotten sick. I've had to be handmaid so much this summer that my patience for it is gone. It's been nearly nonstop since mid July and I can't take it any more! That I've been able to keep some semblance of a fitness routine is amazing and that my diet hasn't crashed and burned is twice as amazing. I guess I have determination!
Today will be studio cycling. See, I chose it this time. Not that it was the only thing I could do today (though that's almost true). I chose it over Zumba class, but I might change my mind later!
Stats for 9/29/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.4
Then, just before school starts my older son flipped over his handlebars on his bike and then three days later developed pneumonia, missing the first week of school. Then, just as he was better, my husband got pneuomonia, missing a week of work.
And now, two days after my mother in law is back from her 5 week vacation, she is having a diverticulitis attack and needs to go to the doctor. On the day that the kids don't have school and I was going to go out with them.
While I'm glad I haven't gotten sick. I've had to be handmaid so much this summer that my patience for it is gone. It's been nearly nonstop since mid July and I can't take it any more! That I've been able to keep some semblance of a fitness routine is amazing and that my diet hasn't crashed and burned is twice as amazing. I guess I have determination!
Today will be studio cycling. See, I chose it this time. Not that it was the only thing I could do today (though that's almost true). I chose it over Zumba class, but I might change my mind later!
Stats for 9/29/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.4
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Why are we so private about weight?
And I'm asking myself that as much as anyone else. Why do we feel it's a private matter? When it's something anyone can see if we weigh too much or too little?
Even if we don't say a word, people will start noticing changes in eating habits, exercise habits and definitely will start to notice weight loss beyond a certain point. I know I struggled with it myself - do I keep it to myself or do I open up about my struggles with weight? In the end I decided I could be stronger and more accountable if I was open about it (hence the blog). What if I failed? Well, I'm human. I knew it was possible I would fail. I've tried this before and failed, but I figured, I had a much stronger chance of making it work with being open than by being closed. And if I failed, well, people would understand. At least most people would and definitely anyone who has tried to lose weight before would get it.
Maybe we want to keep it private because it's admitting a weakness if we admit we are fat? "Yes, I have a problem with food." or "Yes, everyone I am aware that I am fat and I don't like it." Maybe we all live in a world where we pretend that we are OK with being overweight? Underfit? Though... I have yet to meet anyone who was overweight who liked being overweight. I have yet to meet someone who would choose being overweight over being an ideal or a better weight than they are now. Does admitting that mean that we are weak? Does somehow admitting we know we are overweight also makes us admit we are too lazy or too scared or too overwhelmed to fix the problem? Does ignoring the weight somehow give us permission to ignore it, really? Are we fooling anyone?
Now, I will never, ever be judgmental about someone and their weight. Ever. I don't care if I was able to lose all this weight. It won't matter if I manage to keep it off forever. I will never, ever judge someone and their weight - period. Why? Because it is a personal battle and because it's different for each and every person. Changing an entire lifestyle is not easy. If it were, then we would be recreating ourselves all the time. There are years of unlearning to do and that is different from person to person. Plus, each person's body is different too and each of us will find it harder or easier to maintain different weights with differing ease. Because, it's a mind game too. My husband can go forever without eating a sweet. I can barely go a day. He doesn't have those demons to fight. I do. So how can I compare what I deal with to anyone else? Their demons could be so much bigger than mine.
Though, I also think that keeping things so hush-hush about weight makes those demons stronger. Maybe if we were more open, we would find better support and more help for us all to make better decisions.. but then again, maybe not. I hear over and over again about unsolicited advice and what works for one person might not work for another. I know I had to find what worked for me. Can't say it would work for anyone else but me either.
Stats for 9/28/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.6
Exercise total hours in 2011: 272
Total miles walked in 2011: 799/1000
Even if we don't say a word, people will start noticing changes in eating habits, exercise habits and definitely will start to notice weight loss beyond a certain point. I know I struggled with it myself - do I keep it to myself or do I open up about my struggles with weight? In the end I decided I could be stronger and more accountable if I was open about it (hence the blog). What if I failed? Well, I'm human. I knew it was possible I would fail. I've tried this before and failed, but I figured, I had a much stronger chance of making it work with being open than by being closed. And if I failed, well, people would understand. At least most people would and definitely anyone who has tried to lose weight before would get it.
Maybe we want to keep it private because it's admitting a weakness if we admit we are fat? "Yes, I have a problem with food." or "Yes, everyone I am aware that I am fat and I don't like it." Maybe we all live in a world where we pretend that we are OK with being overweight? Underfit? Though... I have yet to meet anyone who was overweight who liked being overweight. I have yet to meet someone who would choose being overweight over being an ideal or a better weight than they are now. Does admitting that mean that we are weak? Does somehow admitting we know we are overweight also makes us admit we are too lazy or too scared or too overwhelmed to fix the problem? Does ignoring the weight somehow give us permission to ignore it, really? Are we fooling anyone?
Now, I will never, ever be judgmental about someone and their weight. Ever. I don't care if I was able to lose all this weight. It won't matter if I manage to keep it off forever. I will never, ever judge someone and their weight - period. Why? Because it is a personal battle and because it's different for each and every person. Changing an entire lifestyle is not easy. If it were, then we would be recreating ourselves all the time. There are years of unlearning to do and that is different from person to person. Plus, each person's body is different too and each of us will find it harder or easier to maintain different weights with differing ease. Because, it's a mind game too. My husband can go forever without eating a sweet. I can barely go a day. He doesn't have those demons to fight. I do. So how can I compare what I deal with to anyone else? Their demons could be so much bigger than mine.
Though, I also think that keeping things so hush-hush about weight makes those demons stronger. Maybe if we were more open, we would find better support and more help for us all to make better decisions.. but then again, maybe not. I hear over and over again about unsolicited advice and what works for one person might not work for another. I know I had to find what worked for me. Can't say it would work for anyone else but me either.
Stats for 9/28/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.6
Exercise total hours in 2011: 272
Total miles walked in 2011: 799/1000
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
How easy it is to miss exercise
I really make a conscious choice to exercise. I really try to get 6 days a week, but it more often than not ends up being 5 days a week due to schedule issues. Well, this week, it will end up four days unless I actually do bounce around in the basement tonight.
So, this is what happened. I exercised Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday last week. There are very few classes offered on Sunday and the ones I want to take interfere with my trip into Virginia every Sunday morning. So, no exercise Sunday. Monday, yesterday, I worked all day on curtains - from 11 am until 9 pm last night - with setting it up, doing it and cleaning it all up. (made dinner in there too). Too tired to jump around in the basement. Today, I have to clean up the house (big time) as my mother in law is coming home. My kitchen is a wreck and there is laundry to be folded in the mudroom (fun things like socks and underwear - others are put away). Then I have to drive to Virginia to get her and then the long commute back. Of course then there's dinner and talking with her about her trip and today is basically written off.
Voila, like that, I've missed exercising 3 days in a row and that time just sped by! It could so easily turn into a week, a month. It is so easy to get sidetracked. Now, missing 3 days isn't that big of a deal, but getting 3 days of exercise in still takes effort. Missing those days is easy! Maybe not a lifestyle change yet?
Ok, about to start round two of getting kids ready for school. This will be fun when I go back to work and need to get myself ready in that time too! Yikes! (Not looking forward to the morning rush!) Job hunting starts in earnest in October!
Stats for 9/27/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.6 (losing some of that water weight!)
So, this is what happened. I exercised Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday last week. There are very few classes offered on Sunday and the ones I want to take interfere with my trip into Virginia every Sunday morning. So, no exercise Sunday. Monday, yesterday, I worked all day on curtains - from 11 am until 9 pm last night - with setting it up, doing it and cleaning it all up. (made dinner in there too). Too tired to jump around in the basement. Today, I have to clean up the house (big time) as my mother in law is coming home. My kitchen is a wreck and there is laundry to be folded in the mudroom (fun things like socks and underwear - others are put away). Then I have to drive to Virginia to get her and then the long commute back. Of course then there's dinner and talking with her about her trip and today is basically written off.
Voila, like that, I've missed exercising 3 days in a row and that time just sped by! It could so easily turn into a week, a month. It is so easy to get sidetracked. Now, missing 3 days isn't that big of a deal, but getting 3 days of exercise in still takes effort. Missing those days is easy! Maybe not a lifestyle change yet?
Ok, about to start round two of getting kids ready for school. This will be fun when I go back to work and need to get myself ready in that time too! Yikes! (Not looking forward to the morning rush!) Job hunting starts in earnest in October!
Stats for 9/27/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 183.6 (losing some of that water weight!)
Monday, September 26, 2011
So, while I'm in my monthly stall out, my musings
I should be downstairs ironing, pinning and sewing as my mother in law is coming back tomorrow and I haven't finished her curtains - a project I've been dragging my feet on for months and months. Why is it so hard for me just to do it??? (Not like me usually!)
Anyway, I'm in my monthly stall-out and I managed to keep all 4 pounds of water weight for another day. Fun stuff! What is interesting though, is that I had a higher calorie day on Saturday. My aim for most days is to eat between 1400-1500 calories. On that day I ate about 2200-2300 which with exercising that day puts me at maintenance range, and really, with all the working I was doing around the house that day, still should be at a loss for the day (as yes, standing and working on your feet all day is not sedentary!)
That next day, yesterday, I was not hungry - at all. I had tea in the morning and then nothing until 1 pm when I had a slice of cake at a meeting. Then I had a snack at 4:30 pm (a protein bar) and then nothing until dinner at 6:30 pm when I had a bit of chicken breast and some peppers and tomato slices. I ended the day consuming about 750 calories and I still felt so full!!!
So far this morning, I have had a yogurt and fruit smoothie and a protein bar and I am very, very full. I probably won't eat again until 3 pm or so and then we'll see. What's up with that? is all the water bloating affecting my feeling of being full overall? Is it that I've eaten more carbs and my body isn't used to digesting them (my stomach felt awful yesterday). it's really weird!
Not sure if I'll fit in formal exercise today - I actually feel like jumping around in teh basement and might do that tonight. I just have to finish these curtains as I cannot stand be harassed any more. And I don't blame her - she's only been waiting about a year for them! (Yep, that's bad!)
Stats for 9/26/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 185.0
Anyway, I'm in my monthly stall-out and I managed to keep all 4 pounds of water weight for another day. Fun stuff! What is interesting though, is that I had a higher calorie day on Saturday. My aim for most days is to eat between 1400-1500 calories. On that day I ate about 2200-2300 which with exercising that day puts me at maintenance range, and really, with all the working I was doing around the house that day, still should be at a loss for the day (as yes, standing and working on your feet all day is not sedentary!)
That next day, yesterday, I was not hungry - at all. I had tea in the morning and then nothing until 1 pm when I had a slice of cake at a meeting. Then I had a snack at 4:30 pm (a protein bar) and then nothing until dinner at 6:30 pm when I had a bit of chicken breast and some peppers and tomato slices. I ended the day consuming about 750 calories and I still felt so full!!!
So far this morning, I have had a yogurt and fruit smoothie and a protein bar and I am very, very full. I probably won't eat again until 3 pm or so and then we'll see. What's up with that? is all the water bloating affecting my feeling of being full overall? Is it that I've eaten more carbs and my body isn't used to digesting them (my stomach felt awful yesterday). it's really weird!
Not sure if I'll fit in formal exercise today - I actually feel like jumping around in teh basement and might do that tonight. I just have to finish these curtains as I cannot stand be harassed any more. And I don't blame her - she's only been waiting about a year for them! (Yep, that's bad!)
Stats for 9/26/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 185.0
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Boy can I pack them on!
See, this is why I don't believe in weighing weekly (or monthly or whatever other long time inbetween individual weighings). You don't get to see the pattern and can freak out about lack of weight loss or weight gain.
For instance. one week ago today I weighed 182.6. Today I stepped on the scale and weighed 185.0. I have worked out and eaten properly all week. Yesterday I ended up eating at maintenance, but definitely didn't overeat. I worked out 4-5 times and was on target - yet, I gained 2.5 pounds? What if I would have weighed once a month? Well, ok, I would see loss, but some months I lose 2 lbs, others I lose 10 pounds. It all depends on my water weight fluctuations. I could drive myself crazy with "what am I doing wrong? questions if I didn't watch carefully and learn about my body's quirks.
So, that's why I weigh myself twice a day. Once in the morning and once before going to bed. I do the weigh in before bed to prepare myself for a bad weigh in. And that's what I got last night.
Yesterday I was on my feet all day long and I mean all day long plus, I had a hard workout. I did eat more than usually, and different from usually (high carb day), but not more than I would burn off in a day - for sure.
Yesterday I was already up more than a pound to 182.4. Last night I stepped on the scale and I think my jaw hit the floor when I saw the scale - 188.8? What???? I then had to get up 3 times during the night to pee (lost 4 of those water pounds overnight), but still woke up to a 3 pound gain from yesterday. A four pound gain in two days due to nothing but hormones. My period started at midnight last night and along with it - all the water I held onto. Wow!
But because I do weigh daily (twice daily) I know there is no way I gained 4 pounds of fat in that time and because I weigh daily and weighed in at 181 more than once, I also know it's not a fluke low weight on a one time reading. I truly am holding lots of water and it too shall pass. And, I wouldn't have added that slice of pizza back into the pie to the left because I would be taking it back out probably the next day.
Very tired today, but it's been a great day!
Stats for 9/25/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 185.0 (Gah!!!)
Exercise total hours for 2011: 271
Total hours walking in 2011: 794/1000
For instance. one week ago today I weighed 182.6. Today I stepped on the scale and weighed 185.0. I have worked out and eaten properly all week. Yesterday I ended up eating at maintenance, but definitely didn't overeat. I worked out 4-5 times and was on target - yet, I gained 2.5 pounds? What if I would have weighed once a month? Well, ok, I would see loss, but some months I lose 2 lbs, others I lose 10 pounds. It all depends on my water weight fluctuations. I could drive myself crazy with "what am I doing wrong? questions if I didn't watch carefully and learn about my body's quirks.
So, that's why I weigh myself twice a day. Once in the morning and once before going to bed. I do the weigh in before bed to prepare myself for a bad weigh in. And that's what I got last night.
Yesterday I was on my feet all day long and I mean all day long plus, I had a hard workout. I did eat more than usually, and different from usually (high carb day), but not more than I would burn off in a day - for sure.
Yesterday I was already up more than a pound to 182.4. Last night I stepped on the scale and I think my jaw hit the floor when I saw the scale - 188.8? What???? I then had to get up 3 times during the night to pee (lost 4 of those water pounds overnight), but still woke up to a 3 pound gain from yesterday. A four pound gain in two days due to nothing but hormones. My period started at midnight last night and along with it - all the water I held onto. Wow!
But because I do weigh daily (twice daily) I know there is no way I gained 4 pounds of fat in that time and because I weigh daily and weighed in at 181 more than once, I also know it's not a fluke low weight on a one time reading. I truly am holding lots of water and it too shall pass. And, I wouldn't have added that slice of pizza back into the pie to the left because I would be taking it back out probably the next day.
Very tired today, but it's been a great day!
Stats for 9/25/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 185.0 (Gah!!!)
Exercise total hours for 2011: 271
Total hours walking in 2011: 794/1000
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Some tricks I've learned to make this journey easier
When I started, I didn't know where to start other than to limit my carbs and get more exercise and eat less overall. Over the last several months I've learned some tricks that help me through rough patches and have found foods that seem to satisfy my tummy and tastebuds without going overboard on calories or carbs.
First, I went back to my trusted companion foods from when I had gestational diabetes. I enjoy a crisp apple, generously sprinkled with Saigon cinnamon and dip it 2-3 tablespoons of Jif peanut butter. I've tried natural peanut butters, but it has to be Jif. That snack is so delicious and so satisfying to me that I eat it almost every single day. I love it after a workout as it's cold and refreshing, satisfies my hunger and is nutritious too. That lunch is usually about 300 calories.
In the beginning, I did protein shakes with whey for breakfast. They are OK, but I tired of them. I liked them as I like a sweet breakfast, but with needing to avoid carbs, that was difficult. Cholcoate protein shakes helped, but lately what I've discovered for a great breakfast is a smoothie. I use one cup of homemade lowfat plain yogurt and mix it with fresh/frozen fruit. I try to always use blueberries and then decide between mango, peaches, strawberries and cherries. I blend that up and have a delicious breakfast full of protein, some fat and fairly low carb for about 120 - 140 calories. That keeps me satisfied for hours.
Another trick I've learned to help with snacks are Atkins protein bars. I only buy the ones that have 2 grams of net carbs. So, when I really feel I just have to have chocolate bar or something sweet, I grab one of those. It totally satisfies the sweet tooth, but without doing the damage of a candy bar. Yes, I know there are artificial ingredients, but I was eating cheetos and store bought cookies/bars before that are just as bad or worse. Going completely clean, at least at this point for me is not realistic. Those bars range from 130-210 calories typically and have loads of protein, fiber and calcium.
Other tricks that help me is to have cheese sticks ready for snacks. My favorite is Polly-O Jalepeno Mozzarella stick. Two of those and it takes the hunger pangs away - 160 calories.
Hummus and fresh veggies are a fantastic lunch with about 150 calories only. I sometimes add a dash of a spice mix to literally spice it up.
For meals, I just make food for my family like normally, but I skip the carb. If I'm making rice with stir fry - I just eat the stirfry portion, making sure there are protein options in either tofu, nuts or chicken to fill me up. For pasta dishes, I make the sauce and either eat a really small portion of the pasta, or instead of over pasta, I put it over broccoli slaw. Again, making sure the sauce has protein to keep me less hungry. For some reason, my body doesn't have sugar issues with potatoes, so I will eat a small potato when my family is eating potatoes.
More recently, I've discovered making mini pies/pizzas. Less dough and then I can fill with beans, cheese, meats and they make great lunches and easy to grab for 250-300 calories per each and not too many carbs.
And I'm constantly learning. I just discovered a recipe for cauliflower pizza crust - have to try it as people rave about it. I add nuts to more foods than before because they add nutrients and taste delicious. But almost everything I do, I try to keep it easy to make and easy to serve as I don't like having to work to prepare my breakfast and lunch. I know myself. I don't like to cook for one which I think is part of the reason I ate such crap for breakfast and especially lunches before. Simple and easy. For dinners I cook for a family and I like putting some effort in with it, but that's only one meal of the day!
So there you have it - my tricks with eating. Not super clean, but soooo much better than what I used to do. it helps that I love to cook and I'm comfortable in the kitchen.
Stats for 9/24/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 182.4
First, I went back to my trusted companion foods from when I had gestational diabetes. I enjoy a crisp apple, generously sprinkled with Saigon cinnamon and dip it 2-3 tablespoons of Jif peanut butter. I've tried natural peanut butters, but it has to be Jif. That snack is so delicious and so satisfying to me that I eat it almost every single day. I love it after a workout as it's cold and refreshing, satisfies my hunger and is nutritious too. That lunch is usually about 300 calories.
In the beginning, I did protein shakes with whey for breakfast. They are OK, but I tired of them. I liked them as I like a sweet breakfast, but with needing to avoid carbs, that was difficult. Cholcoate protein shakes helped, but lately what I've discovered for a great breakfast is a smoothie. I use one cup of homemade lowfat plain yogurt and mix it with fresh/frozen fruit. I try to always use blueberries and then decide between mango, peaches, strawberries and cherries. I blend that up and have a delicious breakfast full of protein, some fat and fairly low carb for about 120 - 140 calories. That keeps me satisfied for hours.
Another trick I've learned to help with snacks are Atkins protein bars. I only buy the ones that have 2 grams of net carbs. So, when I really feel I just have to have chocolate bar or something sweet, I grab one of those. It totally satisfies the sweet tooth, but without doing the damage of a candy bar. Yes, I know there are artificial ingredients, but I was eating cheetos and store bought cookies/bars before that are just as bad or worse. Going completely clean, at least at this point for me is not realistic. Those bars range from 130-210 calories typically and have loads of protein, fiber and calcium.
Other tricks that help me is to have cheese sticks ready for snacks. My favorite is Polly-O Jalepeno Mozzarella stick. Two of those and it takes the hunger pangs away - 160 calories.
Hummus and fresh veggies are a fantastic lunch with about 150 calories only. I sometimes add a dash of a spice mix to literally spice it up.
For meals, I just make food for my family like normally, but I skip the carb. If I'm making rice with stir fry - I just eat the stirfry portion, making sure there are protein options in either tofu, nuts or chicken to fill me up. For pasta dishes, I make the sauce and either eat a really small portion of the pasta, or instead of over pasta, I put it over broccoli slaw. Again, making sure the sauce has protein to keep me less hungry. For some reason, my body doesn't have sugar issues with potatoes, so I will eat a small potato when my family is eating potatoes.
More recently, I've discovered making mini pies/pizzas. Less dough and then I can fill with beans, cheese, meats and they make great lunches and easy to grab for 250-300 calories per each and not too many carbs.
And I'm constantly learning. I just discovered a recipe for cauliflower pizza crust - have to try it as people rave about it. I add nuts to more foods than before because they add nutrients and taste delicious. But almost everything I do, I try to keep it easy to make and easy to serve as I don't like having to work to prepare my breakfast and lunch. I know myself. I don't like to cook for one which I think is part of the reason I ate such crap for breakfast and especially lunches before. Simple and easy. For dinners I cook for a family and I like putting some effort in with it, but that's only one meal of the day!
So there you have it - my tricks with eating. Not super clean, but soooo much better than what I used to do. it helps that I love to cook and I'm comfortable in the kitchen.
Stats for 9/24/11:
Beginning weight: 255.6 Now: 182.4
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